The Most Unsexy Names

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
61

Boys:

Adolph
Aldous (as in Huxley)
Arlo
Archibald
Ambrose
Arnold (sorry, just not a sexy name)
Barnabus
Bertram
Bartholomew
Brewster (nothing ending is “ster” can be sexy, can it?)
Burl (as in Ives)
Burgess (as in Meredith)
Chester (See “Brewster” for the rule governing this one)
Clyde
Darwin
Dermot
Delroy
Dwayne
Dwight (that ‘dw’ sound ain’t happenin’)
Earl
Edgar
Edmund
Edwin
Eugene
Eustace
Garfield
Garth
Harold
Harvey
Hector
Herbert (anything ending in “bert” is risky, folks)
Herman
Horace
Humphrey
Jarvis
Jerome
Kermit
Knute (pronounced “Noot”)
Leopold
Lester
Lionel
Melvin
Norbert (there’s that “bert” curse again!)
Norman
Obadiah
Ogden
Olaf
Percy
Purvis
Ralph
Rudolph
Seymour
Sherman
Stanley
Sylvester
Vernon
Virgil
Walter
Wayne

Now I want it carefully noted that I never said that men with these names could not be sexy … but if they are it’s in spite of the name, because the name ain’t helping!

Girls:

Adelaide
Agatha
Agnes
Astrid
Beatrice
Bernice
Darlene
Dolores
Dorcas
Edith
Eleanor
Esther
Florence
Frances
Geraldine
Harriet
Hester
Imogene
Inez
Louise
Lurlene
Mavis
Martha
Nadine
Naoma
Oprah
Phyllis
Sylvia
Thelma
Trilby
Velma
Wallis
Wanda

Once again, no one’s saying that women with these names can’t be sexy. I’m sure there are some very hot women out there who somehow ended up with these names. But I doubt anyone envisions a sensual seductress when they first here these names, either.

62

For guys:

Alistair
Ashley (fine for girls, though)
Boris
Bruno
Carmen
Chauncey
Cornelius
Dana (see Ashley)
Emile (unlike Agnes, I can’t imagine this being sexy in french)
Gord
Hank
Ichabod
Ira
Lonnie
Murray (Gord, Lonnie, Hank and Murray would make a great overweight, balding bowling team)
Manfred
Quincy
Remus
Rory
Spalding
Thaddeus
Zane

Girls:

Belinda
Bonnie
Constance
Cora
Esmerelda
Fern
Hagar
Morag (IMHO, the worst name ever, bar none.)
Sabine
Shirley
Tabitha
Vivian
Winnifred

63

Winnifred, Fern, and Chauncey! Good ones!

I respectfully disagree with Sabine, Hank, Zane, and Rory, though. Hank and Zane are cowboy names. Cowboys are sexy.

64

Thus far unmentioned: Otis & Englebert

65

Agnes
Eunice
Florence
Strom
Trent
[note: even if those two weren’t in and of themselves so unsexy, their names still are]

66

I knew my name would be on the list. Sigh.

But I’m awfully cute, even with an old-fart name!

67

Gee, I’ve always liked the name Stinkum myself…

I believe that I knew someone named Mergatroid. I don’t even know if it was male of female.

You all have just named half of the people in my class at school, most of their parents and all of my relatives. :smiley:

I’m not fond of the names Dorthula and Hermione for women.

68

My ex-bf’s mom’s first names is Dortha. WTF were her parents THINKING???

69

Adolph

70

Yeah, Nigel would be one that I would nominate, along with Neville, Wayne, Terry and Lance. This list does not include the old-fashioned or obscure names that were popular in the dark ages…like Cecil, Percival or Wally…truly unsexy names.

For the female variety, I would include Leanne, Dianne, Edith, Melva and Thelma. Of course there are others, but for common names, these strike me as particularly lacking in ‘arousability’.

Apologies to anyone who is offended by my inclusions.

:cool:

71

Damn…where’s Deeward when you need her?

:smiley:

72

I was thinking Je-sus. Maybe it’s just the Big Lebowski that’s making me find it not unsexy. And there’s nothing wrong with yelling his name in bed - I’m sure that plenty of people do that all the time.

73

Two pages and no one’s suggested that this name is unsexy:
Buckwheat

We did an amniocentesis, so we knew we’d be having a girl.

To those who’d ask: “Have you picked out a name?” the response was always the same,

“If it’s a girl we’re going to name her Anne but if it’s a boy it’ll be Buckwheat.”

74

Edna

75

Gertrude. Or Blanche.

76

Lester.

77

My grandmother-in-law’s name was Opal Cretora. She didn’t like Opal, so they called her Cretora. I am still amazed. She named one of her daughter’s Doris. Doris didn’t like THAT, so they called her Ilou (pronounced eye-loo).

We can’t remember it exactly, but Mrs. Doubtfire’s first name is a doozy “Eulagenia” or something like that.

78

Guys:

Brainerd (yes, it’s a real name).
Arvin (no, I didn’t leave the M off).

79

Guys–
Hamish

No, that’s not a misspelling.

Girls–
Mary.

Hey, I went to Catholic school. It marked me.

80

Count you blessings.

Dorothy (not that I use it), daughter of Dorothy, daughter of Meta, daughter of Zipporah, daughter of Hepizbah.

It is a family tradition to name your female children dorky names.