I love coconut chocolates!
“His eyes are as green as a fresh-pickled toad,
His hair is as dark as a blackboard,
I wish he was mine, he’s really divine,
The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.”
No wonder you’re in hell then, Rilchiam. 
This is my new sig. Thank Wally. It was his idea.
“I made my husband join a bridge club. He jumps next Tuesday.”
Get her something really, really cheap that you know she’s not going to like as soon as she see’s it. Then go on and on about how lovely it is and how much time you put into finding just the perfect thing. Ask her about 20 times how much she likes it.
It’s all in the execution.
A nice, high colonic with a shiney Garden Weasel ought to do the trick.
Yours truly,
aha
How bout a Tshirt that says “I Heart Nursing”, and then smile sweetly and thank her for such a good job.