How many ducks would it take to equal the weight of an average human?
74839448789793 ducks
Why do mice always choose to run across the room in the middle of good TV shows, and never during the commercials?
They belong to the “let’s make the human miss half of his t.v. show because he’s going to be distracted by fury little creatures running around” union
Why do you only slip and fall when carrying fragile things?
What do you mean “you”. I’m not a klutz.
Why does the buttered side of the toast always land on the floor?
Because it’s heavier on the side with butter.
Why do you only go out for spaghetti while wearing a white shirt?
Again… “you”? I for one, don’t wear white. Ever.
Why doesn’t cable TV show anything good?
Because it’s time to get satellite
Why do you only crave fast food AFTER the restaurant has closed for the night?
Really? Last time I checked, in my area, Wendy’s was open until 4am, so I can “Eat great, even late!”
Why do some people type “cool” as “kewl?”
Because they’re giggly high school teenage girls who think spelling everthing wrong is cool. It is not kewl at all.
Why are you reading this page?
Because god forbid I find something productive to be doing.
Why are baby predators cuter than baby harmless creatures?
So you’ll go near it, give it a pet and it bites your hand off.
Why can I never find my book after setting it down for twenty seconds?
Once again… “you”? I usually set aside time to read a whole book if I feel like reading. None of the whole “Read for half an hour before bed” crap. Nope. One book, read all the way through.
Why is there no good and cheap Macintosh software readily available?
Two words. Bill Gates
Why wasn’t I born rich?
Your parents were poor.
Why is Baywatch so popular, if nobody I know ever watches it?
Other more popular t.v. shows use them as the butt of their jokes.
Why are baby predators cuter than baby harmless creatures?
All babies are predators, and they are all cute so that their parents don’t murder them.
Why can I never find my book after setting it down for twenty seconds?
Read “The Case of the Disappearing Book” for the answer.
Why is there no good and cheap Macintosh software readily available?
Because Granny Smith thought the Macintosh was Delicious, so she enlisted a Northern Spy to design more software for it. Unfortunately, the Northern Spy’s name was Bill Gates.
Why wasn’t I born rich?
Don’t tell anyone, but the doctor swiped your silver spoon when you were born. I hear he has a huge collection of mismatched spoons now.
Why is Baywatch so popular, if nobody I know ever watches it?
Why do you only slip and fall when carrying fragile things?
Carrying fragile things makes me nervous. My carrying is accompanied with crashing sounds, flinching images of broken goods, whatever. Sooner or later, it happens.
Why is Baywatch so popular, if nobody I know ever watches it?
How many ducks would it take to equal the weight of an average human?
Depends on the weight of each individual duck… oh heck, 47. That’s my all-purpose answer.
Why do mice always choose to run across the room in the middle of good TV shows, and never during the commercials?
47… er, I mean… what’s the fun of running across the room when the commercials are on? The human is gone to the refrigerator and there is no one to scare!
Why do you only slip and fall when carrying fragile things?
I actually slip and fall all the darn time; it appears you are luckier, or perhaps just less clumsy, than I am.
Why does the buttered side of the toast always land on the floor?
In ye old Faerie Tale “The Butter And The Floor”, the butter and the floor were long-lost lovers, destined to reunite every Tuesday, or every time one of the glasses in your house is turned upside down, or whenever they feel like it.
Why do you only go out for spaghetti while wearing a white shirt?
Because I don’t own a tye-dyeing kit and spaghetti sauce spatters are the closest I can get to crafting my own tie-dyed creations!
Why doesn't cable TV show anything good?
To force people to buy satellite, which stops working when it rains, when it’s foggy, when your dog sneezes, or when you inhale, or whenever else it feels like it. This causes frustration, which in turn causes people to turn off the TV and go to bed.
7. Why do you only crave fast food AFTER the restaurant has closed for the night?
Because I work until 10:30 every night and by the time I can legitimately crave fast food the restaurants are closed anyway. BOO HOO!!!
Why do some people type "cool" as "kewl?"
LyK, I DuNnO! CuZ itZ Seeeeeewwww KEWLIEZ?!?!! LOL!!1
Why are you reading this page?
I am not! It’s the page that’s reading me! ;D ;D ;D… Oh dear that was lame.
