Slate's unanswered questiions

I think that we’ve answered some of these questions in the past. Perhaps we should be the team of Oompa-Loompas who answer their questions. Does anyone want to tackle any of these questions?

It’s generally good form to bring as much possible back to the thread. Can you copy over the list of questions?

It’s a lot of questions:

  1. How many assassinations with high-powered rifles occur in a typical year? It seems like the number is slightly smaller than what the movies would have you believe.

  2. I haven’t sleep for two days if I keep going will I die. Sent from my iPad

  3. This is driving me crazy. In the vast majority of commercials for smartphones, the device displays the time 10:08. What gives? Is the number symbolic of something? Did they try to choose a time that has positive associations whether it is a.m. or p.m.? (10:08 is neither too early nor too late.)

  4. What is it with what I like to call “the pee-pee dance?” When one has a strong urge to urinate, one tends to bounce from one foot to the other. This is especially noticeable in children who love to wait until the last minute. I have found myself doing it occasionally when the button on my pants is especially hard to undo. Does the dance actually help? It must serve some function as it seems to be universal.

  5. Hello. If someone has an idea for a mixed drink complete with a catchy, cool name, could you make money off it? If yes, how?

  6. What’s the story behind the bleep sound that blocks out profanity on TV? Why not just make it silent, or a different sound?

  7. My question would have to be, what do hats have to do with wars, and political leaders?

  8. I’m a very nice guy, but I’m concerned that my sunglasses make me look like a badass when that’s not what I want to project. Why do black sunglasses tend to make people look that way?

  9. Why do the rich and famous always sunbathe topless?

  10. Can an identical twin who died at birth be his brother’s guardian angel?

  11. When and how did humankind figure out that sex is what causes babies? It’s not exactly the most obvious correlation: Sex doesn’t always lead to babies, and there’s a long lead time between the act and the consequence—weeks before there are even symptoms, usually. So roughly where do we think we were as we a species when it clicked?

  12. Why is it crazy people only ever hear voices telling them to do bad things, like kill people? Why don’t the voices ever tell them to do good things, like volunteer? Or does this happen, and we just assume said crazy people are normal, socially-conscious people?

  13. When did the last name McGee become such a common insult? And why? You can take most words and add “McGee” and it becomes a pretty good, stupid insult. For example, in Anchorman, Veronica Corningstone is introduced as “Tits McGee.”

  14. Why is the Titanic such a big deal compared to other shipwrecks?

  15. What is it called when you break a firecracker in half, light the powder, then stamp on it with your foot to make it explode?

  16. What is the greatest number of books that a person has ever read?

  17. Why do I smell peanut butter when I rub my eyes vigorously?

  18. Why do marmots drink anti-freeze? Someone told my wife they’ve been destroying cars to drink the anti-freeze in national park parking lots.

  19. Why can someone who has trouble seeing things up close go into any drugstore and pay $15 for a pair of glasses, while someone who has trouble seeing things far away has to go through the trouble and expense of getting an eye exam and buying prescription glasses? Why is the presbyopic public deemed competent to decide whether their lens prescription is a +1.25 or a +1.50 while their myopic brethren are thought to be unable to discern between a -1.25 and a -1.50 lens without the help of a medical professional?

  20. A friend and I have noticed that people’s little sisters are prettier! The little sister (in most cases we observe) seems to have softer features and they just seem generally more attractive than their older sisters. I’m not saying that this is ALWAYS the case, but is there any statistically significant observable phenomenon going on here?

  21. What is the deal with Bob Dylan and trains?

  22. Why is it that there are so many different types of cancer and tumors? What exactly is cancer? A lot of my family has died from some form of cancer, and why is it that there’s so many different types of cancer? They grow and they can spread, you can go through chemo or have surgery and hope it’s gone, but then—BAM—it comes back. Last year I had a tumor removed and I pray that it doesn’t grow back! It was a miracle that I graduated on time, the only reason I did was because I had awesome friends and teachers.

