Here it is, 2:09 AM, and I’m not doing anything. I’m not even going through the Boards. I was going to fiddle around with my website, or maybe draw a picture or two, or finish writing up a story, but no-o-o-o-o, I just can’t.
See, I’m in the unpleasant situation of liking someone that likes someone else (the word “like” here means more than I’m letting on). I won’t elaborate much, but let’s just say that I’ve been hopelessly head-over-heels for this person for far too long. Gah!! More than three years!! Gah!!
Anyway, it’s very tempting to fall into one of those “oh, nobody loves me, the world sucks, wah wah wah” kind of moods. But I don’t want to. I don’t want to fall to the temptation of blaming something other than happenstance that led to this. I don’t want to fall to the temptation of hating myself, or the world, or getting all depressed and morbid ('cuz then that just wouldn’t be me, would it?).
In either case, it’s put a rather significant lock on my mental abilities. You know how it is… you start doing something, and then you have a brief flash on the situation, or perhaps see or think of something that reminds you… and BAM!!!, there you are again.
Anyway, I just wanted to vent a little before I went off to bed. Maybe this’ll help me sleep a little better tonight. If not… well, you’ll hear me bitch about THAT in a few weeks!
