I think I got into a fight with one of my best guy friends in the entire world. But honestly, I’m not sure either of us know if 1) We are really fighting and 2) What we are fighting about?. Its all a big bundle of confusion.
What happened is that recently I’ve become aware to the fact that sooner or later, at one point in our lives, the two of us might date. No big deal, right? Right! Basically, I started asking questions that he interpreted as me flirting with him. Thats not a problem either. So he starts flirting with me, which is also fine.
Well, we went to a movie and I said something that kinda weirded him out, because he started acting, well, weird. Today we were talking, and I apologized for what I said, but he thought I was apologizing for flirting. And one thing led to another and now I’m not even sure what I was apologizing for to begin with.
The main problem for me is that I always go to him with my problems, and he can’t be there for me now, and I can’t be there for him, because he is my problem, and that makes everything worse. So I don’t know what to do? Does anyone have any similar problems they want to share or maybe even advice? Misery loves company! I’d appreciate it. Thanks!
This seems fairly simple, do you desire to take this friendship to the next level or don’t you ? There is no way that you can deal with your friend unless you know what it is you want in your heart. Period. No goal was ever accomplished by feeling it out for years. If you want it, go for it - if you don’t, and friendship is all, then make that clear. I feel it is the ambiguity that is causing the confusion in the relationship. Make up your mind.
look, just go to him and lay it all out, spill the cat, let the beans out of the bag, etc. If he is that kinda guy, he will appreciate the honesty. However, warning, this will end up one of 3 ways: an awkward moment/ a renewed freindship- but not more/ or …well…make sure you took your pill that morning.
Hi there Angel,
I mostly agree with the guys. I have had similar experiences where the person who I refer to as my touchstone or sounding board has had some kind of problem or fight with me and I really do find myself at a loss to figure things out. I am that kind of person who works through problems by talking to someone about them, and have a real hard time if that is not available. It seems you are much the same.
I think the first thing you should do is figure out what you want. Unfortunately that may be very hard or even impossible for you to do without the guidance of your friend. In that case, open the doors of communication with him asap and just start talking about what happened, what YOU meant, what HE meant, what YOU were thinking/feeling, what HE was thinking/feeling, etc. Beware, this conversation may change your relationship a lot …
Good luck and keep us posted!
Thank you for the advice. I’ll definitely try to talk with him as soon as I can. But until than, Feel free to post a reply. I’ll be sure to let you all know what happens. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one thats been in this type of situation. Thanks a lot! ~AngelD112
I guess there’s only one thing for me to say. I promised I’d keep you posted. I talked to him today. We basically came to the decision that I was 1) overreacting and 2)being annoying by bringing it up again. So it didn’t really go over all that well.
We talked about it and he’s fine with it and doesn’t really understand why I was upset. I think our friendship will be fine. I feel a little awkward but I’ll get over that in time and hopefully our friendship will be better than ever.
I’m still not sure what we decided but I, personally, think that if dating ever comes up again that we’ll handle it at that time.
Why ruin are friendship over something that hasn’t even happened yet? Thanks again for all the advice! ~ AngelD112