  23. I’m 50 and realize I haven’t had the hiccups in a very long time. When I was a kid, I would get them frequently. Is there something about hiccups that makes only young people get them?

  24. Of all the things in the world that humans produce in multiples, what thing has been replicated more time than any other? It’s probably some nut or bolt or something, but I just thought I would ask.

  25. Why do people consider bears as adorable animals, while everyone knows that they can attack humans severely?

  26. I’ve always wondered how other animals can safely clean their anuses with their tongues. Though I have not thoroughly experimented myself, my understanding is that fecal matter is poisonous to humans. Is there some fundamental misconception here, or is there a difference between humans and other animals in this way? Perhaps humans have become intolerant to fecal matter over long timescales.

  27. Is there any protection against someone with a stun gun? We know that it isn’t just good people that have them. Your help is much appreciated.

  28. Why do novels and even chapters in novels always begin with a quote (usually from a well-known and acclaimed piece of fiction)?

  29. What happened to the two straight lines through the S on the $? Why is it now just one?

  30. Has anyone ever actually used a falling chandelier to take someone out?

  31. Where did people store their papers before filing cabinets? Especially back in the days of letter writing. People must have had so many letters that they accumulated; where would they keep them all? Hat boxes?

  32. Why do people hate the sound of their own voice when they hear it in a recording?

  33. I would like to know why is Disneyland the happiest place on Earth to some people, but not others?

  34. How long could a lactating woman survive drinking her own breast milk?

  35. Why do so many Arab men seem to wear track suits, at least those who are not in traditional garb? I was watching the atrocities in Syria and just about all men were wearing them.

  36. Why do marmots drink anti-freeze? Someone told my wife they’ve been destroying cars to drink the anti-freeze in national park parking lots.

I have printed this out and posted it on the bulletin board in the office. Already I have noticed a duplication in marmot-related inquiries.

  1. How many assassinations with high-powered rifles occur in a typical year? It seems like the number is slightly smaller than what the movies would have you believe.

The illuminati who hire these killers also do a good job of covering them up and making them look like heart attacks, so we’ll never know.

  1. I haven’t sleep for two days if I keep going will I die. Sent from my iPad

**Yes. **

  1. This is driving me crazy. In the vast majority of commercials for smartphones, the device displays the time 10:08. What gives? Is the number symbolic of something? Did they try to choose a time that has positive associations whether it is a.m. or p.m.? (10:08 is neither too early nor too late.)

**10:08 was the minute (either A.M. or P.M., we aren’t sure) the earth was created by The Lord Our Heavenly Father. **

  1. What is it with what I like to call “the pee-pee dance?” When one has a strong urge to urinate, one tends to bounce from one foot to the other. This is especially noticeable in children who love to wait until the last minute. I have found myself doing it occasionally when the button on my pants is especially hard to undo. Does the dance actually help? It must serve some function as it seems to be universal.

**Same reason you get piss shivers. **

  1. Hello. If someone has an idea for a mixed drink complete with a catchy, cool name, could you make money off it? If yes, how?

Yes, send me your idea and I’ll be sure to make money off of it.

  1. What’s the story behind the bleep sound that blocks out profanity on TV? Why not just make it silent, or a different sound?

**It was going to be a weernt sound but that was already copyrighted. **

  1. My question would have to be, what do hats have to do with wars, and political leaders?

**They cover up bald spots. **

  1. I’m a very nice guy, but I’m concerned that my sunglasses make me look like a badass when that’s not what I want to project. Why do black sunglasses tend to make people look that way?

**They don’t. You are obviously full of yourself. **

  1. Why do the rich and famous always sunbathe topless?

Why do you always beat your wife?

  1. Can an identical twin who died at birth be his brother’s guardian angel?

Only if he was conceived in a loving, Christian marriage. Otherwise he’s too busy burning in hell.

