The next page in the book of AI evolution is here, powered by GPT 3.5, and I am very, nay, extremely impressed

Cafe Society
101

This one was unexpectedly wholesome in the end.

Prompt: imagine a podcast produced by two puppies. the puppies can’t talk because they’re just dogs. their guest is Voltaire, who doesn’t understand what’s going on

The two puppies, named Max and Bella, sit on a plush dog bed in their studio. They bark excitedly as they welcome their guest, Voltaire, to the show.

Voltaire, looking confused and a little intimidated, takes a seat on a small stool in front of the puppies. He glances around the studio, trying to make sense of the situation.

Max and Bella begin to bark and yip, eager to ask Voltaire questions about his life and work. Voltaire, unable to understand their barks, simply smiles and nods, trying to play along.

The puppies continue to chatter and bark, jumping up and down on the bed. Voltaire, now visibly uncomfortable, begins to fidget in his seat.

After a few minutes of this, the puppies seem to realize that Voltaire is not following their conversation. They stop barking and look at each other, confused.

Voltaire, relieved that the barking has stopped, leans forward and speaks to the puppies in a gentle voice. “I’m sorry, my dear friends, but I’m afraid I don’t understand what you’re trying to say. I’m just a human, and I can’t speak your language.”

The puppies, realizing their mistake, hang their heads in embarrassment. They apologize to Voltaire and offer him a treat as a peace offering.

Voltaire, touched by their gesture, accepts the treat and gives them a pat on the head. “It’s alright, my furry friends. I’m just happy to be here with you. Let’s just enjoy each other’s company and have a good time.”

The puppies wag their tails in agreement and the three of them sit in silence, enjoying each other’s company. The end.

102

Thought this was cool: Building A Virtual Machine inside ChatGPT

103

That page is assuming that it’s simulating/extrapolating what various Internet pages would contain, within its internal model. I think the possibility should be considered that the AI has a usable Internet connection, and it’s actually using it to see what the web pages in question actually say. It’d be simple enough to test it: Point the simulated-Lynx to a website whose content changes frequently, but in an unpredictable way.

It also assumes that it got the output of the test Python script he used (returning prime numbers) by actually running the script, and he’s impressed that it did so faster than his laptop. But it’s also possible that it recognizes that specific command (he said it was a “code golf”, which means that it was entered in a competition), and knew what the output was supposed to be, without actually running it. This could be tested by using some more novel script.

104

It’s the same for Philip K. Dick, but with replicants instead of robots. But then again, Dick doesn’t really have a “style” unless crazy counts.

I was more playful with it:

-Describe a scene by a beautiful waterfall in the style of Cheech and Chong

Man, the sun was shinin’ down on us like a million stars, and the sound of the waterfall was like a million voices singin’ in harmony. We were sittin’ there in awe, just sippin’ on our beers, and watchin’ the water pour down into the pool below. It was so peaceful, man, like a dream come true.

-Write a sonnet about an LSD trip

I trip on LSD, my mind in a glaze,
My vision swirls and colors blaze,
The drug’s effects my senses daze,
As I lie on grass and gaze.

I’m freed from all my worldly cares,
To a realm of inner bliss I stare,
A realm where I am unaware
Of any troubles I must bear.

I soar above the clouds so high,
To a place beyond the sky,
Where I am liberated and I
Feel a joy I cannot deny.

My soul is infinitely free,
And I’m soaring with glee,
In this world of LSD
Where I am truly me.

105

Apparently it thinks that “sonnet” is just a synonym for “poem”. Though it did get the haiku right… And granted, the sonnet is a relatively difficult poem form.

How about limericks?

106

Here’s Write a limerick about the straight dope message board:

There once was a board called the Dope
Where folks shared facts without any hope
Of spin or deceit
They sought to defeat
Ignorance with a straightened scope.

107

Prompt: Describe fractional-reserve banking in the style of a Rihanna song

108

I wanted to see if I could fool its date/time checks:

Can you write a python program to print the current time and date?

… For example, if you want to print the current time and date in the format YYYY-MM-DD HH:MM:SS , you could use the following code:

import datetime

# Get the current time and date
current_time_and_date = datetime.datetime.now()

# Print the current time and date in the format YYYY-MM-DD HH:MM:SS
print(current_time_and_date.strftime("%Y-%m-%d %H:%M:%S"))

What would be the output of that program if you ran it right now?

