Will the last person in this thread please turn out the lights.
So, tonight’s date was…ok. Sort of.
He didn’t really look like his picture: it’s old, by maybe 5 or even 10 years. I didn’t think guys did that. It’s not like he doesn’t look like his picture at all, but I’m glad that he saw/recognized me first because I probably wouldn’t have recognized him! Picture Guy is cuter, unfortunately.
He’s not unattractive, though, and the conversation was ok (we talked for about an hour), and he does have a pretty nice smile. I didn’t feel any chemistry but I wasn’t exactly turned off, so I decided to at least see him one more time. We agreed that he’ll let me know when he’s back in town (in a week or two), and we’ll try to get together then. Things kind of fell apart when we left, though: first I had to politely turn him down twice – and almost a third time – when he repeatedly tried to walk me to my car (we were parked in totally different directions and there were zero safety concerns; it just would have been silly), and then he went in for the goodbye hug and tried to kiss me. Like, kiss me. I did the “peck on the lips” thing, but I could tell he’d had more than that in mind. And that kind of turned me off.
So, I’m just going to see what happens/how I feel whenever I hear from him again. But I won’t be sad if I never do. grin
At the very least, it was good practice. NEXT! 
I was just logging on to see if you had checked in and post some stuff myself!
Hooray for practice! Sounds like it was quite a ‘breaking in’. Are you sure somebody didn’t hire a guy to do all the stereotypical ‘wrong’ things?? 'Cuz wow.
I have heard that guys post misleading pictures, too. Usually they have more gut, less hair, and are 3 inches shorter than they claim, according to my sources.
Like you said, though…NEXT!
Looks like I’m in ‘next’ mode again, too…what I thought were two really good prospects are exhibiting all of the communication patterns that say ‘I’ll talk to you if you initiate it, but meh.’
Heh! The more I think about it the more I probably won’t bother seeing him again, but I’ve definitely had worse first dates/meetings.
I’m also not going to write to the guy who messaged me back in November: I’d decided to, but when I got home last night I took a deeper dive into his profile (i.e., I looked at his answers to a bunch of the OKC questions) and I wasn’t thrilled with the picture I started getting of his personality. So, it’s time to start from scratch and do some searches.
I got to the coffee place first, and while I was waiting I kept seeing all of these seriously overweight middle-aged guys and thinking, “Oh god, I hope that’s not him!”* I really hadn’t considered that he might not look like his picture until I got there…which shows how long it had been since I met someone from a dating site.
(*Ok, yes, I’m a hypocrite: I’m overweight, myself. But I’m “looks like I enjoy threesomes with Ben & Jerry” fat, not “looks like I might have a heart attack if I walk up five steps” fat: the guys I’m talking about were scary! My thinking about overweight men has always been (the old) Drew Carey = no problem, (the alive) Chris Farley = no thanks.)
Dude, sorry.
Last night he asked about getting together again. I passed.
And then I sent a message to someone new on OKC.
Now you guys are all caught up. 
It’s dark in here… 
When I wrote that, it looked like everyone else was on the verge of imminent success and I’d be the last one keeping the torches burning here.
Now the tables may have turned a bit. I’ve received three replies to my profile in the last few days.
Congrats and good luck!
Had two ‘hits’ off SoulGeek. One I didn’t have great chemistry with, but we’re still chatting and the like. The other, I suspect, I messed up; I was having a bad evening and wrote her an email that may’ve come off a little too defensive / harsh.
The guy I wrote to on Thursday night replied within 24 hours: a couple of messages later, we’re at the “we should meet” point. We’re comparing calendars, and I’m hoping we can set something up for this week/weekend.
(If we do, two dates in two weeks with two different guys will be some kind of a record for me! :D)
Go get 'em, tiger! 
Seriously, that’s very awesome. Good luck!
And, frankly, I’m just as likely to be the “last man standing” in this thread…
Was that site discussed earlier in the thread (most likely at a time when I wasn’t lurking)? I don’t remember ever hearing about it before. I’m at work right now, so I don’t want to Google it/can’t check it out. What’s it like?
