I have a Maine Coon myself. He weighs in @ 25#. The most affectionate cat I have ever owned. But having him jump on your tummy is… “surprising” to say the least.
lol
That’s even bigger than Lucy Cat. She’s about eighteen pounds and looks even bigger because she’s such a fuzzball. She’s not particularly affectionate but she gleefully enjoys chin scratching and even the occasional belly rub in the right mood.
Drove down to visit a friend and take her to a fair. We had fun, riding rides, eating bad foods. Her boyfriend texted that he wanted to come by. Cool, the more the merrier. By that point, we were also escorting the daughter of her neighbor. When he got there, we met him, and he stood with his arms crossed. My friend then playfully grabbed his arm… “C’mon, let’s ride a ride! :D”
“I don’t like rides. :mad:”
“Oh, you want to get a lemon shake up? :D”
“No. :mad:”
“Elephant ear? :)” “No. I’m not hungry. :mad:” “Look at the horses? 
” “:mad:” “Piggies? ” “:mad:” “We could at least sit… :(” “No, I don’t want to sit. :mad:” “What’s wrong? :(” “You know I don’t like fairs. I don’t like rides. I hate crowds. :mad:” “:(”
So we just stood there awkwardly as she talked to him, and he grunted. She tried to take his hand, he took it back, shoved his hands in his pocket. We slowly ambled around on a grassy area behind the food stalls, his hands in his pockets while she held onto the elbow of his shirt, like a little girl. The daughter and I tagged behind, like we were their kids.
Look dude, you came of your own accord. To a fair. What the hell did you expect to do at a fair? Why did you think your girlfriend wanted to go to a fair?
To her credit, she got tired of trying to baby him, and she sent him home. We had a blast the rest of the day without him. I asked her what was up, and she said he just didn’t like fun. Anything she liked was automatically dismissed as pointless fluff. She wanted to go to a concert of two of her favorite bands the next weekend, and he wouldn’t take her. “He doesn’t like music. Or concerts.” She hasn’t been able to come up to see me or her other friends, and he’s surly when her brothers stop by.
I feel like a bad guy for wanting my friend to dump her boyfriend. But I think my feeling’s warranted, at least by what I saw. He just isn’t right for her.
Greyhounds seem awesome, but since I own house rabbits, I think that’s probably the worst animal combo I can think of. 
Maybe trying to house a coyote and roadrunner together would be more harmonious…
We ARE talking about a grown man, right?
This guy really shouldn’t be in a relationship at all. Not at all fit for human company, IMO, until he matures enough to behave civilly and not try to cut his girlfriend off from everything she enjoys.
Physically grown, but not mature. He’s 28. It’s okay to not like things, but I agree he shouldn’t be in a relationship with someone until he learns that being in one means compromising. Then again, she’s also to blame; she always ends up being the one who compromises in her relationships, and when her partner won’t bend, she just puts herself down some more. When the guys she’s with find out that they get to have the pretty girl who does all the work in the relationship AND still get to be a boy, why would they want to change the status quo?
I’ll admit being the same way with my first wife, and it was a harsh, needed slap in the face to get divorced. I know “divorce is the best thing that ever happened to me!” is usually a joke, but it was true for me… it made me realize I had to grow up.
I think my mini-rant was both directed at him for being a jerk, and her for needing to grow up herself, and learn to assert her right to be treated as an equal, instead of a “ball and chain.”
And I think you have a valid point on both of them. Sorry you got your day soured by getting stuck in their dysfunction.
Glad you got some clues and grew up.
He’s not just “not right for her”, he’s emotionally abusive. She needs to get out NOW before it escalates. He’s obviously jealous and controlling and it will only get worse until she is cut off from her loved ones just as miserable as he is.
I needed an “outsider” - friend of my then-boyfriend - to give me the wake-up talk I needed and I was luckily able to get out and make a wonderful life for myself. If you’re not comfortable doing the talking then maybe you have another mutual friend who would be. Until then keep a very close eye on her.
Inconsiderate assclowns who dump out an entire soda or coffee in the parking lot RIGHT OUTSIDE THEIR CAR DOOR!
Hey, fuckmagnet, somebody else has to pull in there when you leave and step out in your sticky mess. For being such a self-absorbed dickchoke, I hope when you poured it out it splattered all over your light-colored pants. And you have a job interview today…first one in months. And you didn’t get the job because you had Dr. Pepper on your pants and they figured you’re a fucking slob (which you are). Oh, and I hope you have to sell your nice car and move into a studio apartment because your only income is working part time cleaning cat pee out of carpets. And I hope your water heater dies and you break a wine glass while you’re doing dishes and have to fish out the shards with your soft, waterlogged fingers.
