Stupid questions to ask yourself for fun....

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
#1

Stupid Questions To Ask Yourself

(lets answer and see how much fun we can have with these)

  1. How many ducks would it take to equal the weight of an average human? 

  2. Why do mice always choose to run across the room in the middle of good TV shows, and never during the commercials? 

  3. Why do you only slip and fall when carrying fragile things? 

  4. Why does the buttered side of the toast always land on the floor? 

  5. Why do you only go out for spaghetti while wearing a white shirt? 

  6. Why doesn't cable TV show anything good? 

  7. Why do you only crave fast food AFTER the restaurant has closed for the night? 

  8. Why do some people type "cool" as "kewl?" 

  9. Why are you reading this page?

  10. Why are baby predators cuter than baby harmless creatures?

  11. Why can I never find my book after setting it down for twenty seconds?

  12. Why is there no good and cheap Macintosh software readily available?

  13. Why wasn’t I born rich?

  14. Why is Baywatch so popular, if nobody I know ever watches it?

                           Your Answers:

:confused: :dubious: :stuck_out_tongue:

#2
  1. What kind of duck?
  2. They don’t mean to be rude; they just prefer the commercials. (Mice have short attention spans.)
  3. Speak for yourself. I can fall carrying absolutely nothing.
  4. It’s heavier.
  5. Even those not brave (or foolish) enough to go bungee jumping need a thrill of danger every once in a while.
  6. It’s not cable TV, it’s just TV. TV is neither rare or well-done; it’s a medium medium.
  7. Ever read Aesop’s “The Fox and the Grapes”? Me neither.
  8. I don’t know, but they sure didn’t learn that in schewl.
  9. I’m hopelessly attracted to anything that promises to be a complete waste of time.
  10. Um … you’re on your own on that one, Lady.
  11. Ever hear of the Borrowers?
  12. It’s all about market share, baby.
  13. Probably because your parents weren’t rich.
  14. Nobody you know admits to watching it, you mean.
#3

OK, my turn: The lady with the most what?
Cats? Cash? Coolness? Cube root equations in her head? Calabash trees in her yard?

I must know!

#4

I haven’t figured that out yet, but I am working on it, maybe the most stupid questions to ask you nice people…LOL

#5
  1. How many ducks would it take to equal the weight of an average human?

74839448789793 ducks

  1. Why do mice always choose to run across the room in the middle of good TV shows, and never during the commercials?

They belong to the “let’s make the human miss half of his t.v. show because he’s going to be distracted by fury little creatures running around” union

  1. Why do you only slip and fall when carrying fragile things?

What do you mean “you”. I’m not a klutz.

  1. Why does the buttered side of the toast always land on the floor?

Because it’s heavier on the side with butter.

  1. Why do you only go out for spaghetti while wearing a white shirt?

Again… “you”? I for one, don’t wear white. Ever.

  1. Why doesn’t cable TV show anything good?

Because it’s time to get satellite

  1. Why do you only crave fast food AFTER the restaurant has closed for the night?

Really? Last time I checked, in my area, Wendy’s was open until 4am, so I can “Eat great, even late!”

  1. Why do some people type “cool” as “kewl?”

Because they’re giggly high school teenage girls who think spelling everthing wrong is cool. It is not kewl at all.

  1. Why are you reading this page?

Because god forbid I find something productive to be doing.

  1. Why are baby predators cuter than baby harmless creatures?

So you’ll go near it, give it a pet and it bites your hand off.

  1. Why can I never find my book after setting it down for twenty seconds?

Once again… “you”? I usually set aside time to read a whole book if I feel like reading. None of the whole “Read for half an hour before bed” crap. Nope. One book, read all the way through.

  1. Why is there no good and cheap Macintosh software readily available?

Two words. Bill Gates

  1. Why wasn’t I born rich?

Your parents were poor.

  1. Why is Baywatch so popular, if nobody I know ever watches it?

Other more popular t.v. shows use them as the butt of their jokes.

#6
  1. How many ducks would it take to equal the weight of an average human?

With or without feathers?

  1. Why do mice always choose to run across the room in the middle of good TV shows, and never during the commercials?

They’re watching for the glazed look and the slightly opened mouth, which indicates the human is in a trance.

  1. Why do you only slip and fall when carrying fragile things?

Darn shoelaces, anyway.

  1. Why does the buttered side of the toast always land on the floor?

Floors are magnetized to attract butter, just like ditches are magnetized to attract my car in the winter.

