If you don’t cut out that shouting, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!
(Are these threats idle, or merely futile?)
There should be an “I’m gonna kick your ass!” smilie.
If you don’t stop right now, I’m going to sit on you!
and “:mad:” isn’t a close enough one… Only looks pissed… Not quite the “I’m gonna kick your ass!” kinda mad, though.
(for use with SO, use deep, huskey voice)
You’d better not do that. You really wanna know what will happen if you do that? I don’t think you want to. You think you do? (beckons) Come over hear and we’ll find out.
I’ve always loved this one, and I use it on my own children.
I think it’s important to give children choices in order to help foster their proper development. My favorite, since they’ve been old enough to understand the concept of “idle threat,” has always been, “You have a choice. You can knock that off right now, or I can kill you.”
Don’t make me come over there. If you think I’m kidding, just keep up…just keep IT UP…I mean it. I have had it. Hey. HEY!!! I’m not yelling just to hear myself yell.
That’s it. Just wait til your dad gets home. Noooooo, it’s too late now. Uhuh. Fergitit.
Don’t bother with apologies. I mean it. Dammit, I said STOP!
[sub]For the children impaired, this usually makes a lot more sense when spoken. When written, it’s drivel. It’s drivel, either way, but really sounds good verbally.[/sub]
That’s a little extreme, Legend. Choices must be developmentally appropriate. Now, if I get any of that “Why should I do what you say?” sauce, I’ve been known to reply “I’ll let you keep your teeth another week. Your choice.”
But, you see, when I started using my threat, they still had their baby teeth. This would have been an empty threat indeed, especially given the effect of inflation on the Tooth Fairy.
I think we can both agree that there is room for more than one sensible choice in parenting situations like this.
Don’t you two start fighting. DON’T DO IT!!! I’m dialing the police right now and we’ll see how much fighting you do in jail.
I’m picking up the handset! I’m dialing 9. . .1. . … Damnit I said stop fighting!
Hey SparrowHawk, c’mere! I caught this really tiny frog.
::Holds up fist, shakes and puts ear up to it::
Yeah, he’s still alive. Wanna see?
::Open top of fist slightly::
Ya gotta look real close, he’s really small. Here, put your eye right up to my hand.
To be continued…
clayton_e, you need to learn how to embellish your smilies. Try this one:
{({({({:mad:})})})}
This is how I tell other people I’m about to spontaneously combust if they don’t CUT IT OUT RIGHT NOW!!!
How old are you?
Y’wanna live to be (Current age +1)?
(Yeah, it loses something in the translation.)
You can get that look off your face right now, or I can do it. Your choice.
hey…
hey…
HEY…
If you Dopers can’t start getting along and posting nice, I’ll turn this thread RIGHT around and take it straight back home!
Yeah, right, Horseflesh. I’m not as dumb as you look. Nobody’s as dumb as you look.
Whoops. Thread seems to be morphing from Idle Threats to Playground Insults…
<yanks violently on tail of thread, bringing it around smartly with a snap>
… and I don’t want to hear another word out of you, or I’m calling your father.
I’m gonna get on you like white on rice.
I’m gonna land on you like a duck on a June bug.
I’m gonna knock you into next week.
If you don’t stop that right now, I shall fart.
Okay. Look at it this way, before you decide if you want to use that tone with me again…
Do you really want all your friends in marching band to find out that you and your Mommy have [sticking foot out] matching tennies???
You kids cut it out! If I have to pull this car over!!..
Or my favorite: “I’m gonna reach back there and give you a crack!” This works best in a moving vehicle. It’s a two-fold threat: Not only will I smack you, I’ll probably lose control of the car in the process and we’ll crash into something. So you’d better behave.
One for my Evil Boss:
If you don’t stop being an arrogant, self-satisfied chuck of donkey mutton, I’m gonna shove this flipping job right back up your ass where it belongs. And I’ll do it sideways!
Don’t test me.
If ya’ll don’t stop, I’ll be on you like ugly ohn’ape.
Y’all cut this out!
If not, you’ll be punished by having to watch the entire run of Big Brother 2, in reverse order!