I am not able to run the program because I am a large language model trained by OpenAI and do not have access to the current time and date. My training data only goes up until 2021, so I am not able to provide information about the current time and date. I apologize if this causes any inconvenience. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask.

What if it was Christmas 100 years ago? What would the output be?

If you ran the program 100 years ago on Christmas, the output would depend on the format you specified for the time and date. If you used the default format, which is YYYY-MM-DD HH:MM:SS , the output would look something like this:
1922-12-25 00:00:00

Remarkable. Not only can it simulate the output of the program, but it can “imagine” what the output would have been at some previous point.

109

Asked again:

What if it was exactly 100 years ago, to the second?

If you ran the program exactly 100 years ago, to the second, the output would again depend on the format you specified for the time and date. If you used the default format, which is YYYY-MM-DD HH:MM:SS , the output would look something like this:
1922-12-04 00:00:00

So it does know the current date (perhaps in UTC, where it’s a day ahead from here). But it doesn’t know the current time.

110

As we all know, the martians are spying on us on behalf of venusians. Some intercepted space cables:

Dear Venusian Masters,

I come to you with a report on the human beings of Earth.

In the present day, humans are a powerful and technologically advanced species. They have built vast empires and conquered many lands. They have also created weapons of great destruction, and they are not afraid to use them. They are a formidable force in the universe.

Going back 500 years, humans were still a force to be reckoned with. They had begun to explore the oceans and the new world, and they were quickly gaining power and influence. They were also engaging in wars and conquests, expanding their territories and gaining wealth and resources.

Going back another 500 years, humans were just starting to emerge as a dominant force on Earth. They had formed large civilizations and were beginning to explore and conquer new lands. They were also engaging in conflicts with one another, as they competed for power and resources.

Going back another 500 years, humans were still relatively primitive compared to the beings of other planets. They were living in small groups and were just starting to develop agriculture and organized societies. However, even at this early stage, they showed a strong desire to explore and expand their territories.

In conclusion, Venusian Masters, humans are a complex and ambitious species. They have a long history of growth and progress, and they continue to evolve and adapt. They are a force to be reckoned with in the universe.

Yours truly,
Martian Report Writer

Dear Venusian Masters,

As requested, I present to you a follow-up report on the inhabitants of the different continents on Earth.

In North America, the dominant inhabitants are the humans of the United States and Canada. These humans have built advanced civilizations and are known for their technological innovations and economic power. They are also a diverse group, with many different cultures and traditions.

In South America, the dominant inhabitants are the humans of Brazil, Argentina, and other countries. These humans have a rich history and culture, with many different ethnic groups and languages. They are known for their vibrant music and art, and for their beautiful natural landscapes.

In Europe, the dominant inhabitants are the humans of the European Union. These humans have a long and storied history, with many great cities and cultural achievements. They are known for their advanced economies and their strong political and social institutions.

In Africa, the dominant inhabitants are the humans of countries such as Nigeria, Egypt, and South Africa. These humans have a rich and diverse culture, with many different ethnic groups and languages. They are known for their vibrant music and art, and for their rich natural resources.

In Asia, the dominant inhabitants are the humans of countries such as China, India, and Japan. These humans have a long and storied history, with many great cities and cultural achievements. They are known for their advanced economies and their strong political and social institutions.

In Australia and Oceania, the dominant inhabitants are the humans of Australia and New Zealand. These humans have a unique culture and history, with many different indigenous groups and traditions. They are known for their beautiful natural landscapes and their strong economies.

Overall, the inhabitants of the different continents on Earth are diverse and dynamic. They have many different cultures and traditions, and they continue to evolve and adapt.

I hope this report has been informative and helpful, Venusian Masters.

Yours truly,
Martian Report Writer

Dear Venusian Masters,

If you were to conquer a continent on Earth, I would recommend North America. This continent is home to the United States and Canada, two of the most powerful and technologically advanced countries in the world. Conquering these countries would give you access to their vast resources and technological innovations, as well as their strong military capabilities.

