???
Any suggestions?
My first ones:
The official FOOD of the SDMB is…Poutine
The official NEW SWEAR WORD of the SDMB is…Asshat
Your suggestions for the official (blank) of the SDMB?
Phouchg
Lovable Rogue
The official potato of the SDMB is Yukon Gold.
The official animal is the hamster.
The official one true religion is animism. Hey, I was surprised too. Who knew?
The official movie is The Princess Bride.
The official “state” bird is the Hamster
The offical clown of SDMB is a newbie. 
The official kidney stone of the SDMB is the Calcium Phosphate.
No, the official bird of the Straight Dope is the mortarboard-wearing turkey. Honestly, do you pay attention to the pretty pictures at all? Slug’s not just a slave monkey chained to a desk with a pen implanted into his arm [sub]or is he…[/sub]!
Perish, sophomoric dilletantes.
The official sport of the SDMB is Curling, even the computer kind for us unlucky souls without ice.
The Official Literature of the SDMB is Lord of the Rings.
The Official Deity of the SDMB is Og, symbolized by a hammer.
Og smash!
CJ
The official institution of higher learning is Fucky U.
The official gemstone is the Hi Opal.
The official political system is autonymous colllective.
The official musical instrument is the acoustic guitar.
The official alcohol of the straight dope is Everclear, because we like things rough…
The official SDMB Scottish Highland Games event is the Caber Toss.
The official gentleman’s intimate accessory is the tug-ahoy.
The official gentleman’s gentleman is a hat-wearing simian.
The official musical instrument is the 4-string tuba.
The official food is the beef, bean and cheese burrito.
The official redundancy is the repetitive restatement restatement.