These are the kinds of totally random things I think about sometimes, this latest one fueled by this thread.
To preface, I have no intention of ever having an affair, and neither does my husband. But sometimes I think about how the fact that we trust each other so much would make it really easy, no strange people of the opposite sex coming unescorted to the house required.
For example: every Thursday night I sing with a choir. I’m gone for a couple of hours rehearsing. My husband doesn’t know any of the choir members and really has no way of knowing whether I’m actually going to choir. Conversely, my husband often has to work late, and he also enjoys long bike rides. I have no real way of knowing if that’s what he’s really doing.
(I almost feel like there should be a joke here about how he told me he was having an affair and I found out that he was really sneaking off and doing physics…)
I imagine that if one of us really did have an affair, we’d find out it wasn’t quite so easy (the choir director might call my house and ask my husband where I was, or someone might mention to me that he saw my husband not riding his bike, or something). I also imagine that in a situation in which an affair is likely to happen, the level of trust is less, so that it naturally is less likely to actually remain hidden.
Though I’m kind of curious as to whether people really have found it to be logistically easy to hide an affair, or whether they’ve found it to be harder than it looks (which is my thought, but again, I don’t really intend to find out).
I had a brief affair in 2001. Physically, it only lasted for a few months. I ended it due to guilt and the fear of getting caught. However we stayed in touch by email.
So, cut to 2008 when I inadvertently left my email account open on the PC. Google gives you a lot of storage space and I had never deleted anything, going back to 2005 when I got the account. There was a lot of incriminating evidence on there. I’m still dealing with the fall out and probably will forever. Not good.
I work with my wife, am usually at home by 6, and stay with her and Sophia every evening. It would be really difficult for me to do so, probably the same for her.
I think it would be easy for me as I don’t work outside the home other than volunteer work a couple times a week. Provided that is, the person I was having the affair with was available during the weekday.
I go out for a couple beers after work now and then; I take weekend excursions with my buddies sometimes; my wife and I both travel for work occasionally; and so forth. Finding unverifiable time to actually do the deed would be the easy part.
Thing is, I’m a shitty liar, and my wife is observant and intuitive enough that she’d surely figure out I was hiding something from her. It would not end well.
It would be wicked easy for both of us. He works very long hours, 45 minutes away, in a different state. I go to school 45 minutes in the other direction, in another different state. Half the time we can’t even keep track of each others schedules.
I have no intention of cheating on him. I can’t speak for him, obviously, but I doubt he has or will.
This week the four year old starts kinder (pre school) so for those two days a week I’ll be able to fake appointments and play hooky from playgroup to make whoopie with whomsoever I choose! As long as they’re ok with me bringing the 9 month old along.
After months of working 70 hrs/wk, heading back to work after putting the kids to bed, my wife did ask facetiously if I was having an affair.
I was too tired and punchy to give her a serious answer, so I said “Really? An affair? Just LOOK at me! If I were having an affair, wouldn’t I look a lot happier?”
There’s a bar in Boise called “The Office”.
“Honey, Jane/John called and said to meet her/him at The Office tonight to discuss the Johnson accout.”
“Darn. Well duty calls. Don’t wait up.”
Leaffan, that’s interesting that you did in fact find it so easy.
Wheelz, yeah, that would be the issue for me too. I can hardly hide Christmas gifts from the guy, much less any secret less innocuous than that.
Cazzle, that made me laugh. I’m just imagining my own whoopie situation involving a hottie guy reading The Snowy Day to the Little One. Seventeen times. In a row.
Yeah, I’m not saying I wouldn’t sleep around because I so would right now, as long as no one expected sex from me. Sex, I can get at home but several hours uninterrupted sleep - that’s what I’m looking for right now.
But to get back to the question: when I was working, an affair would have been easy, logistically: between sales calls, Chamber of Commerce events, and the general after-hours networking required by my job, it would be simple to carve out an hour here or there for extracurricular activities. And Mr. M’s job as a cop gives him ample opportunity. But we married one another because we each trust one another. If I were looking for someone else, I would have remained single.
Probably a good thing, because I’m an excellent liar if I feel the need, which I generally don’t.
