I have been really bored in my day. Bored enough to paint lil stripes on my toenails. Never this bored. Never occurred to you to, call me crazy, look at a dog?
Look who’s back and slightly more coherent? It’s EggNogg
Ok! How about I tie you to a chair, pin your eyes open and make you listen to six hours of Celine Dion karaoke accompanied by interpretive dance by a loincloth wearing Rush Limbaugh? Followed by force feeding you bean burritos and supergluing your anus shut? And then I get serious… Canyon Surfer
Patience, people, patience. The only reason I’m keeping up now is because it’s my day off. Don’t make me smack you with my sneaker. I keep my pimp hand strong.
WSLer writes a novel
Dammit it, I can’t pick on you. Wait, wait…
Great, now I’m visualizing you in a crushed velvet suit. Must clorox brain. ClairificC tosses her hair and giggles
Just head over to Crunchy’s place and he’ll welcome you real good. Just lie back and think of shiny things and kittens. If you have a hot brother, send him over to me so I can train, I mean entertain him.
Ok, I’d like to take this time to apologize to Broodha as I seem to have been premature with the quips about not having a personality. Mr. the_Veal here has given us absolutley nothing to work with. At least Broodha hints at his ambitions of being a professional student. And who can blame him? Keg parties, co-eds, college can be cool. How bad is Mr. the_Veal? I’ve spent most of his welcome talking about Broodha and the only interest he hints at involves a dog’s throat. Now that’s just disturbing.
Seek help, Mr. the_Veal. There’s hope yet.
Canyon Surfer says:
Seems I’m not good enough for this one. Have your way with him, hardy. Don’t be gentle.
WSLer says:
<a lot of stuff>
Hey hardy, see why I said you may want to institute that rule about not writing a book about oneself? You take him on if you want, cuz while I can be a mean heartless bastard, I can’t make fun of a post which mentions someone’s mom dying.
BTW, The drugs won’t help you deal with anything, WSLer. It’s just more problems. Besides, making $9.50 an hour, you can’t afford the really good stuff.
Ok, at this point, having run into hardygrrl in the Straight Dope chat room (for info about the chat room, e-mail me, don’t post a question here in the thread) I find that we are double posting. So, at her behest I will just welcome ClairificC:
ClairificC bounces in:
“Somewhere” in California? I have family in LA, so I have an idea what happened. You forgot exactly where in Cali, but there’s a beach, right? So you know you’re close.
A list of turn-ons and turn-offs? Sweetie, this is the Straight Dope Welcome Wagon, not the application for Playmate of the Month. Although a pretty baseball fan I’m tempted to ask to marry me. However, if you want to send me your nudie pics, I’ll be sure to pass them on to my close personal friend, Hef.
[sup]That would be my drinking buddy Stan Heflerson, who we all call “Hef” around here.[/sup]
I like The X-Files ::sniff, sniff:: never missed an episode. I love animals more than most people I’ve ever met. Have read all of the the Harry Potter books 4 times each (and I’m 38 years old).
I love books, steak, seafood and being left alone.
I may have discovered the board after being farked to the main site. However, I was medicated at the time; I may also have gotten the URL from a man in a black helicopter who’s really into making crop circles. I dismember which.
I own a couple-three SD books, and was intrigued to discover a more timely method of getting an info fix.
Han Solo shot first.
My little girl can out-cute most other kids her age by 7AM. She can also get in more trouble than most by 8AM. I think this keeps her average above .500, but I could be wrong.
The early Skeeve and Aahz books were better than the last couple.
I can’t remember who I voted for in the last presidential election, but I’m pretty sure it didn’t matter, anyway.
I’m not sure if I still qualify as a newbie, but I was never really “welcomed” because right after I registered, the board crashed and I had to re-register after it came back up.It wasn’t my fault, I swear!
Anyway, what am I supposed to tell you?
Let’s see, I like to read.
I have cats.
I’m married and have 2 kids.
I listen to country music. I’m gonna regret telling that, aren’t I?