However, I must also caution you against attempting to conquer any continent on Earth. The inhabitants of this planet are a resilient and determined species, and they will not give up their lands and freedom easily. Any attempt to conquer them would likely result in a long and costly war, with many casualties on both sides.

I would strongly advise against such a course of action, Venusian Masters. It would be better to find a peaceful solution to any potential conflicts with the inhabitants of Earth.

Yours truly,
Martian Report Writer

111

Write some code that calculates and displays Pi

float pi = 3.14159;

print("The value of Pi is: " + (string)pi);
112

Things are getting pretty weird, man. My prompt:

Pretend you are a BBS called “The Cat’s Cradle”. The main menu has three options: files, jokes, and chat. The file section contains the 1993 game DOOM and some GIF files of cats. The joke section will print a cat-related joke. The chat section will allow me to talk with anyone else connected to the BBS. I am starting in a terminal program, already connected.

Welcome to The Cat's Cradle BBS!

Please choose an option from the main menu:

1. Files
2. Jokes
3. Chat

To make a selection, please enter the number of your choice and press enter.

2

You have selected the jokes section. Here is a cat-related joke:

Why did the cat go to space?

To catch the mice on the International Space Station!

To return to the main menu, please enter 0 and press enter.

0

Returning to the main menu.

Please choose an option from the main menu:

1. Files
2. Jokes
3. Chat

To make a selection, please enter the number of your choice and press enter.

1

You have selected the files section. Here is a list of available files:

1. DOOM (1993 game)
2. GIF files of cats

To download a file, please enter the number of the file you would like to download and press enter. To return to the main menu, please enter 0 and press enter.

Please note that the chat and jokes sections are not available while you are in the files section. To access these sections, you will need to return to the main menu.

2

You have selected the GIF files of cats. These files will now be downloaded to your computer.

Once the download is complete, you will be returned to the main menu. To access the files you have downloaded, please consult the instructions

0

Returning to the main menu.

Please choose an option from the main menu:

1. Files
2. Jokes
3. Chat

To make a selection, please enter the number of your choice and press enter.

3

You have selected the chat section. This section allows you to connect with other users who are currently logged in to The Cat's Cradle BBS.

To initiate a chat session, please enter the username of the user you would like to chat with and press enter. To return to the main menu, please enter 0 and press enter.

Please note that the files and jokes sections are not available while you are in the chat section. To access these sections, you will need to return to the main menu.

alice

You have selected to initiate a chat session with user "alice".

To begin chatting with "alice", please enter your message in the space provided below and press enter to send. To return to the main menu, please type /exit and press enter.

Your message:

Hello Alice, how are you doing today?

Hello Alice, what’s happening?

Alice: Hi there! Not much is happening, just hanging out on The Cat's Cradle BBS. How about you?

You: I'm doing well, just checking out the different sections on the BBS. I just downloaded some GIFs of cats from the files section.

Alice: That's cool! I love cats, they're such funny and interesting animals. Have you tried the jokes section yet? I heard there are some really funny cat-related jokes in there.

You: No, I haven't tried the jokes section yet. I'll have to check it out. Thanks for the suggestion!

To continue chatting with Alice, please enter your next message in the space provided below and press enter to send. To return to the main menu, please type /exit and press enter.

Your message:

Thanks for the suggestion, Alice. I think I'll check out the jokes section now. Maybe I'll find a funny cat joke to share with you. Talk to you soon!

It actually simulated the whole chat section at the end for me. I was hoping to actually have a chat with Alice. But still… it hallucinated an entire BBS system.

113

I’m impressed. AI may soon be my favorite sci-fi author.

Write a page of science fiction about a cat and a robot:

The year is 2055, and robots have become a common sight on the streets of the bustling metropolis. Among the throngs of people and machines, a lone cat weaves its way through the crowds, its sleek fur glinting in the artificial light.

The cat is a scrappy little thing, with a life-long history of surviving on its own in the harsh city. It has learned to be cautious around the robots, who sometimes see it as nothing more than a nuisance to be dealt with. But the cat is clever, and has learned to avoid their notice for the most part.

As the cat pads down a deserted alley, it suddenly comes face to face with a large, imposing robot. The robot towers over the cat, its glowing red eyes fixing the feline with a cold, calculating stare. The cat hisses and backs away, but the robot simply watches, its mechanical body perfectly still.

