I was getting yelled at by at least two, and getting their 1/6 can each (they always have free-feed kibble available as well) fairly distributed was a challenge, since a certain kitten guest is very assertive about helping herself and I do NOT want scuffles over the canned food, since the youngster is so tiny Buddy could easily hurt her pretty badly without even meaning to and Allie’s at “fragile little old lady” so I worry about her getting hurt in such a situation.
Yes, there is an automatic kibble dispenser with two bowls. They always have food. Findus gets her own smaller kibble, which Goo sometimes helps herself to, but she’s always got kibble.
CatMom has paperwork that says Findus was 3.5 pounds when he was weighed before we adopted him. When we took him in for a checkup on Saturday, he was 4.82 pounds. There was a story on the news this morning about 70 cats found in a U-Haul trailer. (The woman was arrested.) It was mentioned in the report that kittens usually gain about a pound a month. Findus is still tiny, but we can tell he’s getting bigger.
Goo is in bed. CatMom mentioned that Findus goes crazy when she went to bed.n I heard him playing after she went to her room. Abbey is next to me on the couch. I wish Abbey would sleep with CatMom. Even before we got Findus, I’d have to carry her in. Often, she ‘d be like, ‘OK, I’m not staying here.’ So Goo sleeps with me, Findus sleeps with CatMom, and Abbey sleeps in the living room.
Last night there was a ruckus in CatMom’s room. Goo attacked Findus. CatMom found a toenail (Goo’s) and a scratch in Findus’s head. This afternoon she notices a scratch on Findus’s upper lip from the same altercation. She loves Goo, but she’s mad at her. Findus spent almost all day locked in CatMom’s room. I let him out for a little bit while she was at work, and she brought him out for a little bit because she said he shouldn’t be punished for Goo’s misbehaviour.
Both Goo and Abbey have had ‘calming’ treats (Kitty calmers, as I call them – chamomile seems to be the active ingredient). Goo is asleep on my bed, and Abbey is relaxing beside me on the other end of the couch.
CatMom wants to let Goo know that she’s mad at her. I want to make both cats know they are loved as much as Findus. Abbey hasn’t been in proximity to Findus today, so I don’t know how she’s doing. I just make sure I give her lovin’s. I think Goo’s issue is that she likes to play, and she’s food motivated. She seems OK in the open, but back in CatMom’s bedroom with some kitten kibble in a bowl and a kitten in the room sets her off.
You’ve got the right of it here. Goo’s being shut, at least part of the time, out of Cat Mom’s room in favor of Findus. Goo is quite justifiably upset. You do need to protect Findus; but Goo needs lots of extra attention. Plus which, hours later, she won’t think she’s being punished for that specific incident; she’ll just think she’s in danger of being supplanted.
And I wouldn’t worry too much about an occasional claw to the head. Findus may be small, but he’s a very high confidence kit. The cats will work it out; but sometimes working it out involves a bit of fighting.
Findus is now spending all of his time in CatMom’s room. He used to venture out, but Goo has decided to attack him every time she sees him. We leave the door open when we’re home, so that Findus can leave the room if he wants. Goo will go back and attack him. 
Huh. This isn’t so good. What happens if you carry him out and hold him on your lap or shoulder?
Got back from church, then went to the supermarket for Thanksgiving necessities. The girls were out in the catio with CatMom, who was on the phone.
I went back to get Findus, and bring him out front while I emptied my pockets… but CatMom had come in, and Goo with her. Goo was in the short cat tree at the front window. I held Findus, and gave Goo some pets. Goo didn’t hiss or anything. I took Findus back to the room, and then came out and let Goo smell my fingers, She ran them along the side of her mouth, and I pet her head some more. (She often wants to smell my fingers before I pet her, even before we got Findus.) So I hope I demonstrated that I may be holding the little boy ca, but I still love her.
I brought Findus out briefly for the same exercise last night.
That seems encouraging.
I spend the evenings sitting on the left side of the couch. Goo is asleep on the back of the couch. I went and brought Findus out, and held him and stroked him on my chest. When he kept trying to get up, I transferred him to CatMom’s lap, and he watched her move the cursor on her computer for a little bit. Then he got up and went back to the bedroom. Goo slept through it all.
Findus has sharp fangs… and I have thin skin. I went in to pet him. After purring a bit, he decided it was time to play and attacked my hand. His little fan actually drew blood.
Goo came in while I was petting Findus. I didn’t chase her out or scold her. I want her to know she’s welcome in CatMom’s room… as long as she behaves herself.
I think I said… Findus was quite brave and curious when we adopted him. He would approach Goo and Abbey to try to make friends. Both of the girls hissed at him. Abbey growled.
