My Dear
My sweet inspiring muse when you are not near all I seem to have is pointless endless time.
So I sit here trying to pass heartache by writting. I try to lose myself in my creativeness.
My pen touches the pages when I’d rather be running my fingertips through your hair.
I try to push you from my thoughts but it’s all for naught. I would sooner find it easier to part the sun from the sky than take the warmth from those same thoughts of you.
Yet as the suns rays filter through the window I find myself cold, chilled by the void created because you are not here.
I am filled with the frost in the wake of your passing. I feel empty as the blank pages that stare back at me.
Simple words.
Once I thought upon them just as a tool of communication yet, I know now they are a gift that is all of my creativeness. They are not just the ink in my pen but more so, they are the very life blood that courses through my body.
Words, they are the essence of my soul.
Instead of you, my hand holds this pen in it’s gentle embrace yet it does not write for me.
Without you near my heart refuses to beat. Those simple words which once flowed steadily undamned now do not flow through my body.
My essence lays sleeping, chained, blocked by the loss of your delicate smile, your intoxicating voice and your ever sweet touch.
Shakespare wrote of star crossed lovers but what is between you and I is by far more tragic than anything his hopeless romantic poetic mind could possibly comprehend.
For you are what makes me live, you are both the life and death of me.
Repeatedly I know a joy more overwhelming than love. If love were a cloud then when I am with you I would have to reach down to grasp its meaning.
But just as often as I rejoice in life with you I too know the great pain caused from our parting which is my death.
It is like the heat being torn from a flame yet it continues some how to live on and all that remains is a dim flicker that is only a reminder of its once glorious beauty before that too is stolen.
If I have to suffer such loss again from having to part with you, to miss one more beat of your heart, to have another breath that could have been shared with you lost, I too shall dim and cease to flicker.
It would be easy for me to say without you I feel as if a part of me were missing, but such a statement is empty compaired to the pain I endure without you.
I miss you more than I would miss my next breath and I miss you more with each new breathless moment.
If a comparision had to be made of us then you would be the brilliant sun and I the moon, eternally chasing each other through the same sky with just a brief moment to share in each others grace.
Even though we are so far apart your brilliant light causes me to glow within and without. But I can only bathe in your warmth in the very least of passing moments.
Such is the pain, the nightmare that I live each day knowing if it were any less I would not survive.
For if you were never in my life, if I was never blessed by your incredible being, then I would not have ever lived at all.
I know you will find it hard to believe this but I swear with all I am and could be that it is true.
For what is the moon without the sun? It is not but a mass of cold lifeless stone endlessly floating meaninglessly in an even colder space.
Without the sun no lover would be able to see nor enjoy the gentle magic that is the moon. Not a single couple would stare at the nights horizon in blissful awe at what they see.
Just like without you, I would not know of the pleasentness my words could create.
Without you I’m dark and cold, a void in which no joy can bare to live in. Time sadly passes unnoticed, unlived, not charished by so many.
Yet, I notice each second as it passes, for I lay dead and dorment without you.
Each chilling second, each painful empty moment, every dark day and endless night I lay here alone waiting once again to feel your warmth, but instead I wait and it tares at me like an unrelenting, unforgiving storm.
I somehow manage to contine living this hollow shell of a life.
My only thoughts…nay, hopes, are that just once I will live again in your eyes, that I will hear my name from you lips, feel your embrace.
Even if it is but for a whispering length of a breath in your wonderous light and in your incredible soul soothing warmth.
Thanks. I think you’re neat too.
I’m sorry. That was insensitive.
That was writting to me by a friend of mine. Sorry, I should have said that when I posted it.
I just wanted to share something happy in my life for a change.
LOL sorry I just want to be friends sorry for leading you on?
Whew!
Methinks there is a lovely backstory here…
I’m happy for you, Kricket. You deserve this.
Best,
karol
Someone’s gonna get a blow job!
Goofing aside, that is a very beautiful letter. I hope there’s a mutual love fest going on here!