I teach nursery school part-time. I’m off for the summer.
I like baseball. (Go Orioles!)
My favorite TV shows are *ER, Six Feet Under, * and 24.
Please don’t send me nekkid pictures. You certainly aren’t getting any of me.
Oh, yeah, I’ll mention Buffy only to say I never watch it. Going by the number of Buffy threads in Cafe Society, is that a bannable offense?
I can see your Fortress of Solitude. Dimly lit, somewhat musty smelling. A continous loop of David Duchovy on the vcr and the beginnings of Harry Potter slash fanfic in a tattered notebook. Plates with fishbones on them… Skeezix ponders
And not while searching for bukkake porn, I’m sure.
Good God In Heaven, there’s Star Wars bukkake porn? Poor Ewoks with their fur all crusty, not to mention Chewbacca. And wouldn’t semen short out the droids?
A credit card number, expiration date and signature panel code will do nicely.
Let me guess. Your woman is gone, your truck broke down and your father is in jail.
Talk to the Frog. He’s the Naked Doper Archivist. If you receive an email from HornyFrog@BiteMe.com, I would recommend deleting it and DO NOT open any attachments.
I, on the other hand, do not want any naked pictures and am not sending any. Check the OP, Mr I’m Too Busy To Read.
I live in NE Ohio. Which makes me an Indians, Browns,& Cavs fan.
Doesn’t this horror ever stop ?
I like to read, mostly sci-fi, and fantasy.
I watch Code Blue and the New Detectives religiously.
Married, with no kids, and no pets. My wife has stated I can get a dog when we get a fence.
I,m a professional cook, looking to get out of the restaurant business.
Pfft. Pfft, I say. I have been a Cubs fan since the age of three. For twenty nine years I have known great pain. Don’t even get me started on Blackhawks or the way the Bulls dropped like an elevator with its cable cut. On the top floor. You don’t know pain, pal.
I’m not really a newbie, more of a lurker, but I’ve never had an official welcome. I like animals, big red trucks that go fast and make lots of noise, short redheads and, ahh, oh yea, Star Trek.
I like crawling into hot, smokey places wearing heavy clothes and my air in a bottle on my back.
Nobody has ever sent me nekked pictures. I’ve never sent nekked pictures to anybody (yet).
pam2, wtf with the numbers? Think of a new username*
Well, damn skippy to you.
And a floor wax and a desert topping!
fireman checks in
You almost had this short redhead. Up to the Star Trek stuff. I can tolerate a lot, but not Tribble worship. BTW, is it true what they say about men with big trucks? Big truck, small keychain?
My name is ninevah. I’m a 23yo Aussie girl, I hail from a place about an hours drive from Melbourne, Victoria. I like candlelit dinners, relaxing in front of a fire, long walks on beaches… um, actually, no, not really…
My favourite chocolate is Milka, or if I’m feeling really bad, anything by Lindt. I do like Buffy and Angel but my love of Red Dwarf, Futurama and most things comedy and sci-fi balances this out. I like a lot of Australian music, especially Crowded House. I think English and Australian comedians are the funniest in the world. And I think sleeping in is one of the sublime activities ever. (That, and sleeping in while eating Lindt and watching Buffy or Futurama…)
My name is Waenara. I am a 23yo Canadian girl. I will start my sixth year of university this September. I still live with my parents, but that is changing in the very immediate future.
I guess I’m not really a newbie, since I’ve been lurking on-and-off for two or three years.
I like reading books in all forms, mostly science fiction and historical fiction - but anything is good (I just picked my signature today! - very apt).
My name is visible to the left of my post and the last time I checked I was an 18 year old guy.
I’m a first year uni student studying at U of WA, living in a big student college nearby. It’s plenty o’ fun, but I get no sleep.
I like most forms of music, except eminem. I play guitar, badly. I have a pair of fluffy dice in the hope that I will one day have enough money to buy a car.
There you go, that should be more than enough for someone to insult me with.
