Rarely do I get an e-mail forward that is worth a shit. This, my friends, is one of those times…
I know that many of you have heard Pat Robertson, Jerry Fallwell, and others speak of the “Homosexual Agenda,” but no one has ever seen a copy of it. I have finally obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual (she/he who must be obeyed). It follows, below.
The Homosexual Agenda:
6:00 am Gym or aerobic excercise
8:00 am Breakfast (oatmeal and egg whites)
9:00 am Hair appointment
10:00 am Shopping
12:00 pm Brunch
2:00 pm
Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, State and Local Governments as well as all other national governments;
recruit all straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle;
destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages;
replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels;
establish planetary chain of “homo-breeding gulags”, where over-medicated imprisoned straight women are turned into artificially impregnated baby factories to produce soon-to-be pre-pubescent love slaves
for our devotedly pederastic gay leadership;
bulldoze all houses of religious worship;
secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass-media for the exclusive use of child pornographers.
2:30 PM Get Forty Winks of Beauty Rest, to prevent facial wrinkles from stress of world conquest.
4:00 PM Cocktails
6:00 PM Light Dinner (soup, salad, with Chardonnay)
About freakin’ time somebody got around to telling me what’s on the Homosexual Agenda. I was starting to wonder if the local Lesbian Underground Revolutionary Movement cell had lost my address.
Modest? You bet I’m modest! I am the queen of modesty!
NTG, they did lose your address, and it was all your fault. You went on a second date without registering your address change at the nearest U-Haul dealership.
LURM has changed their name. They are now known as National Organization of Sisters Protecting our Enjoyment of Rug Munching. Perhaps your address was lost in the administrative change over.
The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. – E. Grebenik
The Communist Party’s “Homosexual Agenda” was revealed today its by spokesman, Satan.
While getting only a lukewarm reception, First Lady Hillary Clinton noted several key points that she was very interested in, and indicated a willingness to open a dialouge with The Infernal One to address several issues.
Pat Roberts immediately stroked after hearing this, while Jerry Fallwell went into a regressive state and was found by his assistants under his desk in a Victoria Secrets black-lace teddy, constantly repeating “Who’s your daddy?” while masturbating to a Playgirl magazine.
When asked for comment, Rush Limbaugh simply said: “See, I told you so!”.
<FONT COLOR=“GREEN”>ExTank</FONT> <FONT COLOR=“BLUE”>“You all knew it all along, though, didn’t you?”</FONT>
Good enough?
As an admitted homosexual, I have to contest the post that Satan put up today. I only sold my soul to you for my aunt to die, not for you to make a bunch of rules that I don’t abide by, really, who would want to have sex with women anyway, and in prison…My prison fantasies are much more interesting than that.
That’s a bogus list. My brother sent me the real one and item five was not on that his. He’d know. I mean… He lives in San Francisco and owns a fair number of Judy Garland records. The math is left as an exercise for the reader.
I particularly like their cure for lesbianism - you click on a link that shows you Dr. Laura’s nude photos, and if that won’t convert you against never wanting to see a woman naked again, nothing will!
This picture that is shown on their front page as the Landover Baptist Church is actually a shot of the Monte Carlo Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada. That in itself is funny as hell I’ll read more later!
-SS
Join the “Free SkySlash From His Ego” Movement Today!!! Visit your local chapter office for details!
Thank the Dark One my boss was out of the office when I read the OP. No way he would’ve believed I thought my spreadsheet was that funny, and then the jig would’ve been up fer damn sure.
“Are you frightened of snakes?”
“Only when they dress like werewolves.”
-Preacher
I’ll read more later!