  1. Why do you only go out for spaghetti while wearing a white shirt?

I never go out for spaghetti. I eat that at home, and I change my white shirt to a red one first.

  1. Why doesn’t cable TV show anything good?

How can you say that? If USA has “Monk”, then anything is possible!

  1. Why do you only crave fast food AFTER the restaurant has closed for the night?

I’m making up for not having cravings when I was pregnant.

  1. Why do some people type “cool” as “kewl?”

I 4get. Maybe sumwun else will know the anser 2 this.

  1. Why are you reading this page?

Because I already read the last page of the internet and I’m starting over with the SDMB.

  1. Why are baby predators cuter than baby harmless creatures?

All babies are predators, and they are all cute so that their parents don’t murder them.

  1. Why can I never find my book after setting it down for twenty seconds?

Read “The Case of the Disappearing Book” for the answer.

  1. Why is there no good and cheap Macintosh software readily available?

Because Granny Smith thought the Macintosh was Delicious, so she enlisted a Northern Spy to design more software for it. Unfortunately, the Northern Spy’s name was Bill Gates.

  1. Why wasn’t I born rich?

Don’t tell anyone, but the doctor swiped your silver spoon when you were born. I hear he has a huge collection of mismatched spoons now.

  1. Why is Baywatch so popular, if nobody I know ever watches it?

Bay-WHAT?

#7 
  1. How many ducks would it take to equal the weight of an average human?

Average human 70 ducks. Calista Flockhart 2.

  1. Why do mice always choose to run across the room in the middle of good TV shows, and never during the commercials?

'Cause they need to get to the fridge before yu get up and open the door during commercial time.

  1. Why do you only slip and fall when carrying fragile things?

Same reason I spill coffee on myself when I’m wearing brand new pants.

  1. Why does the buttered side of the toast always land on the floor?

It’s not strapped to a cat’s back.

  1. Why do you only go out for spaghetti while wearing a white shirt?

To give me an excuse to wear a bibi in public.

  1. Why doesn't cable TV show anything good?

Part of the Bookmobile Driver’s evil plot.

  1. Why do you only crave fast food AFTER the restaurant has closed for the night?

Because I was so engrossed in watching mice run in front of the screen during the cable TV re-runs of Baywatch, I forgot to eat dinner.

  1. Why do some people type "cool" as "kewl?"

No idea. I write it “kuhl.”

  1. Why are you reading this page?

Voices told me to.

  1. Why are baby predators cuter than baby harmless creatures?

Baby harmelss creature use “ew! gross – that’s way to ugly to eat!” as a natural defense.

  1. Why can I never find my book after setting it down for twenty seconds?

The mice move it.

  1. Why is there no good and cheap Macintosh software readily available?

Why are there no cheap Macs available?

  1. Why wasn’t I born rich?

Your parents had a lousy portfolio.

  1. Why is Baywatch so popular, if nobody I know ever watches it?

Maybe you only know a few people (the imaginary ones don’t count, dude.)

#8
  1. How many ducks would it take to equal the weight of an average human?

One. But he has to be very fat.

#9
  1. Why do you only slip and fall when carrying fragile things?

Carrying fragile things makes me nervous. My carrying is accompanied with crashing sounds, flinching images of broken goods, whatever. Sooner or later, it happens.

  1. Why is Baywatch so popular, if nobody I know ever watches it?

Dark matter. It buys, it breeds, it watches TV.

#10 
  1. How many ducks would it take to equal the weight of an average human?

Depends on the weight of each individual duck… oh heck, 47. That’s my all-purpose answer.

  1. Why do mice always choose to run across the room in the middle of good TV shows, and never during the commercials?

47… er, I mean… what’s the fun of running across the room when the commercials are on? The human is gone to the refrigerator and there is no one to scare!

  1. Why do you only slip and fall when carrying fragile things?

I actually slip and fall all the darn time; it appears you are luckier, or perhaps just less clumsy, than I am.

  1. Why does the buttered side of the toast always land on the floor?

In ye old Faerie Tale “The Butter And The Floor”, the butter and the floor were long-lost lovers, destined to reunite every Tuesday, or every time one of the glasses in your house is turned upside down, or whenever they feel like it.

  1. Why do you only go out for spaghetti while wearing a white shirt?

Because I don’t own a tye-dyeing kit and spaghetti sauce spatters are the closest I can get to crafting my own tie-dyed creations!

