I’m an American (of Jewish descent) and my wife is Chinese. She is definitely NOT the “docile” type. She has her own career, is very outspoken, and inherited a wee bit too much of her mother’s temper.
I’ve always found Asian women to be attractive, but never actually dated one until I met my wife (obviously, she wasn’t my wife when I met her, but you know what I mean). It wasn’t the personality of Asian women that attracted me – I just thought that many Asian women were incredibly good looking! You can look all you want for hidden means and deep significances as to why men find foreign girls attractive, but for me it was purely biology.
I should point out, by the way, that I don’t JUST find Asian women attractive. I’ve met plenty of Caucasian women over the years that I would give my left testicle to date. I will say, however, that if you were to show me 100 randomly selected Asian women and 100 randomly selected Caucasian women, the lilihood is that I would find a higher percentage of the Asian women attractive.
The funny thing is that my wife doesn’t think she is at all attractive. According to her, she is very plain by Chinese standards, whereas I think she is gorgeous. And maybe that has something to do with everything. Most of the Caucasian women who I’ve found attractive knew darn well they were attractive and could basically have any guy they wanted. My wife, on the other hand, is very attractive to me, but not (according to her) to the men from her culture. So maybe part of the reason that males are “obsessed” with foreign women is because they are simultaneously beautiful (to them) and more available than the home grown variety.
I’ve spent a lot of time in Europe and this is my opinion. When I first went abroad, the idea of a foreign lover was actually more appealing than the men themselves. IT’s the stuff romance novels are made of. Additionally a lot of the American men were smitten with the accents, the unusual appearance, dress and mannerisms. Unfortunately some of these same characteristcs tend to strain the relationships in the long run. As couples get married and infatuation fades, cultural differences can hurt relationships and inter-nationality marriages have a high failure rate. Just an observation.
A few years ago, I was on a train from Paris to Fountainbleu. Sitting across from me was a gentleman who was commuting back home. Conversation turned to American vs. French women and he said that his ex-wife is American and he couldn’t handle the fact that she was so demanding. Granted, she could have been an uberbitch, but cultural upbringing plays a factor here. The American society focuses a lot on individuality and women are taught that you need to be aggressive in order to climb the corporate ladder. In some of your “older” societies, the focus on on community/familial identity and individual desires, to a certain extent, are not as paramount. Not that the are repressed, I just think they don’t factor into the equation.
FWIW, I know plenty of Asian men who absolutely hate “docile” Asian women. “Sure, it’s fun at first. She listens, does what you ask, but after a while, you just want her to have an opinion.” Perhaps these men, too, have been brought up to want someone more openly opinionated.
Perhaps it’s also worthwhile to distinguish between Asian women who were born/raised here vs. Asian women who are recent immigrants. I find that mileage varies a lot here.
If you’re talking about a preference on looks, then none of this applies. Who knows why I like green eyes. Multiple alleles just turn me on. It’s interesting what godzillatemple brings up about relative attractiveness. Perhaps because his wife is not beautiful by American media standards (which has infiltrated a lot of the world) she does not think she is “all that.”
Then you never saw the effect of a suave Frenchman using his accent to work through a university or grad school’s female population.
I never understood until I went to Australia and all these robobabes suddenly found my California accent a very solid basis for instant physical attraction. I was the same bald guy with a beer belly…
This discussion seems to be primarily focused on Western men and foreign women, but I’d like to get some feedback on the mirror image – is there a similar fetish for foreign women in non-Western nations? I’d love to hear from some of our overseas Dopers on this issue.
I don’t see it much. I’m an equal-opporitunity employer. Well, not employer, but you know what I mean. If someone has a cite to prove the “dumping genes into a new pool” theory, that’d be interesting to read.
Actually, I happen to think my wife is beautiful by American media standards. She, however, was raised in China and doesn’t think she is beautiful according to Chinese standards. I was the first American she had ever dated, and she just really had trouble believing that I thought she was beautiful.
My wife of 6 years is Asian. Grew up in Hong Kong.
I really get a chuckle out of people who think Asian women are docile and subservient. Um, no. Believe me, she’s assertive and speaks her mind. More often that myself, in fact.
I must also admit (not surprisingly) that I am attracted to Asian women. Why? Hmm. Others have already hit on this topic pretty well. Suffice to say, I think Asian women, when compared to their Caucasian counterparts in the U.S., are on average…
Hmm… I don’t know. You may’ve gotten one of the good ones from Hong Kong, but in my opinion, while “better-looking” is basically indisputable, there are plenty of stupid, spoiled, bitchy, greedy, immoral girls in HK, though naturally it’s impossible to quantify, let alone compare between nationalities. Don’t judge a group by the representatives that make it to the US, that is not going to be the full picture.
Oh, about foreign interest in American women, sort of, but maybe not in a way that most people would appreciate. A lot of guys out there are interested in American women because they are “easy.” This is partly an idea that comes from their intake of American media, and partly from the fact that American girls ARE easy compared to most women in these places. I’ve heard about Middle Eastern guys coming to study in the US and just having their minds blown by what girls wear.
The jives exactly with my experience dating a Japanese girl. To be honest I was sort of looking forward to a subtle and yet dignified deference…boy was I wrong. She has as much attitude as any american woman I’ve ever been with and then some. She was born in Japan and came here 4 years ago, so I don’t know how much traditional Japanese woman is left in her, but I don’t think she was really like that to begin with anyway.
I’ve been attracted to asian women for a long time, mostly for the reasons posted above. I just like they way they look, their features. And I really don’t think this is any more shallow than seeking an attractive mate of your own sex, god knows I never turned that down when offered.
Funny, as a Canadian guy travelling abroad, I struck up a nice relationship with a California girl. What attracted me, aside from her good looks and personality, was her crazy accent!
I don’t know what it is, but I’m the New Zealand exchange student in small town America, and all of a sudden guys seem to be magnatised to me. It’s the accent or something. Although, especially in a small town its the concept of someone new.
I also think that the concept of “going home at the end of the year” seems to be appealing to many guys, so if they make complete dicks of themselves, at least theres only so long to put up with it, and if a relationship does start up, its purely short term.
It does go backwards though. A male friend of mine visited NZ from the U.S, and the girls here were literally all over him. An okay looking, kind of charming guy was treated like prince of England or something.
It’s not as wonderful as it all makes out to be though, it’s tiring and gets boring being a trophy. “Hey listen to this guys. Shes from New Zealand. Listen to her speak. Funny!” Is an everyday occurance. At least twice. It would be nice to be treated normally for once. Even my teachers try to copy/mock my accent. In the middle of class. In front of everyone. Yawn