  1. When and how did humankind figure out that sex is what causes babies? It’s not exactly the most obvious correlation: Sex doesn’t always lead to babies, and there’s a long lead time between the act and the consequence—weeks before there are even symptoms, usually. So roughly where do we think we were as we a species when it clicked?

The stork brings babies. What’s sex?

  1. Why is it crazy people only ever hear voices telling them to do bad things, like kill people? Why don’t the voices ever tell them to do good things, like volunteer? Or does this happen, and we just assume said crazy people are normal, socially-conscious people?

**Because the CIA thinks its funny. **

  1. When did the last name McGee become such a common insult? And why? You can take most words and add “McGee” and it becomes a pretty good, stupid insult. For example, in Anchorman, Veronica Corningstone is introduced as “Tits McGee.”

Probably when Oldjoke McGee was born.

  1. Why is the Titanic such a big deal compared to other shipwrecks?

Celine Dion.

  1. What is it called when you break a firecracker in half, light the powder, then stamp on it with your foot to make it explode?

Jack Ass the Movie part 4.

  1. What is the greatest number of books that a person has ever read?

None. No one has yet to successfully read a book, at least officially.

  1. Why do I smell peanut butter when I rub my eyes vigorously?

Stop rubbing it on your hands before you rub your eyes.

  1. Why do marmots drink anti-freeze? Someone told my wife they’ve been destroying cars to drink the anti-freeze in national park parking lots.

Anti-Freeze is made from marmot urine, a potent aphrodisiac for them.

  1. Why can someone who has trouble seeing things up close go into any drugstore and pay $15 for a pair of glasses, while someone who has trouble seeing things far away has to go through the trouble and expense of getting an eye exam and buying prescription glasses? Why is the presbyopic public deemed competent to decide whether their lens prescription is a +1.25 or a +1.50 while their myopic brethren are thought to be unable to discern between a -1.25 and a -1.50 lens without the help of a medical professional?

Lobbyists. And communists, too… probably.

  1. A friend and I have noticed that people’s little sisters are prettier! The little sister (in most cases we observe) seems to have softer features and they just seem generally more attractive than their older sisters. I’m not saying that this is ALWAYS the case, but is there any statistically significant observable phenomenon going on here?

That hurts! sobs

  1. What is the deal with Bob Dylan and trains?

Dylan is a musician and trains are a type of transportation. Glad I could help clear that up.

  1. Why is it that there are so many different types of cancer and tumors? What exactly is cancer? A lot of my family has died from some form of cancer, and why is it that there’s so many different types of cancer? They grow and they can spread, you can go through chemo or have surgery and hope it’s gone, but then—BAM—it comes back. Last year I had a tumor removed and I pray that it doesn’t grow back! It was a miracle that I graduated on time, the only reason I did was because I had awesome friends and teachers.

Cancer is God’s way of having a little fun with us and testing our faith, or something.

  1. I’m 50 and realize I haven’t had the hiccups in a very long time. When I was a kid, I would get them frequently. Is there something about hiccups that makes only young people get them?

**No. Hiccups McGee has had them all his life. **

  1. Of all the things in the world that humans produce in multiples, what thing has been replicated more time than any other? It’s probably some nut or bolt or something, but I just thought I would ask.

Dumb questions.

  1. Why do people consider bears as adorable animals, while everyone knows that they can attack humans severely?

The real question is why bears don’t consider us to be adorable. Look at us!

  1. I’ve always wondered how other animals can safely clean their anuses with their tongues. Though I have not thoroughly experimented myself, my understanding is that fecal matter is poisonous to humans. Is there some fundamental misconception here, or is there a difference between humans and other animals in this way? Perhaps humans have become intolerant to fecal matter over long timescales.

Here, I think you’ll find these German videos VERY educational.

  1. Is there any protection against someone with a stun gun? We know that it isn’t just good people that have them. Your help is much appreciated.

A bigger, nastier gun. This is actually the right answer to nearly any question ever asked.