Why are baby predators cuter than baby harmless creatures?
AW OOK A DA WIDDWE PWEDATOW!! AWW! OOS WIDDWE PWEDATOW IS OO? Er, sorry about that. Probably because they can later grow up and kill everyone who googoos annoyingly at them like I just did.
Why can I never find my book after setting it down for twenty seconds?
Books have a mechanism in them that enables them to mobilise and run around after being stationary for a while. This forces their readers to get up and look for them, ensuring that avid readers get their much-needed exercise.
Why is there no good and cheap Macintosh software readily available?
To ensure that only the most dedicated will own Macs. It’s sort of a screening process; a virtual velvet rope.
Why wasn’t I born rich?
Because you weren’t born with any pockets to put money in.
Why is Baywatch so popular, if nobody I know ever watches it?
Because there are girls with boobs who run in bathingsuits. Sidenote: I got a Baywatch sticker from a vending machine a couple of weeks ago when I was trying for a kitty sticker. I carry it in my purse to laugh at.
30 ducks. I’m figuring 5 pounds a duck (guess) and 150 pounds for a person.
I have never seen a mouse run in front of my tv screen. We used to have a chipmunk that lived in the organ, though.
Fate is unkind.
The buttered side is heavier, and tends to flip downwards during the toast’s descent due to the laws of gravity and aerodynamics. It’s no biggie. I’d throw the toast out even if it landed on the unbuttered side. My floors are scary.
When I had to wear a shirt-and-tie I found myself eating at pasta places for lunch approximately 5 times a week. Dress shirts are usually white. Order the fettucini alfredo.
Remember the promise of cable? They all said there would be no commercials because, natch, the service was paid for by the viewer. They lied to us. This was the beginning of the end of my innocence.
Wendy’s is open till 1:00, I think. As is Taco Bell, IIRC. McDonald’s is open till midnight. What kind of hours are you keeping, anyway?
Fate is unkind.
I’m reading this page (and typing poorly formatted stream-of-consciousness responses) because I have no life. Friday night, and I’m killing time till bedtime. Whee for me.
Baby predators … lion cubs, minnow-sized piranha, tadpole shark, squirmy alligator lizardlings …vs… baby harmless creatures … koala cublets … little bitty kittens … puppy-dogs … tiny pink mice with their incredibly delicate little fingers and toes… I’m thinking actually, you’re mistaken. Baby harmless creatures are, in fact, cuter.
You’re suffering the cumulative loss of the brain cells that die each day, and aren’t replaced. It gets worse. Trust me.
What, you don’t like AppleWorks? It’s all you need, really.
Fate is unkind.
B()()BS. Your friends don’t watch it because they have actual porn.
How many ducks would it take to equal the weight of an average human? 30
Why do mice always choose to run across the room in the middle of good TV shows, and never during the commercials? Timing.
Why do you only slip and fall when carrying fragile things? I do not slip or fall. I plant my behind in the ground, and upon noticing a lack of root structure, move on with my life.
Why does the buttered side of the toast always land on the floor? Neither do I drop buttered toast (as I don't eat toast).
Why do you only go out for spaghetti while wearing a white shirt? I don't go out for spaghetti. Man, these are easy to answer:D
Why doesn't cable TV show anything good? ESPN is my lord and personal savior (well, after **Bigguron**, that is). TBS is a close third.
Why do you only crave fast food AFTER the restaurant has closed for the night? I have a fridge. It can hold fast food. And my cravings are more general ("meat!" ... well, actually more "CHICKEN!" ... "HOT DOGS!" ... "RAMEN!")
Why do some people type "cool" as "kewl?" 83c4u53 7h3y 4r3 1337 h4XX0r5.
Why are you reading this page? Because I am impossible bored and this is the one thread in MPSIMS I hadn't read;)
Why are baby predators cuter than baby harmless creatures? Nobody’s gonna eat a cute little baby, are they? But what’s the harm in eating that ugly thing there?
Why can I never find my book after setting it down for twenty seconds? Short attention span.
Why is there no good and cheap Macintosh software readily available? Good, cheap and Macintosh. Pick 2.
Why wasn’t I born rich? Because you were born Rose.
Why is Baywatch so popular, if nobody I know ever watches it? It isn’t “so popular” anymore, dear;)