I hope she wipes backwards and not forwards, failing that I hope she is using birth control.
Sorry, have I just gone too far? How low are we going with this anyway? 
Lieu, you’re killing me here.
samarm
\ow low are we going? Well, once you get to the level of living on ejaculate, I, for one, will be sure to let you know.
Ah, dammit.
That’s supposed to say “How low…”
Maybe she should do this to music and call it Jizzercise.
Thelonius Spunk?
Ok… assuming she’s 5’7" tall, this site says that she needs 1255 calories per day to lose 1 lb per week.
According to Unca Cecil “man juice” has roughly 2 calories per 5 cc(one serving).
So… by my calculations, Ms. Kelly would need (1255/2)5 ccs of man juice ** per day*, or 3137.5 cc.
Or in US Standard units, that’s 3.2 quarts, or 628 servings.
She’s got some work ahead of her, to say the least!
[joke so ancient it has whiskers]and if any of the swimmers survive that we’ll call the kid Houdini[jsaihw]
You realize you’re going to have to find a cite for a USDA portion size.
Ms. Kelly is an idiot. Period. (where do I volunteer?)
I guess I’m an innocent.
:blink:
:blink:
I’ll say. Even assuming that each…um…meal takes only 5 minutes to…um…consume, there aren’t enough hours in the day; she’d need to be doing this over 52 hours a day.
Guess that’s where the “banana smoothies” come in (so to speak).
Am I guy the only guy who so doesn’t want to be involved with this?
I am not clicking on that link.
I am not clicking on that link.
I am not clicking on that link.
I am not clicking on that link.
I am not clicking on that link.
<click>
Ack.
He has told us how long man can live by bread alone, after all.
BTW-
Banana smoothies?! WTF?
Maybe, water is acceptable. But banan smoothies? Hell no! You could just as well call it the banana smoothie diet! If you say “man juice diet”, it had damn well better be a man juice diet!
BTW-
Wouldn’t 3.2 quarts of the stuff include a dangerous level of salt?
BTW Again-
Hmmm, would the diets of the “donors” effect the nutritive value of the man juice?
“Organic man-juice.”
At least it’s all natural.
Would it count as vegetarian? No wait. She’s eating meat!!!
You know, I can see how it would work. Personally speaking, if you’re eating because you’re bored (like I sometimes do), especially if you’re orally inclined, like I am – I always am sticking pencils or pins or paint or something in my mouth – I can see how this kind of diet would be feasible. Like, instead of having that box of french fries, you’re giving someone a bj, so you save yourself about 600 calories of boredom.
I’d like to lose about 5 lbs, but unfortunately I don’t get to do that. 
Ya wanna supersize that?
[sub]We’re raising the tone again, aren’t we?[/sub]
[Ken Star] define “that”[/Ken Star]
Back To The Op-
I always wonder what mom and dad think at these times.
“So, Phil, how’s yer daughter doin?”
“I’m so proud! She’s invented a new diet! It’ll be bigger than Atkins!”
“Huh. What kind a diet?”
“Semen! Wait, I think I have the video where she explains it.”
So can I sign up as your personal trainer?