The made up movie game

Liam Neeson plays a brave potato farmer, battling weevils, tubercolosis, and greedy landlords.
In Complete Denial

“In Complete Denial”

In another attempt to get an Oscar nomination, Jim Carrey plays a man whose seemingly successful personal and professional lives begin to fall apart as his behaviour becomes increasingly irrational; he discovers it’s the result of repressed memories of abuse, and decides to confront his estranged father, played by James Cromwell.

The Second Promise*

you owe me a new keyboard

The Second Promise

In this tearjerker, a surgeon (Leo DiCaprio) finds his Hippocratic oath tested by his marriage vows, when his wife (Liv Tyler)'s rapist (Steve Bushemi) needs reconstructive surgery after a near fatal car accident.

new title:
Don’t Walk the Walk

*Don’t Walk the Walk *: Follow the travails of Adam Sandler in this tragicomedy of errors, as he attempts to wriggle out of his date with Florida’s electric chair (after being wrongfully convicted) by any means necessary. Also stars Samuel L. Jackson as the hapless warden who gets increasingly uppity after every escape attempt.

Eleven Seas.

Eleven Seas

Newly released convict, Danny Seas, recruits a Boeski, a Jim Brown, a Miss Daisy, two Jethros, a Leon Spinks, and the biggest Ella Fitzgerald ever, to join him in attempting the boldest liquor store robbery in history. Rated PG for coarse language and mild themes.

Lice!

LICE!

A bunch of genetically enhanced super lice escape from a military base into an unsuspecting small town. Ryan Reynolds is the wisecracking town sheriff that has to put a stop to the lice taking over the world.
Money shot : A hot blond cheerleader gets her head gruesomely eaten from the inside out after taking a shower.

Lots of T.O.R.Q.U.E!

Lots of T.O.R.Q.U.E.: The four heroes of The Organization of the Reigning Queen’s United Enforcement (T.O.R.Q.U.E.) take on the evil agents of the Agency for The Total Annihilation of Civilization (A.T.T.A.C.) to thwart their plans. Cheap British knockoff of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers; stars Justin Long, Anne Hathaway, and a bunch of unknowns; will appeal only to the kiddies.

The Last Song of Danny Michaels

The Last Song of Danny Michaels Washed-up Irish folk singer Danny Michaels (Micheal Keaton), diagnosed with terminal cancer uses the liberation of his impending death to compose powerful anti-whaling protest songs in Gaelic, which briefly rocket him to no.1 on the folk song billboard, before he is tragically killed in a harpoon accident.

Released in Japan as Super-happy drunk man
A Fistfull of Fetta

**A Fistfull of Fetta **

BoBo Fett, a retired starship pilot, using a recipe from Old Earth, creates a Greek-like cheese that saves the economy of the New Empire. Starring Edward Norton.

Swan River

Swan River Starring Sissy Spacek and Gene Hackman as the scions of two southern families separated by political mores and a tidal estuary which both families claim as their own. Forbidden love between the two blooms 45 years too late, after all their other family members are killed in petty squabbles.

A Sun Also Sets.

A Sun Also Sets stars Antonio Banderas as a bullfighter who’s overconfidence leads to defeat at the hands of an albino bull. His disgrace leads him to join a radical animal rights organization. In a daring midnight raid to free bulls from the tyranny of Big Bullfighting, he must make a terrifying decision when he confronts his nemesis, the albino bull, and decide if he’s truly forgiven the beast.

Psychedelic Sissy and the Tin Pan Alley Marshmallow Salesmen

Psychedelic Sissy and the Tin Pan Alley Marshmallow Salesmen

Scarlett Johansson stars as a recovering LSD addicy in early 1970’s New York, where she meets Woody Harrelson in NA. A romance blooms as they fight the temptations of the drug culture they can’t seem to shake. Eventually, they realize, with the help of Joseph Cooper, played by John Goodman, a fellow recovering addict, the key to a sober life involves an ability to find joy in mundane activities, such as listening to turn of the century music.
Down by Sorrow
PS - Joseph Cooper eventually gained a brief moment of fame for getting into a fight with Billy Martin.

