And so what if you didn’t see a sign, you doofus? It’s a museum, not a park. You can live without that snack for another half hour.
Fact of life, no matter what: people don’t read signs.
Now for the thing that always amazes me - the human ability to be aware of things without looking. Obviously it doesn’t always work, or I wouldn’t have broken my toe so many times, but see what happens when you wear a new ring. I always bump it on the underside of the table or desk, because I’m usually able to bring my hand out with that little clearance. Change it by a fraction of an inch and it bumps.
For me, sometimes I don’t see a sign because modern American life has become overloaded with visual clutter in the form of signs and directions and billboards and walking advertisements and other nonsense that even when I’m LOOKING for a sign to give me guidance, I don’t see it. I think for some people, they’ve stopped looking - they’ll just expect someone to tell them what they need to know.
Which leads me to my mystery I can’t understand - how these people don’t get run over by a bus every day.
What I also don’t understand is why people feel the need to touch things. See that artifact over there, behind that barrier? Yes, I know you can’t reach it. There’s a reason for this. It’s been under the ocean for nearly a hundred years. It is fragile. It is not very stable. You have oils in your fingers that can cause damage to artifacts like these. Yes, I know it’s metal. That doesn’t matter. You can still damage it. Fine, don’t believe me…but don’t be surprised when I sic conservation* on you. They will NOT be happy about this, believe me.
*Well, I’d be more likely to sic security on you, but conservation wouldn’t like it either, that’s for sure.
My algebra teacher told me that some people’s brains just aren’t wired for that kind of thinking and that it shouldn’t be a required subject. I failed it in high school, got a D in college and had to take it over because I couldn’t go further without a C average. I got a C- the third time and he passed me with a C so I wouldn’t be held back.
Why people don’t bother to check what they have written to spot the spelling errors and other mistakes. I’m referring to writing that is on public display, and that might actually be important.
They SAY they didn’t see a sign. Oh come now. Of course they saw the sign. They wanted to eat in the museum, and rationalized, “If I get caught, I’ll just tell them I didn’t see the sign!”
That makes sense when the creeper is the first in line, but most of the creepers I’ve noticed are the second or third or fourth car. They stop many feet from the car in front of them and then do the roll-stop-roll-stop thing as they creep up to the car in front of them.
Can I jump in here with an amen? Seriously, WTF? I thought this might be a perception problem so I did an experiment: I threw out all of my old white athletic socks and bought new ones. 3 of 3 different brands. I meticulously kept up with them, I sorted them before and after washing and now - 9 months later - 4 are missing! This shit has been going on for years. Where. The. Fuck. Do. Socks go?
What’s up with misplacing random thing and never seeing them agian or finding them several months later?
Several months ago, on seperate days, i decided i wanted a POP-TART and put the leftover in a baggie on the counter, then i got another tart and put it in the same baggie as the leftover POP-TART which i returned to the kitchen counter. I never saw those leftover POP-TARTs again… i don’t know what the hell happened to them.
I lost my mp3 player. I thought i put it in the top drawer of a plastic chest of drawers, but i haven’t seen it for almost two months. I know it came home with me, but i don’t know what happened after that. I’ve moved the bed, used a flashlight and it’s aggravating.
About 2 years ago I was getting dressed to go to work one day and I couldn’t find my money clip. Every night for the past, oh, 15 years or so I take my money clip out of my pants pocket and put it on my dresser as I get undressed. Every morning it’s there and goes into my pocket. This day, no money clip. I looked everywhere (not really, but you get the idea). In the car. In yesterday’s pants. On the kitchen counter. In the freezer (as per George Carlin). Etc. That sucker was gone.
Eventually, I replace my license, credit & ATM card, insurance card, get a new clip. Fast forward to about 2 months ago. We were cleaning out our closets to give stuff to Goodwill and I was trying on suits I haven’t worn in years. I put on a pair of suit pants, and guess what’s in the pocket? Yup- the money clip.
Now how the f did it get in there? I hadn’t had those pants on for about 5 years. One of those little mysteries.
Argh. When my wife and I were up in Chicago a couple weekends ago for the U2 show, we had gone to the Shedd Aquarium one afternoon and there were signs everywhere telling you not to take pictures with a flash. And yet about three quarters of the rubes walking around in there taking pictures had their flash on. I wanted to walk up to them and say “Do you need help figuring out how to turn your flash off?”
Another driving one that bugs me:
Why are people pulling out from a side street in a big damn hurry to pull out RIGHT IN FRONT of you, then putter along about 20 mph once they’ve cut you off?
Story problems? Holy crap! I had been getting A’s all along until the term we did story problems then I barely scraped a C. They make no sense – none at all.
Equally annoying is the unspoken but communal decision the world has apparently made that the absence of a sign is always an excuse for just about anything. I swear I hear people proclaiming their innocence on the basis of sign-absence on a daily basis. Always in that 'Well how was I supposed to know!" tone. Like “How was I supposed to figure out on my own that the museum wouldn’t want my greasy crumby food all over everything?”; “How was I supposed to know that my son shouldn’t piss in the reflection pool at the War Memorial? It’s not like there’s a sign!”
Anecdote: My sister, working at a daycare centre, finds a guy who has come to pick up his kid early smoking in the lunch room (as in, the room where 20 kids are eating lunch).
Her: Mr McNameface, you can’t smoke in here.
Him: Um, I don’t see a sign.
Dude, it’s a DAYCARE. There shouldn’t need to be a sign.
Meanwhile, in driving school a couple of days ago (I, at age 21, am finally learning to drive) the teacher, who is a cop here in Washington, told us that as long as you “enter” the intersection on a green, you can finish the turn on red, even if you’re just stopped waiting for a gap when it goes to red.
I went to the beach with friends, and can’t really believe I was daft enough to take my wallet out of the car and to the actual beach, but the wallet was never found (even when emptying the car to sell it) and the credit cards were never used. I had to replace everything.
My mother’s keys disappeared, and the toy chest and closet were pulled apart, but they were never found, even when cleaning out that house to sell it. The prevailing theory is that the 2-year old put them in the trash.