  1. Why do novels and even chapters in novels always begin with a quote (usually from a well-known and acclaimed piece of fiction)?

"There is nothing new under the sun." -Ecclesiastes 1:9

  1. What happened to the two straight lines through the S on the $? Why is it now just one?

**The Bilderberg Group finally usurped the Illuminati back in 1893, thus reducing it from 2 ll’s (From the word Illuminati), to just one l (for the one L in Bilderberg). **

  1. Has anyone ever actually used a falling chandelier to take someone out?

**What an insensitive question. Considering that chandelier mishaps account for some 87% of preventable deaths, you are way out of line here. **

  1. Where did people store their papers before filing cabinets? Especially back in the days of letter writing. People must have had so many letters that they accumulated; where would they keep them all? Hat boxes?

Hats weren’t invented until long after filing cabinets. What kind of moronic, half-assed guess was that?

  1. Why do people hate the sound of their own voice when they hear it in a recording?

That’s just you and your lousy self esteem.

  1. I would like to know why is Disneyland the happiest place on Earth to some people, but not others?

Some people have discovered a little substance known as "weed."

  1. How long could a lactating woman survive drinking her own breast milk?

Not very long if she has also been shot in the head.

  1. Why do so many Arab men seem to wear track suits, at least those who are not in traditional garb? I was watching the atrocities in Syria and just about all men were wearing them.

**Why do you assume everyone in Syria is an Arab? **

  1. Why do marmots drink anti-freeze? Someone told my wife they’ve been destroying cars to drink the anti-freeze in national park parking lots.

Marmots are fucking useless pieces of shite, that’s why. Fucking wankers.

… I am now wondering if someone’s Autocorrect substituted “marmot” for “mammoth,” and if those two questions were submitted soon after the unfortuante attempt at re-introducing the genetically restored mammoths to Yellowstone.

I know the answer to the “Why do crazy people only hear voices telling them to do bad things?” question.

The answer is that crazy people don’t hear voices; in real life, this is extremely rare, even among the mentally disturbed. In fact, many mental health questionaires use this as a trick question to catch people who are trying to fake insanity, because it’s such a common fallacy.

I can actually answer one of those questions, correctly even!

Your voice sounds odd to you when you hear a recording of yourself because your skull vibrates and resonates as you form words or sing or gargle etc. Your ear picks up these vibes and you “hear” them, for the most part no one and nothing else does. This is the general idea, reality is a bit more complicated. This is why the woman with the really annoying screechy voice can stand to hear herself talk, it doesn’t sound that way to her :stuck_out_tongue:

Capt

4. What is it with what I like to call “the pee-pee dance?” When one has a strong urge to urinate, one tends to bounce from one foot to the other. This is especially noticeable in children who love to wait until the last minute. I have found myself doing it occasionally when the button on my pants is especially hard to undo. Does the dance actually help? It must serve some function as it seems to be universal.

I’d imagine it has something to do with the motion of the muscles in the groin and lower abdomen, probably relieving pressure on the bladder for fractions of a second. But maybe not, since I tend to jiggle my foot rather than bouncing from one to the other and it does the same thing. Maybe it just sloshes things around ad makes you feel less full.

14. Why is the Titanic such a big deal compared to other shipwrecks?

The ship was a big deal even before it set sail, the ship was touted as “unsinkable”, and the catastrophe was preventable. So it’s a combination of fame, irony, and righteous indignation.

15. What is it called when you break a firecracker in half, light the powder, then stamp on it with your foot to make it explode?

Stupid, and probably testosterone-fueled :stuck_out_tongue:

  1. Yes. Fatal Insomnia (both famial and sporadic)
  2. No. Recipes are not patentable or copyrightable
  3. Due to paparazzi I think this is a result of confirmation bias.
  4. Crazy - by definition - means outside the norm. Killing people is more obviously not normal while volunteering is not.
  5. Fibber McGee and Molly. “T’aint funny McGee”
  6. It is very sweet. Cats do this too.
  7. Space. Most people cannot figure out how to do the two lines in the space provided by the S
  8. Producing milk burns calories so a rough estimate would be D=days until death by starvation; C=calories consuming milk, P=calories producing milk. A woman would survive (C/P)D or less than if she were not lactating.

