What would you consider to be an “ideal” romantic relationship? I was asked this question the other day and it was a stumper, partly because it’s hard for me to imagine an “ideal” relationship existing in the real world.
So what are your thoughts? What makes a relationship ideal?
Well, yeah, the “ideal” relationship, or the ideal anything else for that matter, probably doesn’t exist in the real world, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t relationships that approach the ideal more closely than others. Although even that may imply the false assumption that there is one “right” way to have a relationship that all relationships can be measured by.
Still, if there is, even theoretically, such a thing as an ideal relationship, I think it’s safe to say that one characteristic of it is that it brings out the best in both participants.
Hot, big-titted.
Deaf.
Dumb.
Blind.
Nymphomaniac.
Heiress.
To liquor-store empire.
Some would say Over 18 and breathing.
Some would just say breathing.
Some wouldn’t say either!
I don’t think an ideal is that hard to match at all.
Obviously we’d have to be really into each other. Obviously the hot monkey sex would have to be hot and monkeyish. Other than that, enjoy each other’s company, respect each other, give each other some space, and have some hobbies in common.
For me, it’s always been someone with whom I share a very high level of intimacy and emotional understanding, but also wouldn’t make me feel smothered. I have a strong need to do independent things and pursue my own individual goals, and I would want someone who had this drive as well.
To go deeper, the ideal relationship would be one that pushes me spiritually to be a better person, to be more loving and to be an enthusiastic servant of the community at large. My partner would have to treat others with just as much love/respect/compassion as he treats me. Ideally we would both serve as a support and comfort to one another as we strive to achieve our own goals.
And then obviously, there would be the laughter, the camaraderie, the good, intelligent conversation.
I wanted all these things long before I had met the person that would help to make them happen. I consider my marriage ideal, to me, because it has all these qualities and more. I believe that it is possible for the ideal relationship to exist in real life because as far as I’m concerned, I’m living it.
Which is not to suggest it is perfect, that we always see eye to eye, never argue, etc. It’s just that each of these obstacles seem to make our union stronger, not tear it down. I would not change a single thing about my marriage if I could, and I have to imagine that’s about as close to ideal as anyone can get.
Look, I don’t want to date outside my species, but you have all the fun you want. 
Ideal relationships are based on trust and respect. My wife and I are friends before all else. Sure, we are lovers, parents, companions and so on. But we each know that we can count on each other no matter what. Of course, we’d each like something different or more from each other: She’d like me to not be such a slob and I’d like her to dress up as a Catholic schoolgirl, I’ll be her teacher and she has to beg me for a passing grade…uh, never mind.
What I mean is that the idea of someone giving you everything you want is unrealistic and, IMHO, boring. I’d go nuts if my wife never disagreed with me or if she liked all the things I like. Even the idea of her always being in the mood when I am could get dull. It’s fun sometimes to try to “persuade” her, especially when she is on the phone with a friend and I get her hot, bothered and distracted.
I like that we can intellectual discussions about American history or literature and then turn around and watch Airplane! and laugh our asses off. We have been together 21 years, married 18, and we still hold hands in public and I still think she has the softest, sweetest kisses in the world. I can easily see us staying together for the rest of our lives. She is my ideal.
Great answer Slypork, I suppose that was the point of the question that was posed to me, and as usual I was too dense to grasp the finer meaning.
Some more responses from those of you that are in an "ideal’ relationship would be great!
Someone who’s fairly attractive. (Doesn’t have to be a super model. Just someone who is as attractive a woman as I am a man.)
Someone who’s into sci-fi movies and books.
An atheist
Someone smarter than me would be nice. (all tho’ that is kind of selfish of me I admit.)
Someone who keeps the negativity at a minimum. (again, doesn’t have to be a pollyanna, just keep it in check.)
That’s great, and not to belittle your post, but…
You’ve described your ideal partner. The thread is about your ideal relationship. While the two things are certainly related, they are not the same, and I think the distinction is important. Assuming you found this woman (and maybe you have), how would things be between you?
Maybe the OP can shed some light on this.
Yes, I think that is an important difference. My question is more along the lines of the facets of the relationship. Communication, sharing, resolving conflict, those types of factors.
What olivesmarch4th said. I’ll add Hot Monkey Sex[sup]TM[/sup] as well. And also cuddling and mutual support and friendly touch. And intelligence and a questing, questioning mind. No subservience or mastery, but a meeting of equals.
And above all, someone I can relax with: someone who is comfortable with me and I with her.
Is it possible? Yes. Likeley? …um, I’ll have to get back to you on that.
SHAKES, how you doin’? 
In my conception of an ideal relationship, there’d be:
1- intellectual connection wherein he wants to cuddle up and read books and watch movies and documentaries and mythbusters etc. and actually TALK about them! :eek:
2- a comfortable degree of security and warmth and affection. my last SO was very loathe to display any signs of affection. I like being called “sweetpea” and I like hands on my shoulders, etc.
3- good sex, on both ends. an excitement about pleasing me and an appreciation when I get excited about pleasing him. one-sidedness/selfishness to a minimum. Last SO was somewhat selfish in bed, as well.
4- respect. real distress if I’m upset. a desire to walk across the earth to make me happy. I model this aspect about my relationship with my father. I know that, if I really needed him, he’d be there for me. A practical dependability borne from love.
To my mind the core of any relationship is solid trust, affection, and having a personal mythology/history to be proud of. The rest is details that can change over time, but if these three change, it isn’t good.
At this phase in my life I’d say I’d like a disease-free gigolo who turns me on yet I don’t have to pay 
I’d say fuck buddy but I don’t really even want a real friendship with him because of the chance he might eventually want more.
Since I have a slim to none chancing of finding such a thing I may as well wish for a unicorn and some magic beans too.
How *you *doin’?
I’ll second that. And throw in a sense of humour. And some Hot Buttered Monkey Sex[sup]TM[/sup]
(The relationship would be slightly less ideal without the butter…)
See, that’s the worst part! I’m pretty picky
Butter? I would think olive oil would be more romantic. More of that Mediterranean flair, less of that rancid dairy taste.
Applesauce was interesting…