In the past month, I’ve been on two different dates with two different women where she gets a phone call, and … lo and behold, the babysitter says the kid is acting up, and wants her mommy. We settle up the tab, and she leaves, usually never to be seen again.
I think it’s all an act. A woman gets a friend to call her about an hour or so into the date. If it’s going well, she’ll pick up the phone, say she’s okay, and hang up. If she thinks it’s the date from hell (which now means anything less than sparks a’flyin’), she’ll make up a story about the kid, using that as an excuse to escape.
So, is the “kid acting up” story a common ploy to get out of a date?
Well, if she’s childless you KNOW it’s just an act.
That does sound a bit too neat - I’d guess this is a ruse. Unless the women in question have kids less than 2 or she left saying that her kid had an illness or something and might need to rush back.
Not being a parent, or a dater of parents, I can’t say for sure, but it strikes me as a major warning sign. I mean, if the kid really is acting up badly enough to need mommy at once, do you want to spend the rest of your relationship with mommy battling for equal attention?
I don’t blame you for suspecting an excuse, but I’m not sure that it neccessarily is. An awful lot of parents today seem to be unable to go any length of time without checking on their kids. (I’ve been baby sitting for a two and a half year old, not quite potty trained tot. The two longer evenings, plus one shorter occassion, I got a call from Mom or Dad asking how things were going–fine, then. We developed problems when kid finally realized that I was prepared to put her to bed without dinner, rather than let her wait up for Mom.)
Still, it does seem kind of convenient–and hard to argue with. And if Mom is feeling apprehensive about this whole dating thing, I can see where it might be an escape hatch.
(bolding mine) I think you answered your own question. If she doesn’t call the next day, apologizing profusely and asking to reschedule, she really had a great time until she had to leave, etc.- it was a ruse.
Single male here with a child. I do this if the date isn’t going well. If the date is going well I ask for the child to be put on the phone and tell him to behave and that I love him and that I will see him the next day. It is an easy out.
I would have to agree that the test is whether she calls you, or returns your call the next day. If she doesn’t, then it doesn’t matter if it was a ruse or not. You’re done with her.
Does she just answer the phone and say “I’ll be right there”? Or do they talk to the kid, hang up, babysitter calls back, then they go home? Because that would sound like the kid was actually acting up, whereas just picking up the phone and leaving seems less plausible.
“Acting up”…that’s pretty good! It’s pretty cheesy behavior, but IMO it’s actually a good thing for you. It’s a telling point about their character. Would you really want to have a relationship with someone so petty and duplicitous they make up little tricks to bail on a date halfway through?
But thanks for the tip I just put up my match.com ad the other day … well come to think of it most ladies in my age cohort aren’t going to have kids young enough to use babysitters. Now what excuse would single 40 something ladies use to slip away from my dynamic presence… hmmm?
Ring … Ring … OMG gotta go! Cat’s acting up!
Ring …Ring … Oh Lord! Gotta bail my son out again!
Ring… Ring … Sorry Ex-boyfriends threatening to commit suicide. Must scoot!
Am I the only one that would have SO much more respect for the person if they were to just be honest and say “Listen freind, I’m just not feel’n it. Can we just get the tab and leave please?”
All tho’ that kind of honesty might feel like a dager to the heart; it feels a lot better than some one insulting your intelligence. (on top of being rejected)