Hmm, when I click “My profile”, I expect to see it as other people do. There’s the “Journal” link right where it’s always been. Rather devious of them, really. And if they’re not linking to it, I wouldn’t be too surprised if they just deleted it altogether.
(I tried to log out view my profile that way, but it wouldn’t let me see anything without logging in or creating a new account. Does OKC not allow any anonymous browsing anymore?)
It depends on your account settings: you can choose to let your profile be public, or viewable only by other OKC members. You can change it as often as you want.
I don’t know how my account is set as the browsee, but how does the browser get to it? Once I’ve logged out, the site doesn’t give me any options except logging in or creating a new username.
Hi all,
Thinking of throwing my hat into the ring. Could anyone tell me if there is a decent amount of profiles for South Auckland, NZ? NZ can be weird sometimes by using local equivalent sites (e.g we use trademe.co.nz instead of ebay and have low twitter use rates.)
Would OK cupid be the best service to use?
hugs
I can’t speak for everyone, but I’d deal with it by not dwelling on him, and start making plans with your back-up guy. (you do have one, right?) 
Thank you - I’m seeing him on Friday for coffee! Nothing like getting back on the horse, eh?
Jaguars! - I just did a quick search on OKCupid and lots of men aged between 20 and 50 came up within 25 miles of Auckland. Apologies if you’re looking for women
You have to know the username associated with the profile that you want to view; then, you browse to the URL (for example, http://www.okcupid/profile/RobotArm2).
Good on you! 
A lot of ladies seem to find this alternative preferable to dealing with men.
Thanks, yes agreed dating SUCKS! (all caps!)
Thanks so much hermette. I am trying not to dwell on him but I’m having a hard time picking my jaw up off the ground that someone would act so rudely. I really thought he was a nice guy, and he went from nice to uber-douche so quickly. It’s very surprising, and I can’t help but feeling angry at being treated so rudely. I guess I just feel like I was being treated as a commodity, not as a human. I’m just honestly very curious what happened, why he went from interested to not interested so fast, and how he thinks it’s OK to just go radio silence so suddenly. It’s so cowardly! I keep going through every detail of our last date to try to figure out if I did something wrong. It’s a real bummer. :mad:</rant>
And hermette, I suppose I do have a “backup,” but I just hate that I spent so much effort cultivating a relationship with “Zed,” to have all my energy just wasted, for some unknown reason.
Lastly, Dopers, what say you – should I say anything else to him? Any classy way of telling him what he did was shitty? Or should I just leave it be?
I guarantee, you did nothing wrong. Were I to guess, I would say that he was having similar experiences with at least one other woman, and just decided to choose.
Definitely shitty for him to just drop off the face of the Earth, though. A simple e-mail would at least have been nice.
Well, little thick skin built up, but don’t let it scare you off. And I’d delete his number and e-mails…there’s nothing you can say to him that will make a difference.
“Zed’s dead baby. Zed’s dead.”
ETA
It does, except for when it doesn’t. Stick with it.
Robot Arm, I just want to say, how you doin’? If I lived near you, I’d totally be winking at you!
+1 on this. Sooner you move on, the better off you are. Look at it this way: he’s a rotten person, and you got to learn this sooner rather than later. Onward and upward!
Sicks Ate, your words really have made me feel better, thank you so much. And thanks for the laugh 
THANK YOU pseudotriton ruber ruber! I love you guys!
Ugh. Checked my messages at POF and I get shit like this:
Seriously?? :rolleyes:
Is anyone else using POF? I am also doing OKCupid, but I am not getting as many “bites” at OKCupid as I am with POF. I probably need to work on my profile at OKC.
If it makes you feel any better, I recently had this exact same thing happen to me (except I am male). I can’t explain it either. The communication line went dead so abruptly that I thought something might have happened to her so I wrote to check three times just telling her to say she wasn’t dead or something. Nothing. Now I am pissed not because I liked her that much but because I didn’t know the game I was being sucked into. She is a lawyer though. Maybe they really don’t have a soul.
Shagnasty, thank you so much for sharing your story. It is nice to know I am not alone. At first I thought it was so out of character to not hear from him, that I worried he was run over by a bus or something, but then I saw on POF that he has logged into his account each day since. :rolleyes: He’s in banking, so maybe they have no souls either. Perhaps your lawyer and my banker got together and will live unhappily ever after?
But yeah, it is infuriating to write a “hello? are you there?” email only to be ignored. It shows big time narcissism and lack of empathy. :mad:
Doin’ pretty well these days, thanks. Next time I’m in Northern Virginia, the coffee’s on me.
I forgot to mention this earlier: I was hanging out with the new guy on Sunday night, watching Game of Thrones, and my phone buzzed in a way that meant I had a new OKC message (I have the app installed). I laughed and told him what the notification meant, and he laughed, too. But since then I’ve gotten two more! Three messages in two days! For now I’m just replying with polite “thanks but no thanks” notes, but I’m thinking about deactivating my profile.
It’s not PoF: I get a lot of similar “hi”/“how r u”/“hey beautiful” messages on OKC (including one of the three that I mentioned above). Just the nature of the beast, I’m afraid. 
I hear there are good women there.
I’m using POF as well as Okcupid, but definitely have been liking Okcupid more. I think the open-ended essay format on POF discourages people from writing much, and thus it’s really hard to get a sense of who people are. For me, this means I don’t often initiate contact with anyone.
I think there are some diamonds in the rough there, and a good first message to someone probably really stands out from the crowd, moreso than on Okcupid, but almost everyone that seemed interesting to me on POF, I’ve also come across on Okcupid. That said, I am supposed to be meeting someone from POF tomorrow evening, assuming she confirms between now and then!