Luckily for the people who are bitching today about the marathon closing streets downtown tomorrow, I’m only mildly annoyed at them. I’d hate to have to curse them with nose pimples. In both nostrils. The ones really high up there, so you can’t even reach them, and even if you do it’ll bring tears to your eyes and make you whine and squal like a guinea pig.
I’ve done it once before, regarding her last boyfriend. It was practically the same situation. Then, it was easy, because they lived up here. She stayed with him, and only ended up leaving because an aunt opened her home to her. She’s now south of me by not too many miles (70 or so), but the drive takes a couple of hours each way, and because of our schedules, we only get to see each other every other month at best.
That said, our texting and calling has jumped dramatically in the last few months, and reading between the lines, I think she knows that she’s in the same debacle as before. We’re meeting for lunch next week, and I imagine we’ll be talking about it.
I don’t want to go into her life story, but I do understand why she keeps ending up in these situations, and it’s not that she seeks out abusers. She’s just extremely vulnerable resource-wise to predatory guys, and keeps jumping from frying pan to frying pan, hopefully never ending up in a fire. And if I could shake out of her her notion that accepting offers from her friends of shelter and the ability to start her life anew, I would… she has a number of safe places to go, it’s just a matter of her choosing to do so.
Three missing homework notes in less than three months of school. How can my nine year old get into the gifted and talented program and then turn around and pull this shit? Why is she getting stellar results on all her tests and then not doing her homework? I was exhausted last night so I forgot to double check on her after she told me she had completed a math worksheet.
What the hell is going on here? Now I have make good on my threats and tell her she isn’t going to trunk or treat next Sat. And she will not be going trick or treating AND getting a birthday party in January unless she stops this crap.
Fuck.
Mom? Is that YOU?
I was the same way.
Edit: I do want to add, though…I don’t think punishment helped me.
So was I alas. It’s hard when you realize an adored child has all your virtues and all your flaws. And you didn’t even begin to outgrow your flaws until you outgrew childhood. I understand my eldest child so much sometimes it scares me.
I sort of wish her teachers would only count her test scores. She’d be just fine. She hates homework because she views it as boring busywork. She’s right but she’s going to have suck it up and get over it. I just have to figure out how to get her to finally realize that.
Same here. But being in the G&T program only meant that you had more homework to do on top of the standard stuff, and it just seemed like it was punishment for being smart.
“Unnatural?” Don’t dogs living in packs naturally get trained by their alpha to know their place in the pack?
That was my response, too - he isn’t right for anyone.
They certainly do, and it’s necessary for their mental health to have that pack structure. It’s just how they’re wired.
I walked about 6 blocks down to a fast food place for lunch today. Place is kinda busy, so I sit at a small table a couple of feet from two women at the next table.
Young woman complaining bitterly to her mother. Says all she wants is a name on the birth certificate, because her son would regret it all his life if he never knew who his father was. But “they” keep asking all these questions that she refuses to answer. What kind of car did he drive? What was his name? Did she see his drivers license? Did he wear glasses? What day was the child concieved?
:eek:
Was unclear whether this was a one-night stand or a rape. The DL question and some of the others made it sound like she knew him, but the other general description ones made it sound like a rape.
Now, I have every sympathy if she was raped, and it’s good she’s intent on raising the child, but seriously…
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
How are you so frothing angry at “them” for asking these questions and for them not being able to tell you this guy’s name when you refuse to give them the most basic of information? How the bloody fucking hell are they supposed to know who this guy was? Magic? Psychics? Asking God?
Her mother sat there looking down, slowly eating and not saying a word. Don’t blame her.
I was like that too. I thought the homework was boring and didn’t feel that I needed practice on stuff I already understood. I was also depressed because I couldn’t understand the headgames the other girls were playing. I was a bit aspy-ish though.
It might be good to look into whether depression has anything to do with it.
What I finally realized was that life consists of doing a lot stuff that’s boring, but that it has to be done. And boring busywork teaches you to just buckle down and get the job done. The busywork doesn’t have any value for a bright student, other than that. For average or below average students, the busywork will help them by giving the practice in solving the problems.
But Life will require that she do things like housework, or taxes, or just plain maintenance of various things. She needs to learn to do things because they are required. Life doesn’t give us an unlimited amount of interesting, exciting things to do. Most of what we have to do is boring, or it becomes boring with repetition. For instance, I have to turn in a couple of prescriptions and gas up the car this afternoon. While I viewed these chores as exciting outings when I was younger, now they are boring, but I still need to do them.
ETA: Doing the busywork will instill habits which she will probably find useful in college.
Yes, and I HATE dudes who let their teeny tiny little yappy dogs take over as Alpha “isn’t he so cute?” they say as the rat gnaws at my ankle. :mad:
Look, human- YOU have to be the Alpha. Even if the dog is bun-sized. To do otherwise is to perform a sort of animal abuse.