  1. Why doesn't cable TV show anything good?

To force people to buy satellite, which stops working when it rains, when it’s foggy, when your dog sneezes, or when you inhale, or whenever else it feels like it. This causes frustration, which in turn causes people to turn off the TV and go to bed.
7. Why do you only crave fast food AFTER the restaurant has closed for the night?
Because I work until 10:30 every night and by the time I can legitimately crave fast food the restaurants are closed anyway. :frowning: BOO HOO!!!

  1. Why do some people type "cool" as "kewl?"

LyK, I DuNnO! CuZ itZ Seeeeeewwww KEWLIEZ?!?!! LOL!!1

  1. Why are you reading this page?

I am not! It’s the page that’s reading me! ;D ;D ;D… Oh dear that was lame.

  1. Why are baby predators cuter than baby harmless creatures?
    AW OOK A DA WIDDWE PWEDATOW!! AWW! OOS WIDDWE PWEDATOW IS OO? Er, sorry about that. Probably because they can later grow up and kill everyone who googoos annoyingly at them like I just did.

  2. Why can I never find my book after setting it down for twenty seconds?
    Books have a mechanism in them that enables them to mobilise and run around after being stationary for a while. This forces their readers to get up and look for them, ensuring that avid readers get their much-needed exercise.

  3. Why is there no good and cheap Macintosh software readily available?
    To ensure that only the most dedicated will own Macs. It’s sort of a screening process; a virtual velvet rope.

  4. Why wasn’t I born rich?
    Because you weren’t born with any pockets to put money in.

  5. Why is Baywatch so popular, if nobody I know ever watches it?
    Because there are girls with boobs who run in bathingsuits. Sidenote: I got a Baywatch sticker from a vending machine a couple of weeks ago when I was trying for a kitty sticker. I carry it in my purse to laugh at.

Hehe, well, that was fun. :smiley:

#11
#12
  1. How many ducks would it take to equal the weight of an average human?

See above by Trigonal Planar, who is quicker than I am.

  1. Why do mice always choose to run across the room in the middle of good TV shows, and never during the commercials?

And how did they get my cats to join the conspiracy?

  1. Why do you only slip and fall when carrying fragile things?

I don’t. I’m perfectlty capable of slipping & falling when carrying nothing.

  1. Why does the buttered side of the toast always land on the floor?

Why does it also work that way with peanut butter?

  1. Why do you only go out for spaghetti while wearing a white shirt?

Substitute “favorite” for “white.” The mystery remains.

  1. Why doesn’t cable TV show anything good?

So that there will be a few anachronists like me around who don’t have cable.

  1. Why do you only crave fast food AFTER the restaurant has closed for the night?

It’s a self-protection mechanism.

  1. Why do some people type “cool” as “kewl?”

They need to mask their true feelings behind a facade of ironic hipness. Sad, really.

  1. Why are you reading this page?

I like your name.

  1. Why are baby predators cuter than baby harmless creatures?

It’s the easiest way for them to suck us in & sharpen their teeth on our fingers.

  1. Why can I never find my book after setting it down for twenty seconds?

Chameleon-like, it immediately blends in with all the other books.

  1. Why is there no good and cheap Macintosh software readily available?

Damfino.

  1. Why wasn’t I born rich?

How do I know that you weren’t? Not that it matters, it’s not about the money… :wink:

  1. Why is Baywatch so popular, if nobody I know ever watches it?

You just don’t know enough people. Yes, they’re probably the wrong sort. Well, you asked… :slight_smile:

#13

  1. 30 ducks. I’m figuring 5 pounds a duck (guess) and 150 pounds for a person.

  2. I have never seen a mouse run in front of my tv screen. We used to have a chipmunk that lived in the organ, though.

  3. Fate is unkind.

  4. The buttered side is heavier, and tends to flip downwards during the toast’s descent due to the laws of gravity and aerodynamics. It’s no biggie. I’d throw the toast out even if it landed on the unbuttered side. My floors are scary.

  5. When I had to wear a shirt-and-tie I found myself eating at pasta places for lunch approximately 5 times a week. Dress shirts are usually white. Order the fettucini alfredo.

  6. Remember the promise of cable? They all said there would be no commercials because, natch, the service was paid for by the viewer. They lied to us. This was the beginning of the end of my innocence.

