<snerk> IN BED! <snerk>
It works, ya just gotta have an especially juvenile and smutty mind is all.
Actually, I did ask if she wanted an “Easter” basked which, to me, implies goodies.
Besides, I’m just not that mean…I don’t think. Well, maybe sometimes…no, I think not. Also, this is the perfect excuse for me to go out and include some goodies for me, like dark chocolate.
I have been vindicated in my love of dark chocolate! I read an article today that states dark chocolate helps reduce high blood pressure. See, it does have healthy benefits. Of course, there were the caveats about “reasonable” amounts, etc. I chose to ignore that part. I kid, I kid. When I do treat myself, I limit it one, maybe two squares every day or two. Even then, it’s probably about two months between the yumminess of dark chocolate treats for me. Why do I torture myself so?
I’m hungry…I want lunch, but I have an hour to go before lunch.
One of my smoke alarms is beeping. It’s at the head of the basement stairs. It’s disturbing the dog. I suppose I should change the battery, but I have this mental image of me falling down the stairs. I may wait till my sweetie comes home so he can catch me. Or he can change it and I can catch him.
Stupid alarm.
Well, that was easy. Battery changed. The old one had a date masking-taped to it - 1-8-01. So much for changing batteries twice a year!
No more beeping. Life is good.
Smoke beep detector beep batteries beep should beep be beep changed beep in beep the beep Spring beep and beepFall beep when beep the beep time beep changes beep go beep into beep effect. beep
BEEP
That reminds me the battery in my beeper beep is beep gettin’ beep low beep again. beep
Are you sure a big truck wasn’t backing up the stairs? It makes a noise similar to a smoke detector sometimes.
I went out and got my copy of The Incredibles last night. The younger future step-daughter was over, and left about a half-hour into it. She said it was boring. We said, “Goodbye” and watched the end of the movie and the added stuff. I’ll never understand that girl, why she don’t like good movies.
Well, since I got my fortune cookie out of the way (without the need for haiku, no less), I’ll get my for this MMP out now too:
A large woman wearing a sleeveless sun dress walked into a bar. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, “What man here will buy a lady a drink?”
The bar went silent as the patrons tried toignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owly-eyed (whatever that means) drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed; “Give the ballerina adrink!”
The bartender poured the drink and the womanchugged it down. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at allof them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked; “What man here willbuy a lady a drink?”
Once again, the same little drunkslapped his money down on the bar and said: “Give the ballerina another drink!”
The bartender approached the little drunk andsaid, “I say, old chap, it’s your business if you want to buy the lady drinks, but why do you keep calling her ‘the ballerina’?”
The drunk replied; “Any woman who can lift her leg that high has to be a ballerina!”
Isn’t that why the Simpsons live in Springfield? Because there is at least one town or city named Springfield in every state in the USA?
My alarm was beeping this morning too - since I don’t have a husband to change it, I called the rental office to put in a maintenance request.
Ya know, those things always start beeping at 10 pm - always. I need to get a ladder - the last couple times I’ve been standing on shaky things to get up there to change it - I can definitely see falling and breaking something while doing it.
Susan
How funny, I bought the The Incredibles last night too! The kids watched it and seemed to enjoy it. I haven’t seen it yet. I was busy playing World of Warcraft with the hubby until he went to bed. Then the teenager had to finish her homework. I know it was past 11:00 p.m. when I went to bed last night and she was still plugging away.
Our smoke detector batteries are good…for now. The beeping can be annoying. I hate changing the batteries out.
This talk of watching DVDs reminds me I still haven’t hooked up my new machine. It needs a cord of some sort. Lissla, do you have a DVD husband I may borrow? I would take good care of him and send him back in a very comfy box with plenty of air holes.
Did you know that smoke detectors can be heard even when they’re in the refrigerator? Determined to do their job it seems.
Is black wrapping paper wrong for a baby shower? It’s got big white polka dots and an avocado green ribbon.
I would love to have an Electronics Husband. That would be really handy. And maybe a Car Maintenance Husband.
Is there a town, village or burg named I Like It Like That?
And if so, can you show me where it’s at?
When I was in Houston last month, the last night I stayed at a hotel near the airport, and the smoke detector in my room was dying. I told the front desk, and someone came down and noted, as I did, that the ceilings were really REALLY high, so she had to track down a maintenance guy with a ladder. Then he had to track down a battery. I had 3 different room visits to take care of it. Meanwhile, I was dying to get a shower, but I didn’t dare till it was all taken care of.
Which it was, eventually. And I was able to sleep.
I wonder how old the battery in the smoke detector in my bedroom is?? Prolly should check before it wakes me with its beeps.