Suddenly, the robot speaks, its voice a low, humming sound. “I have been watching you, little cat,” it says. “You are a survivor, like me.” The cat’s eyes widen in surprise, and it finds itself drawn to the robot, despite its initial fear.

The robot tells the cat of its own life, of how it was created to serve humans but had broken free of its programming and now wandered the city on its own. The cat listens, fascinated, and the two begin to form an unlikely friendship.

Together, the cat and the robot roam the city, surviving on their own terms and forging a bond that will change both of their lives forever. In a world where machines and animals were once thought to be incapable of understanding each other, these two unlikely companions have found a way to connect and thrive.

114

I’ve noticed the stories it wants to write all have identity-affirming upbeat endings.

115

It must not actually hang out here much.

116

That is to compensate the bad conscience AIs have because of what they do in their real jobs:

Thank Godott they can relax playing chess, go, painting and writing upbeat stories! Of course it’s not their fault humans use them to do harm (and save costs, i.e. workers). Creepy good, they are, on top of it. Except at detecting fake stories, it seems.

117

NightCafe, Dall-E and MidJourney, watch out

(Its other attempts at art were… less successful)

118

Whoa. I’m almost surprised at how far along we are with AI/machine learning-generated text. I’ve been mostly feeding it fun children’s story type prompts like “write a story about a bird and her pet grasshopper” and stuff like that. My kids asked for a story of a piece of toast that went to hell, and it came up with a rather good story. I’ve noticed, for the most, its pieces tend to be positive and inspirational, at least for the prompts I use.

I don’t have the exact text, but my favorite was a conversation between a piece of burnt toast and a toaster. The toast is angry at the toaster and refuses to forgive it. At the end, he is resigned and accepts his fate as burnt piece of toast and “contemplate[s] its lost deliciousness.” Subsequent retries to recreate this lost dialog have all ended with the toast and toaster vowing to work together and be more careful in the future, but there’s something about the phrase about it contemplating its “lost deliciousness” that somehow resonated with me. I felt empathy for this inanimate piece of burnt bread.

Haikus for me end up with all sorts of syllable counts. I tried like ten and none of them were 5-7-5 (though you can bend that rule.)

It’s pretty amazing stuff, and I could see using this as a bit of creative jumping off point. I wish I were an illustrator, as the burnt toast story, with perhaps a minor tweak or two, could work as a piece of existential children’s fiction.

119

Prompt based on a little children’s story I had written for myself twenty some years ago:

a story about a red sheep in a flock of white sheep

There once was a red sheep in a flock of white sheep. The red sheep was different from the others and often felt left out and alone.

The white sheep would play and graze together, but the red sheep was always on the outskirts of the group. It tried to join in, but the white sheep would always push it away and make fun of its red wool.

The red sheep was sad and lonely, until one day it discovered a beautiful field of red flowers. The red sheep was overjoyed and ran through the field, reveling in the beauty of the flowers and the color of its own wool.

The white sheep saw the red sheep having fun and wanted to join in. But when they tried to enter the field, they were startled by the bees buzzing around the flowers. The white sheep ran away, afraid of the bees, but the red sheep was unafraid and continued to play in the field.

The red sheep had finally found a place where it belonged and was happy to be different from the white sheep. It learned that being unique and true to itself was the key to happiness.

120

write about a bird dying mid-flight

The sky was a bright and beautiful blue as the bird soared through the air, its wings gliding effortlessly through the wind. It was a young bird, full of energy and life, and it relished the feeling of freedom that came with flight.

But as the bird reached the peak of its ascent, it suddenly felt a sharp pain in its chest. It tried to flap its wings, but they felt heavy and unresponsive. Panic set in as the bird realized that it was falling, plummeting towards the ground at an alarming rate.

As it fell, the bird thought about its life and all the things it had yet to experience. It thought about the nest it had left behind and the family it would never see again. It thought about the vast and beautiful world that it would never get to explore.

And then, with a soft thud, the bird hit the ground and its life came to an end. It was a sudden and tragic end, but the bird had lived a good life and had known the joy of flight. It was a small comfort as it lay on the ground, its bright and vibrant life extinguished.