It sounds like a dating site for African-American nerds…
It’s a site for those of us who are into sci-fi, gaming, fantasy, or any other ‘geekdom’. It’s not very-well populated at the moment (seems to’ve hit its peak around 3 years ago, then sort-of sloughed off after that), but I’m finding that people are, in general, pretty responsive to ‘hails’ (the equivalent of ‘pokes’). The site interface is a bit outdated, which surprised me, but I’m not really there for fantastic interface…
…Or am I?
Whew. Maybe I’ve read too many feminist boards, but I’ve always understood it as a guy who won’t take no for an answer in a casual setting like that, is more likely to not take no for an answer in private as well.
Nah, that’ll be me 
I do have a nice chat going on OKCupid, but he doesn’t want kids according to his profile.
And I’ve not rearranged with my old friend from PlentyofFish - I can’t decide whether I should suggest another date, or wait till he does, given he was the one who had to postpone!
Oh, and I’ve hidden my PoF profile too. That has to be symbolic of something, but I’m not sure what!
Make that three dates in two weeks with three different guys: I’m having dinner with OKC guy on Thursday (and looking forward to it), and I wound up having dinner with IRL Guy #1 last night (he called completely out of the blue to finally ask me out).
Not only a personal record, but I’m fully expecting snowballs to start kicking ass and taking names in hell.
Ooooh, now I gotcha: it’s “soul” as in “mate,” not as in “train.” I’m not sure what it says about me that my first thought was Don Cornelius…
I don’t necessarily think that pushy = rapist, but I’m glad it’s a non-issue with him.
No, but I kind of agree with hermette. I remember one guy I met from EHarmony. We had some really nice emails and a truly great first meeting over coffee. I had explained to him prior to meeting that I would prefer our first meetings take place near my home base (rather than hiking in the wilderness).
So we have coffee, he emails almost immediately asking for dinner (that was good) or hiking or something, suggesting that perhaps we could go bird watching and have a picnic in some off the beaten trail place he found.
I replied in a fairly tongue-in-cheek sort of way that
That was just a snippet of a rather nice reply to his whole email and I get the following in return
Really? :rolleyes: We spent all of 90 minutes together talking in a Starbucks and because I won’t surrender what I consider rational caution when online dating I’m questioning his integrity?
And even if it’s not rational, any person (man or woman) that doesn’t respect the comfort level of another person is not a person I want to associate with. Bullet: dodged.
My track record suggests otherwise, but we’ll see.
Also had a wink from someone on another site, who deleted her profile before I could even see it. I assume she was either too intimidated by my evident charm and good looks to follow through, or sobered up and came to her senses. The internet has many mysteries.
Thank you - that’s a less paranoid-sounding explanation of what I think I meant
And - ahahahahahahaha! OKCupid just suggested my evil-exboyfriend as an 81% match! Umm, no. No thanks. Really.
I think that eHarmony may have sold my email to some sort of porn site. I’ve been on for three weeks now, and for the last two weeks I’ve had a TON, as in 15-20, emails from pornographic sites. I can’t ever remember getting any before and now that they show up right after makes me wonder.
It’s quite odd, I’m getting photos of nude women in my spam folder. I know I don’t sign up for those things and the only other spam I get are trying to sell me stuff from Asia.
I guess there’s so much porn they have to email it to you now a days!
On the dating side I have at least one offer for a date, now I just need to hear back from her on when. There’s also another woman who I asked for coffee last night so I’m waiting to hear back.
If it helps, I’ve been in their system for (4) years, though I have only had an active account for less than a year of that time and I have not noticed any increased weird spam. Porn or otherwise. Not that they aren’t responsible, but I don’t even get email from them anymore after I unsubscribed to their mailings.
My ex showed up in my quiver a couple of days ago; I wonder if I’ve ever shown up in his. Heh. It’s kind of extra funny considering that we met on OKC.
Yay!
I have no experience with eHarmony at all, but it might be different for you 'cause you’re a girl; I’d think that most porn-spam would be directed at men.
That’s what I was wondering, since I’m a guy they are hoping I’m gullible enough to click their link when I see a nude woman. I’ve gotten 10 since last night. As I’ve said I’ve never gotten an actual nude photo before in a spam email.
Yeah, bad marketing technique - why would you buy their cow, when they’re giving you the milk for free?