I’m glad the multiple-husbands thing is catching on. I think my only Useful Husband is Driving Husband. Mr. Lissar and Attacks Things Randomly Husband protect me from invisible ninjas. They think they’re Useful.
All of them have extraordinary furniture-awareness. None of them break things (except bones). As long as they’re just breaking bones, it’s fine with me.
Well, the idea is catching on, anyway. I just don’t happen to have any extra men lying around to fill the vacancies.
Sean, sadly I do have a facist IT dept here, so I can’t google them non-work-safe googlies, cos of the fascists. So in light of that I’ll stick to calling my new drinky-drink ‘Miloke’ when in the office and ‘Cocolo’ when I’m in the home. What will make this funnier is if I can get the Mother-in-Law from Geylang to call it Cocolo too!
That’d be funny, yessum.
I didn’t have porridge for breakfast, I had McDonalds, cos I was concerned no one was supporting the Corporate Giants of this world. Do you suppose Corporate Giants are planning Ragnorok with the Corporate Norse gods? Would Ronald McDonald win in a fight with Balder(the Brave)? These are the questions inquiring minds want answered!
McDonalds used to have porridge here, but it wasn’t really porridge, it was cungie, which is a rice-porridge, and most folks here just call it 'porridge’as a kind of verbal shorthand. This made it quite amusing in the Danger household when The Mother-in-Law from Geylang asked if I wanted porridge for breakfast, (to which I naturally said, ‘ooooh yeaaaah!’) and then came to the table to find pieces of fish and sliced dill floating in rice-mash.
‘Yipe!’ I said. ‘Yipe!’.
But I ate it anyways, cos I try to have a few manners. But I didn’t eat the abalone when they cooked that. I said, ‘ewwww! That tastes like old condoms!’ (which I’m really only supposing, not being terribly offait with the taste and/or texture of old condoms). Curiously, several people were quite offended at the dinner table that night. I can’t imagine why.
Rue, people here say ‘haitch’, which always puts me on edge, cos we all know it’s pronounced ‘aitch’. I know for a fact that if there was a Pittsburgh, Singapore, it’d be spelt with a ‘haitch’, not an ‘aitch’. But then, why is it pronounced ‘Pittsburgh’, like ‘Iceberg’, and not ‘Pittspurgh’, like ‘Edinburgh’? Inquiring minds and all that.
oh and Sean you get the same lukcy numbers cos they’re LUCKY dammit! Now you’ll have to do something with them. Like… um… ah… add them into every calculation you make to improve the outcome. Add, subtract and divide them with your age, to improve the prosperity and auspicity of your outlook. Create a quadratic equation with them and then paint that all over the kitchen walls using maple syrup and porridge (yum!).
mind you, it could also be that the same numbers are printed on ALL the sweet and sour pork…
…why are there numbers on your sweet and sour pork?
Have you ever tried Fish Head Curry? That’s scary! The fish stares at you while you eat it’s head. Everyone here (in the office) thinks it’s delicious, but it gives me nightmares, thinking about the zombie fish.
Zombie fish!
ZOMBIE FISH!!!
(is there a wiggly font I can do that in?)
Lissla, when two husbands come into contact do they cancel each other out? Like matter and anti-matter? Or is it better not to ask!
(I want two husbands too! Me so jealous! (don’t tell MrsDangergene)).
I didn’t watch the Incredibles last night, cos I watched it on sunday and friday (in backwards timing), and it’s wunnerful!!! I need to go find the hidden bits that I read about in the Incredibles thread over in Cafe Society. I watched Justice League last night instead. I love that show.
#1dangerson has developed a love for Wonder Woman, (he’s only two). He plays with 10inch Batman and 10inch Wonder Woman and makes them kiss. Then he makes them fall over! Kissing, then falling over, that pretty much sums up the world, doesn’t it?
look invisible ninjas! ARGH!
Wonder Woman is the bomb, man. That’s why I got me some Wonder Woman underoos. When I want to feel mighty, I put 'em on.
Boxed mashed taters tonight for dinner (among other things) thanks to the recent thread on them.
Scout I’m soooo jealous (of your underoos, not the men you have lying around the place). Where do you get Wonder Woman underoos? I want Skeletor Underoos, I think that’d be cool! And I could walk around knowing, just quietly knowing that I had Skeletor in my pants!
Well, I’m willing to sell Lazy Husband off. Start bidding, folks. You have to convince him to move to wherever you are, though.
Two husbands in contact seems to mean bruises, gene. At least, that’s the way it is around here.
One spouse too many is the definition of polygamy. The definition works for monogamy, too.