  7. Wendy’s is open till 1:00, I think. As is Taco Bell, IIRC. McDonald’s is open till midnight. What kind of hours are you keeping, anyway?

  8. Fate is unkind.

  9. I’m reading this page (and typing poorly formatted stream-of-consciousness responses) because I have no life. Friday night, and I’m killing time till bedtime. Whee for me.

  10. Baby predators … lion cubs, minnow-sized piranha, tadpole shark, squirmy alligator lizardlings …vs… baby harmless creatures … koala cublets … little bitty kittens … puppy-dogs … tiny pink mice with their incredibly delicate little fingers and toes… I’m thinking actually, you’re mistaken. Baby harmless creatures are, in fact, cuter.

  11. You’re suffering the cumulative loss of the brain cells that die each day, and aren’t replaced. It gets worse. Trust me.

  12. What, you don’t like AppleWorks? It’s all you need, really.

  13. Fate is unkind.

  14. B()()BS. Your friends don’t watch it because they have actual porn.

#14

If I admit I’m in denial, does that mean I’m not in it anymore? Is it like a quandary?

#15 
  1. How many ducks would it take to equal the weight of an average human? 30

  2. Why do mice always choose to run across the room in the middle of good TV shows, and never during the commercials? Timing.

  3. Why do you only slip and fall when carrying fragile things? I do not slip or fall.  I plant my behind in the ground, and upon noticing a lack of root structure, move on with my life.

  4. Why does the buttered side of the toast always land on the floor? Neither do I drop buttered toast (as I don't eat toast).

  5. Why do you only go out for spaghetti while wearing a white shirt? I don't go out for spaghetti.  Man, these are easy to answer:D

  6. Why doesn't cable TV show anything good? ESPN is my lord and personal savior (well, after **Bigguron**, that is).  TBS is a close third.

  7. Why do you only crave fast food AFTER the restaurant has closed for the night? I have a fridge.  It can hold fast food.  And my cravings are more general ("meat!" ... well, actually more "CHICKEN!" ... "HOT DOGS!" ... "RAMEN!")

  8. Why do some people type "cool" as "kewl?" 83c4u53 7h3y 4r3 1337 h4XX0r5.

  9. Why are you reading this page? Because I am impossible bored and this is the one thread in MPSIMS I hadn't read;)

  10. Why are baby predators cuter than baby harmless creatures? Nobody’s gonna eat a cute little baby, are they? But what’s the harm in eating that ugly thing there?

  11. Why can I never find my book after setting it down for twenty seconds? Short attention span.

  12. Why is there no good and cheap Macintosh software readily available? Good, cheap and Macintosh. Pick 2.

  13. Why wasn’t I born rich? Because you were born Rose.

  14. Why is Baywatch so popular, if nobody I know ever watches it? It isn’t “so popular” anymore, dear;)

#16

Because.

#17

I’m going to answer BEFORE I read everyone elses… I’m interestedt o see if I respond the same as anyone else.

  1. How many ducks would it take to equal the weight of an average human?

Live ducks or pressure cooked?

  1. Why do mice always choose to run across the room in the middle of good TV shows, and never during the commercials?

Because mice like to watch the commercials.

  1. Why do you only slip and fall when carrying fragile things?

Because your brain subconcisusly likes the crashing sounds.

  1. Why does the buttered side of the toast always land on the floor?

Because it’s taped to the zero-gravity cat.

  1. Why do you only go out for spaghetti while wearing a white shirt?

Pass. I never go out for spaghetti.

  1. Why doesn't cable TV show anything good?

Because it is cable TV (Hint: This is the reason I don’t have cable TV. I’ve got satellite)

  1. Why do you only crave fast food AFTER the restaurant has closed for the night?

Pass: I can’t stand fast food.

  1. Why do some people type "cool" as "kewl?"

Because they are idiots.

  1. Why are you reading this page?

Because I’m an idiot.

  1. Why are baby predators cuter than baby harmless creatures?

I didn’t know naked mole rats were predators.

  1. Why can I never find my book after setting it down for twenty seconds?

The mice moved while you were watching Friends.

  1. Why is there no good and cheap Macintosh software readily available?

Because Apples are trendy.

  1. Why wasn’t I born rich?

Because your parents aren’t rich.

  1. Why is Baywatch so popular, if nobody I know ever watches it?

Because no one will ever admit to watching Baywatch.

#18

Opps. The answer to 11 should be “moved IT”