We’re kind of stupid that way.

Can’t be silent because they’re trying to communicate that something is missing. One sound is as good as another.

They give the impression that you don’t want to be identified, and they also dehumanize your face to an extent.

They have access to private beaches. Unfortunately for them, the paparazzi have access to hi-power zoom lenses.

My wife suggests that while those who know them will likely think them to be nuts, they are unlikely to aquire widespread notoriety.

Lots of rich and famous people on it, and it occured at the dawn of the radio age.

Less exotically, dogs and cats are also attracted to anti-freeze, and sometimes die from drinking it.

Possibly because people don’t use them as much.

People’s voices resonate better when they hear them through their head.

If she had nothing to drink she would stop producing it pretty quickly.

No. Dead humans, even if they’re children, do not evolve into angels. They become resurrected humans or ‘saints’ in heaven. The confusion comes from the gospels where Jesus gives a teaching on resurrection and how we become like angels. Like angels, not actually become angels.
*Mark 12:25, New Revised Standard Version (NRSV) – 25 For when they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. *

So, it’s different species of beings. Deceased children no more become angels in heaven than deceased puppies become astral cats.

But “cool, catchy names” are trademarkable.

Anyone can mix lemonade with malt liquor. But only Mike can make Mike’s Hard Lemonade brand malt liquor drink.

Folk singers back in the thirties used to sing songs about the hobos who rode around the country by stowing away on trains. Dylan was inspired by these earlier folk singers so he was drawn to the subject.

Panels of cubbyholes - like this. (Or this one showing a bunch of “filed” scrolls.)

**3. This is driving me crazy. In the vast majority of commercials for smartphones, the device displays the time 10:08. **

A brief image search shows the it’s popular but not the ‘vast majority’ and it’s pretty clearly all the same app. Stock image of the weather app in use and composite photos of smart phones? Coincidence and confirmation bias.

6. What’s the story behind the bleep sound that blocks out profanity on TV? Why not just make it silent, or a different sound?

It makes it obvious the word has been removed, silence could be a technical glitch which looks bad. Modern shows do use other sounds but, before digitally recorded sounds, the beep was easy to generate.

9. Why do the rich and famous always sunbathe topless?

Confirmation bias. Plus, why wouldn’t they?

18. Why do marmots drink anti-freeze? Someone told my wife they’ve been destroying cars to drink the anti-freeze in national park parking lots.

It tastes nice.

24. Of all the things in the world that humans produce in multiples, what thing has been replicated more time than any other? It’s probably some nut or bolt or something, but I just thought I would ask.

Possibly some piece of electronic equipment (capacitor, resistor). Or possible ‘grains of rice’. Dunno.

27. Is there any protection against someone with a stun gun? We know that it isn’t just good people that have them. Your help is much appreciated.
Stun guns generally penetrate clothing, I suppose if your clothing offered a better electrical path then the jolt would be lessened. Alternatively any fabric that prevents the gun from connecting with the skin layered over something solidly insulating.

28. Why do novels and even chapters in novels always begin with a quote (usually from a well-known and acclaimed piece of fiction)?

'cos everyone else does it. And they don’t always.

29. What happened to the two straight lines through the S on the $? Why is it now just one?

Printing presses, too easy for the line to become one.

Relevant web comic.

In fact, a “cuckoo” sound was popular for awhile, inspired by a series of Persona razor ads.

  1. It is very sweet. Cats do this too.
    [/QUOTE]

Cats?
That does not make sense. Cats lost the ability to taste sweetness during their evolution, so they are not attracted to sweet things.