The No Context repost thread

Repost all or part of a SDMB post that your find amusing, puzzling or strange. But no links or context! I’ll start…

“… faking an emergency to get a 911 ride to Hooters…”

Does it have to be from the Straight Dope? Because I found a great one in the wild.

“There was a family murdered on St. Aubin. Hacked to death. The father had been an occultist with a shrine in his basement. I’m so excited.”

No it doesn’t have to be. I specified that because it would be easy enough to find something that fits the bill from some really dark spots on the web.

Any No Context repost from a mainstream-ish MB or website would be OK.