Slippery When Wet

Steve Carrell is Commander Horatio Wet, USCG, the uptight captain of the misfit crew of a Coast Guard cutter. Normally they are assigned mundane drug interdiction duties in Key West where they spend the majority of their time getting stoned and otherwise goofing off. Through some circumstance they find themselves pulling some real counter-piracy duty off the coast of Somalia and are forced to become heros with hilarious results. Kind of along the theme of McCales Navy, Up Parascope and Sgt. Bilco.

The Last Hombre

The Last Hombre James Cameron (director) offers his take on the Paul Newman film classic “Hombre”, but this time instead of a stagecoach, the transport is an interplanetary space shuttle.

Adam Sandler stars as the offbeat hero who was raised on Terra and must try to get the shuttle to the Space Station before the oxygen is gone (an onship argument led to the release of three of the oxygen pods). The various planetary ensemble (a Dworkian, a Martian, a Venetian and a Moonchild) learn that despite their different origins everyone needs to breath.

An Offer I Can Refuse

**
Down by Sorrow**

A girl named Sorrow (starring, uhm… I don’t know any child actresses… a Leon-era Natalie Portman, perhaps?) is orphaned at a young age and raised by a hard but fair retired soldier (Liam Neeson) who owns a small farm in medieval Pidkkilan. It’s discovered that Sorrow’s tears have the property of imbuing goose down with the power of levitation. Curious people from all over the realm come to visit Sorrow and her increasingly worried father, until it attracts the attention of the king of Pidkkilan, several of his vassals, and the ruler of Oquisltri, with whom Pidkkilan has an uneasy truce. Sorcerors are sent by various interested parties to investigate Sorrow, and it is discovered that an ancient ritual can give the power of controlled flight to the blessed down to make magic quilts, jackets, etc. Sorrow is 14 at this point, and is at first delighted to be at the center of attention; she willingly cuts open onions to bring out the waterworks.

One of the vassals ends up killing the emissary from Oquisltri, and tensions start to mount. The first Sorrow Jacket is created by the king of Pidkkilan’s sorceror, and reports of flying soldiers begin to circulate. Sorrow and her father, realizing the danger, flee the “protective custody” of Pidkkilan and are relentlessly chased by all and sundry while the surrounding powers begin to make war. The king of Pidkkilan is assassinated by a Sorrow Cape’d vassal’s sorceror, and all hell breaks loose. The final shot is of Sorrow hiding on a treetop, watching elite flying soldiers dodging arrows as they try to breach a castle in the distance, a single tear rolling down her cheek and hitting a goose resting below. Celine Dion sings a tear-jerking song about birds with broken wings over the closing credits. TO BE CONTINUED…
Well, that was fun.
Next:

Pickle Control

Pickle Control

Science Fiction/Horror

Sunspots cause a deadly radiation on Mars, which leaves a radiation trail that the Earth passes through. The effects of this go largely unnoticed, until people start inexplicably drowning. Phil the scientist (Kevin Bacon) notices that most of these drownings are in salt water. His homely assistant Juanita (Jessica Alba) discovers that irradiated pickles are exacting their revenge on human kind by causing a telepathic madness, forcing people to inhale seawater. Phil refuses to take Juanita seriously, until she takes off her glasses and lets down her hair. He falls madly in love with her, they convince the US Army to make their enemies into a giant sandwich, and they live happliy ever after.

Kiefer Madness

Kiefer Bapper (Eric Roberts) is a hapless agent from the Anti Terrorism Unit in LA, and has got only 24 hours to stop several attempts at a terrorist attack by hackers, Muslims, the Australian Mob and PETA.

This 2007 zany comedy attempted to satirize action movies and the TV show “24” in particular. It was a comercial and critical failure, with several reviewers agreeing in that even at it’s craziest, it was still not as over the top as the original.

Told in the first person, past tense narrative. “An Offer” is the story of Jerry Bishop (Edward Norton), a talented painter/sculptor who turned down a substantial contingency contract for his artworks in exchange for exclusivity with the gallery owner who made the offer, the father of the woman Jerry loved, provided he terminate the relationship. Instead Jerry and his love (played adequately by Drew Barrymore) lived a life of poverty. On his deathbed, Jerry muses about what might have been. Fantasy scenes are interspersed with reminiscences to create this moving tale.

"You Can’t Make Me!"

"You Can’t Make Me!"

Light-hearted romantic remake of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, in which the monster (Jim Carrey) doubts the abilities of his creator (Jenny McCarthy).

Another Day, Another Dollar