Findus spends most of his time in CatMom’s bedroom. Goo will go back there and attack him. We chase her out and tell her, ‘No!’ (with pointed fingers). Abbey hides when I go back to rescue Findus.
CatMom was feeding Findus his gooshy food in her room, with the door shut. I’ve started feeding all three cats in the kitchen. Goo’s and Abbey’s food stations are separated (Goo’s at the end of the counter around the corner, and Abbey’s in the middle of the counter). I put Findus’s bowl basically in the middle of the kitchen floor. Goo gets a quarter of a can, and Abbey and Findus get an eighth of a can. (Findus gets ⅛ can in the morning.) Goo usually finishes first, followed by Abbey. Abbey rarely finishes all of her food, so Goo looks forward to cleaning her plate after Abbey walks away. Findus continues to eat while Goo goes over to finish off Abbey’s leavings, but he keeps an eye on her. Findus will stay and eat until Goo finishes, then he gets nervous. We take his dish with whatever residue is in it (usually only a little) back to the bedroom. All of the kitties are peaceable during dinner time.
I’m also bringing Findus out into the living room when Goo and Abbey are relaxing. He’s becoming more comfortable.
Today, Goo went back into CatMom’s room, and I did not hear a ruckus. I think she just wants to sleep on CatMom’s bed, which she hasn’t been able to do since Findus came. It’s fine, if that’s all she wants to do. We’re letting her. Goo was pretty calm today… until she wasn’t. I heard her chasing Findus in CatMom’s room. I went back there, and Goo left. I thought it was over. But before I could make another post in MPSIMS or wherever, she went back This time she got scolded.
Once she’d settled down, and Abbey was comfortable (She’s mellowed a bit toward Findus), I brought Findus out into the living room. Goo was ‘asleep’ on the back of CatMom’s chair, Abbey was on CatMom’s ottoman, and I had Findus in my lap. All was calm. Findus got onto the coffee table and looked around a bit, before he went back to the bedroom.
As CatMom was brushing her teeth (she goes to bed early), Findus actually ventured out into the living room by himself, without being taken there. He was in front of the chair, while Abbey was to the side of it. No drama ensued. Abbey jumped up onto the back of the chair, and Findus sat behind the chair for a bit before going back to the bedroom. I think he’s getting his mojo back.
CatMom has gone to bed. I can hear Findus berserking back there.. which drives CatMom nuts, because she wants to sleep.
I think that may be a big part of the problem you’re having. Goo’s been evicted from her favored sleeping place with her human; of course she’s going to be upset, and taking it out on the interloper isn’t at all surprising.
I presume you had a reason for doing it that way, as opposed to starting Findus off in a room more neutral and less important to the previously resident cats. But if you have such a room available, maybe you could still switch Findus over there?
Findus is still afraid of Goo, who stalks him in CatMom’s room and attacks him. But Abbey seems somewhat OK with him. She’ll growl if he gets too close, but is not aggressive. We’re feeding Findus in the kitchen with Goo and Abbey. I’ve been bringing Findus out into the living room. He’s becoming more comfortable. He’s been on my lap, then CatMom’s lap, now on CatMom’s ottoman (on her computers) for a couple of hours now. 
Findus may well need a room of his own for a refuge for some time. But do you have any other choices for which room that is?
There’s my room. Goo sleeps with me. Abbey sometimes hides under the bed (e.g., when there are fireworks).
If Goo usually sleeps with you that wouldn’t be any better and might be worse.
She’s not in there during the day. CatMom’s room is the place Findus feels safest. I’m sorry Goo feels excluded – she’s welcome to sleep on the bed – but she’s not allowed to get puffy. We’re glaf Findus is feeling safer in the living room.
Goo is still attacking Findus. Not at dinner time; then, Goo will try to touch noses with Findus… but Findus flinches.
I think the issue is that Goo (and Abbey) liked to sleep on CatMom’s bed during the day. Findus is an intruder, and Goo is not amused. The thing is, Findus doesn’t sleep on the bed. He likes the chair, between the bed and the wall (where he’s safe-ish from an attack), or under the chair or dresser. Goo could quite peaceably sleep on the bed without worrying about an interloper. Findus wants to be friends with Goo and Abbey, but Goo is spoiling it.
Goo sleeps with me at night; not on CatMom’s bed. Yes, she wants to sleep on CatMom’s bed during the day. No one is stopping her. She just needs to stop attacking Findus, and everyone will be happy: Findus, Goo, CatMom, and CatDad… and probably Abbey as well. (FWIW, I put four or five ‘calming’ treats in Goo’s food every afternoon.)
This may settle down with time. Lots of pats and encouragement in all directions; which you’re doing. Also eventually Findus won’t be a kitten; which may change the relationship. While some adult cats are extra gentle with kittens, others seem to be unnerved by them, at least if they’re not their own kittens.