I really hate being sucked into threads like this.
Also, I’ve slept with the next three posters.
It wasn’t me
This thread has not made me laugh at all. I’m really quite bored with it already.
I do not want a cigarette right now. I did not quit last Friday. I would not give my left arm away for just one more. One more cigarette right now really wouldn’t hurt me. I’m sure I will be just fine. Thanks, but I don’t need any help at all.
I remember that time with Audrey quite fondly. 
“I did not have sex with that woman!”
My dick is even bigger than andygirl’s.
I could wrap my dick around both andygirl and Persephone with 24" to spare. My nottinghams are the size of bowling balls. That’s why I walk funny.
I’m offended that you would even THINK of offering me oral sex
…followed by beer and a pizza.
You want oral sex, followed by beer and pizza? But of course! I’m happy to oblige. Anytime. Really.
I did NOT go drinking last night.
I do NOT have a hangover.
Duke basketball SUCKS.
[sub]Boy, Mnementh, that last one IS hard to say![/sub]
I got laid last night.
Hell, I’ve been getting laid for the past six months!
::grumble::
Yuck.
I have never seen this thread before. I swear it.
I despise kitties, and all other cuddly, furry critters.
I love snakes. Love 'em, love 'em, love 'em!
I am a perfect mother.
I am a virgin.
[sub]::Wha–? What’s happening to my noooooose?::[/sub]
I truly despise Moi I wouldn’t even think of spending the rest of my life with her, for she is truly insufferable. She is not attractive in any way, nor witty, nor cute. I can’t imagine a worse fate than being shackled to her for all eternity. I wouldn’t even think about leaving this board and crawling into bed next to her un-sexy naked body. Nope. Not even for a minute. In fact I…oh wait, gotta go. Bye.
I have had wild, ferocious hot monkey sex every night for the last 6 months.
But I have absolutely never had cybersex.
I exercise regularly and always eat my vegetables.
I never ever drive too fast.
I’m going to stop and have sex with every male Doper on my move to NY, just so they can say they’ve had the pleasure of being with me.
And I won’t enjoy a minute of it.
I hate sex. It’s sooo boring. This is probably a good thing, since I haven’t had any in three years.
Of course, since I don’t waste any time or energy on sex, I can spend all of my time cleaning. My house is spotless, in fact, people set up tours just to see how beautiful and clean my house is.
Sorry I couldn’t say the same…I never believe in reciprocating oral favors…make the wimmens do all the work is my motto…
I hate to flirt. I’m horrible at it and would never dream of actually flirting with someone who flirts with me. And lurker thinks that me flirting on the board is a bad idea and that I should never, ever do it anyway.
There are no bright red koolaid splatters that look like archipelagos in the vast ocean of my kitchen floor.
Dust bunnies don’t stand a chance under my bed.
I have read every book in the house. None of my books are filmy with dust.
I never go near my computer. Not now, not ever.
Important message follows!