I like your choice of photos- you look like a lot of fun.
There are two "I don’t like…"s in the first couple paragraphs. It’s generally better to avoid that if possible. It sends a negative vibe that can end up making the viewer think negatively about you. It’s also a bit presumptuous- this is going out to people you’ve never met, and it’s a little soon to be giving them orders about their eating habits.
Both of those can be reworded in the positive pretty easily (maybe “I’m the kind of guy who thinks karaoke is even more fun when you can’t sing” and “I’m an adventurous eater. That said, I’ve got not ahem beef with vegetarians, as long as they are up for some foodventures!”)
i want to hear more about the opening a restaurant thing. Do you have a plan for that? Are you saving money? Or is this just a pipe dream? People in general are attracted for focused, ambitious people more than they are to people who drift with the wind. I’d try to present your dream a bit more actively.
I’d fill in a few more details. Paint a picture of who you are. Your perfect Friday night seems a bit lacking, and the private thing kind of worries me. Are naked dance parties what you are going to be doing while we are dating?
Again, in your final “you should text me if” you give the girl an order, tell her something negative, and then appraise her. This isn’t a great feeling from the other side- I’ve never met you, so I don’t really appreciate being told what to do or being told exactly how I’m going to be graded like a lump of meat. I’d tone it down, and keep it open and tilted towards the positive. It’d be much more appealing to say:
"Call me old fashioned, but I really love to meet people face to face. I feel like something is lost in texts, and I’d rather be making friends in real life than staring at a screen.
Also- I’m a sucker for a natural smile. =-)"
I also notice you have no desire for any long-term relationship. That’s cool, and appropriate for your age, but women are going to notice that. When I see that, it tells me “I’m looking for a booty call.”
Thanks for sharing, lots of good stuff on there. In particular, I made use of the instructions for how to change my status to ‘Available’.
Is the journal still available? I poked around and couldn’t find it anywhere…
I believe the journals are defunct.
Well I wish they would funct them again, it sounds like fun.
I had answered nearly 3,100 questions on OkC. Now it says I’ve only answered around 2,800. Those 300 questions gone are more than most people answer in total. It seems they’re eliminating some questions from the system. When I try to compare questions, the number of questions it says I’ve answered changes. I haven’t noticed any changes in the percentages though.
Bastards! I’ve got some of my best writing in the Journal.
Just checked, mine is still there. Enjoy it while you can.
I totally get what you’re saying and tried to tweak it around to be a little more positive (it is, actually, the one attribute I’m looking for most in a partner so I’d better show a little myself!), but the line about picky eaters isn’t going anywhere. I’m not trying to attract everyone, after all.
I sure hope so! They’re pretty awesome 
Just popping in to add another OKC success story-- when I finally made it back to TX, I went on a few dates and eventually ended up bagging me a girlfriend. I had planned on dating around a bit longer, but this just fell into place and I’m happy with it.
It sounds like he was taking a passive approach from the beginning when he left it up to you to decide when you’d meet, instead of stepping out and proposing a date himself. If he’s the busier one between the two of you (which it seems), then it only makes logical sense for him to do that. I think you’re correct in assessing “wouldn’t be bad” as a wee bit noncomittal for someone who wants to get laid by you in the near future.
You have nothing to lose by sending an email asking for confirmation. If his answer is anything other than an unequivocal yes, I would conclude that he’s not that into you or is juggling other women and doesn’t want to cop to it. But that’s just me.
Case in point:
Why wait? Rule 34 says there’s already Golden Girls pr0n out there.
Someone replied with a link. I have not clicked on it.
But dammit, I’ve been outgunned by reality again.
At least OKC allowed me to correct the typo, should be “as she gets older”, of course.
Thanks for this and also Maastricht’sadvice which I thought very cunning.
In the end we ended up chatting on Skype before I contacted him. Looked it was all on but a day later then he claimed he had to work. It might even be true, though I strongly suspect one of your above reasons, also because of the way it was communicated. To me the point is moot in any case - if he wants to come back and make a big effort then we’ll see, but right now he’s slid right off my priority list.
Good call. Never make someone a priority who makes you only an option. If he wants you, he knows where to find you. And if he doesn’t want you, you don’t need him.
That is good advice.
Date tomorrow with one of my highest matches within 25 miles.
The funny thing is that no more than 30 minutes after those plans were made, I got a text from the woman I had one date with, who I have been playing the busy-reschedule-can’t-make-it-reschedule game with ever since…she wanted to get together tomorrow for a run. But odds are something would have come up anyway.
So two questions…considering what even sven said, should I even bother trying to find another time this week or next weekend for her? It’s pretty apparent that our schedules (or something) simply isn’t working.
Second question: I am making a batch of apple butter, inspired by this thread. I was chatting with my brother on FB, and one of the first things he said was not to take a little jar for her, if it was the first date. He dropped off before I had a chance to ask why. Why is that not a good idea? I was actually kind of leaning towards taking some.
Take my advice for what it’s worth, as someone who has a lot less practical experience with the dating dance than most, but I do think you have an opportunity to be a lot smoother by not taking it on the first date. You show up, talk about each other and mention hobbies and stuff. You mention you like experimenting with food or whatever, and that you just recently made a batch of apple butter. If she doesn’t like the notion of apple butter, you know it’s not a good gift. If she likes it or finds it interesting, you’ve not only made a connection, but if you can get a second date you can show up with that and cement things further.
Conversely, if you show up to a first date with a gift, it’s possible she might think it’s sweet and thoughtful, but it’s also possible she might feel weirded out or guilted. First dates are just to get to know each other, and bringing a specific gift might be seen as too forward or just not understanding the rules of dating. (One of my big social anxiety triggers is when and how to give a gift, and if my date showed up with something when I wasn’t expecting a gift exchange I’d be put off for the rest of the night.) And if she really doesn’t like apple butter, the dislike might outweigh “the thought that counts.”
And, of course, if the date doesn’t go well and you don’t get a second date, you’ve just lost a jar of apple butter. 
Better to wait until the second date, all things considered, when you’ve established more familiarity.
Thanks Bosstone, I will take that advice. I if I have any opportunity to look smoother, I will take it!
I should say that is not something I would normally do, I only considered it because it came up in conversation already and it kind of ties in to the date.
Still, I would of course rather not take any chances. And because I’m in an optimistic frame of mind, I’m sure this will lead to a second date, at which time I can thrust my home-made goods upon her.
That didn’t sound right, did it…
Oh, btw…house smells heavenly this morning. Even if you don’t eat apple butter, it would be worth making a batch for the smell 
It’s not good advice. It is excellent advice. I think I and several other people in this thread should stick it on a post-it on top of their computer screens.
Your questions. I’m with Bosstone and your brother on the apple butter dilemma, even if it does sound delicious. But, yes, funny as it sounds for being such a little thing, I think it might make someone feel under pressure.
The first question, though, if I read your description correctly then you have both been re-scheduling each other and/or you have been re-scheduling her. In that case I don’t see why you shouldn’t try and re-set the date, provided you are interested. Sure, she might get fed up with being plan B and vanish, but I can’t see what you stand to lose.
Sex aids such as apple butter are best not offered on the first date.