How about one of those books that has a sound board attatched? My husband bought several for my kids once. Thinking about them still makes me want to kick his handsome, albeit, clueless ass.
Polly Pockets. Tiny vinyl clothes and tiny vinyl dolls. No way can a kid dress and undress them on their own, so mom and dad have to help. It reminds me of what might happen when when a woman with a female condom and a man with a male condom try to do a ‘condom activity’.
There’s probably nothing preventing you from making glitter play-doh.
There is also the ever popular chemistry set… <insert evil laugh here>
Oh, GAWD, Play-doh and carpets!
Silly Putty and carpets are even WORSE.
If you are old enough to remember Flubber, Flubber and carpets were the worst of all!
~VOW
Here you go: Craft kit with paint and beads
It has a ton of wooden beads the girl can paint herself, then make jewelry with. Throw in a bonus pot of glitter and you’ll hit the trifecta.
The best part? It’s a teacher oriented website, so you can act all innocent, “It’s supposed to be educational!”
Justin Bieber dolls have already been mentioned.
And they make such a lovely sound when you accidentally suck one up in the vacuum cleaner.
Thunk-thunk-thunk-whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!
Oh, yeah this is one to remember. For several years, I was the Cool Aunt, giving my nieces and nephews the Most Awesome Presents EVAR!!!
Then I got married and had kids of my own. :eek:
Payback’s a bitch. A big fat bitch who will smack you in the face and kick your ass at the same time.
Oh, hell yes, this (the Sing-a-ma-jig). I got one for the company White Elephant exchange today. It’s horrifying, searingly loud, and their little anus mouths are creepy as hell. They have a ‘duet’ version with two in the box for like $15 at Target. So much annoyance for your dollar.
How about an ant farm? Imagine the shock from the parents when their kid gets a box of ants.
I always wanted to be the inventor of Baby’s First Bagpipes. I figured that would be a gift that would keep the family entertained for months!
I always figured the inventor of the (now illegal) lawn darts was a man after my own heart - who couldn’t love the concept of huge darts with long pointy metal spikes that you randomly throw up in the air?! What could possibly go wrong with that?
Do they still sell cork guns?
My son had one when he was about five or six. (He’s 15 now) It looked like a hunting rifle, I guess. It was a wooden gun shape, with a plastic tube for a barrel, and a cork with a string that went into the barrel. You’d put the cork in the end of the barrel, “cock” it and pull the trigger. The cork would pop out, but not go very far because of the string, and made a pretty cool popping sound.
One of my friends got her grandson a tadpole farm/kit. When I asked her what was going to happen when the tadpoles transformed into frogs, she said “I don’t know, I don’t care, it’s not my house!” and cackled.
And how long did it take for him to figure out that he could actually shoot the cork clear across the room by removing the string?
(It took my five year old son about 10 nanoseconds IIRC.) :mad:
“No son, I don’t know what happened to the cork. I told you not to take the string off.” 
If the kids live somewhere cold, preferably with snow on the ground until March or later, an unassembled swingset–preferably one with pictures on the box—will do the job. For bonus griefing, try to ensure several parts are missing.
Ha! He never did take the cork off, probably because he had several Nerf guns that were good for actually shooting things. He spent a lot of time crawling around the house on his belly, being a sniper.
If you can find it, the Chicken Dance Chicken drove my SIL nuts. Everytime a child would clap, it would start buck-bucking the chicken dance song.
Can’t watch videos at work so not sure if these were in the “Toys that make the noise” video:
Hungry, hungry hippos
Cat’s Eye
Ker-plunk
Also, be sure to pair the Bieber doll with the Justin Bieber singing toothbrush.
There’s more than enough material here now for the A Very Karlheinz Stockhausen Christmas album…
Guaranteed to start innumerable sibling fights and leave hundreds of rubber bands all over the house. Make sure you get one per child.
Yep. It’s scented, too!