The Homer Simpson within

Ok a bit of background is needed: I was making some Cà phê sữa đá (Vietnamese style coffee) this morning, and in the process of adding sweetened condensed milk I knew deep down inside I could sit down and eat the entire can of sweetened condensed milk with a spoon. I realized this is such Homer Simpson thing to do (like eating a bag of sugar, flour, or 64 slices of American cheese :o ).

So I ask you all: what are examples of the Homer Simpson within you; when you stopped and thought to yourself “is this what Homer Simpson would do?” or WWHSD?

Why bake cookies? The dough tastes better raw. Same for cake.

Mmmmmm… 64 slices of American cheese…

ETA I’d probably try to make a Good Morning Burger, too…

Joe

I think it was the morning I ate two Pop-Tarts and still feeling hungry I went back for something else… which turned out to be two more Pop-Tarts.

Dr. Nick [to Homer]: Instead of bread, use Pop-Tarts!

Well, as a kid I did eat sugar out of the bowl. If memory serves me correctly I just licked it directly off the bowl.

I wish I was more like Homer Simpson but alas I am not.

mmmmmmmmmmm…beer…lotsa beer.

Free goo.

Me, age 3, at Gramma’s house: Tigertoes the cat, Matilda the dog, and I ate the dining room table butter plain, off the stick. I’d “slice” it with my finger and give some to Tigertoes, some to Tilly, and then lick the rest off my finger. Repeat multiple times, until thirsty or someone came into the dining room and realized what I was doing. When I was just a little older (5 instead of 3*) I realized that was a pretty Homer Simpson thing to do, except that he probably wouldn’t share it with the pets.

I have, more than once, wished that some floor pie would appear.

*I’ve been watching the Simpsons for literally as long as I can remember, and a good part of my childhood thoughts were based on it. Me at 8: “I’m never going to be younger than Lisa again! That’s weird!”

I once ate a butter sandwich - a stick (1/4 lb) between two saltines. Om-nom-nom-nom!

Pop it in the freezer for a while first - it’s better chilled. Or put the can in a double boiler for a while. The sugar will caramelize and then chill. Best 1100 calories you’ll ever eat.

f I had a gun, I would be just like Homer in the Cartridge Family.

Seriously.

I’d just be looking for things to shoot at. I’d be pretending to shoot at the tv during commercials.

This is why I dont have a gun.

There was the time I fried up two pounds of bacon and ate it in one sitting. That seems pretty Homer.

Growing up, Dad would do that one better – he’d fry up 5 pounds or so for the family. Even now, when I go home for Xmas, he’ll fry up several pounds so there’s always some available for a BLT or just snacking.

I don’t make bacon at home – it’s strictly a Xmas thing. A good thing, too – if I did eat bacon at home, I’d be dead now. I’m 45 and had an angioplasty 6 weeks ago; frequent bacon binges now would probably do me in.