The horror of Nudists?

[Mariemarie]

Here is a humorous Vice article about a young man’s visit to a Nudist colony in Perth, Australia. Apparently, not everyone is enchanted with the natural beauty of the human form. (Language warning, possible offense to older nudists.)
Naive American visits Perth Nudist colony

What they looked like
The people at church that insist you call them aunt and uncle and give them a kiss, even though your mum only sings in the choir with them sometimes. Ugly enough in church attire, their nude appearance could curdle molten steel. Nudists claim to want to be freed from the confines of clothing, but they’re not into pubic maintenance either. This one Auntie Nudist had the most massive minge I have ever seen. It undulated in the wind like a wide bed of steel-grey sea grass undiscovered by dugongs, sea turtles, or anything else that might have checked its growth. The late afternoon sun filtered through this gunmetal muff and cast the shadow of a giant snowflake on my thigh.

[Ex_Machina]

That was hilarious. I’ve often wondered about the claims of nudists that there is nothing sexual to the practice, that it is merely a natural and liberating lifestyle. But if that is true then why would a nudist engage in risky behavior like being photographed nude at a tourist attraction? Apparently there is a thrill inherent in the practice. Maybe the desire to roam about in a naked community can be summed up in the words impotent exhibitionism. I bet if you spiked the punch at the costume party with viagra the asexual myth would evaporate.

I have a good name for a nudist colony: “Lake Flaccid”

Also here is an idea for the nudist costume party: Wear a fake beard and come as Aunty Nudist’s minge.

[Doomtrain]

It’s gotta be a shock. I’m sure you psych yourself up with ideas of hot chicks all NAKED and then you get there and it’s more like Aunty Nudist.