rolls her eyes at some of the responses
Alrighty then, maybe I should start something off…
I never thought that I would die without getting a proper chance to say goodbye and telling everyone how much you all really mean to me, you know that I couldn’t have done anything without you all. I tried to tell you that I loved you while I was alive, I would so scared that this would happen and you wouldn’t know that I really did care.
Daniel, you know I love you, sweetie. There’s nothing in this world or in any other that could change that. I am your pretty kitty, no matter what. Heck, if Carynn couldn’t and everything that happened in Mexico couldn’t(you know that it all happened because I missed you and I thought you didn’t care about me anymore, I know now that it isn’t true and you do care, I just wish it had never happened) and even through my hissy fits(I really am sorry about those) then you know that nothing can change my love for you, though since the start of this past school year you’ve left me confused about what your feelings towards me are. No matter what they were just know that I want nothing more than for you to be happy. I did everything I could to try to keep you happy, maybe I wasn’t doing the right things, maybe it was my fault that you weren’t happy, if it was, I’m sorry. I just want you to know that I tried, even though I suffered for it, don’t let my pain be in vain. Be happy. And I never could thank you enough for being there for me when I thought that no one in the world gave a damn about me, and for being so sweet and tender when you were worried about me. I doubt you could have ever stopped my self destructive habits, but it helped to know that you were worried and that you cared. Hell, the fact that you noticed the bruises, (okay the fact that I trusted you enough to show you) helped a lot. I love you, you’ll always be my silly puppy.
Rachel, dear, sweet, oblivious, Rachel, no matter what happened between us, half of which you didn’t even notice, I still love you. Even though we didn’t talk much anymore and Jess was more important to you than I ever was, I just wanted you to be happy no matter what I had to go through for that. Just ask Danny about it, he can tell you everything. And about that, can’t you both just try to get over it and get along? For my sake, please? Or read my journal, you’ll know why I loved my corner in SAT prep so much, I felt safe for once. Like I said to Danny, all I want is your happiness, don’t grieve over me, be happy, I’d prefer it that way. Remember the good times we had, like prancing around knott’s berry farm with flowers in our hair or prancing around disneyland without a care in the world. Remember how nothing could ever come between us, at least during freshman year. Remember how it seemed like fate that we found each other? Well maybe fate is getting back at me now…
James, I love you sweetie. I wish that there could have been more between us but I guess it wasn’t meant to be. I just wanted to thank you for everything. Thank you for letting me cry in your arms, for the sweatshirt that meant so much, for being a friend…
Family, I’m sorry, for everything. I know that I could’ve been a better daughter, a better sister, and I’m sorry I wasn’t. Mom, I do love you, even though you did put me through hell, you know that I always loved you. Dad, thanks for everything you taught me and just for being the person you are. Felipe, I never really got to know you, Cynthia, for being there to kid around with when you were in a good mood, Carlos, for being the greatest big brother ever, I love you all.
Bebe
I’m sorry if that TMI or too long or anything but I guess it’s just something I needed to get out
Bebe