Well, here’s to your health then! 
So - since a few people have mentioned having first dates this week - here’s my general dating safety advice:
[ul]
[li]Choose 1-2 friends to be your “dating buddies.” (DBs)[/li][li]Whenever you have a date, tell your DBs when and where and what time. [/li][li]Forward your DBs a picture of your date, their name, their contact info (including cell phone number) and anything else you know about them (where they might work, live, etc.) Don’t just link them the dating profile - that can be easily deleted. You need to send them actual copies of information.[/li][li]On the day of the date, let your DBs know what you are wearing and text them when you arrive for the date. [/li][li]If you change venues, text them that as well.[/li][li]About 1 hour/90 minutes in to the date, have them arrange to call you to confirm you are okay. Have a code word or phrase to use if you want help or want them to call back later to check on you again.[/li][li]Always have your own method of transportation to and from the date and money available for a cab. [/li][li]Text/Call your DBs at the end of the date to confirm you are safe.[/li][/ul]
It may seem strange or embarrassing to be so cautious, but it never hurts to err on the side of caution. And even if your date sees you being cautious they’ll either respect it, or be wary that people are looking out for you. It’s a win-win either way.
YMMV - but this method has always worked well for me.
What, no monitoring bracelet on your ankle?
[quote=“melodyharmonius, post:282, topic:540978”]
[ul]
[li]About 1 hour/90 minutes in to the date, have them arrange to call you to confirm you are okay. Have a code word or phrase to use if you want help or want them to call back later to check on you again.[/ul][/li][/QUOTE]
Tradition dictates that you use a reference to a non-existent pet, but feel free to be creative.
I know, I know.
For me - when I started dating again, I was in a new city where I didn’t really know many people. And my current roommate was always drifting in and out of a purple haze between her diet pills and reefer moments.
The check-in call was handy because it meant that I could always excuse myself if I felt uncomfortable or unsafe. Back then, it was somebody calling me from the internet radio station with a fake emergency. If I wanted to leave, I explained I had to go. If I wanted to stay, I told them to get someone else to handle it. If I was unsure, I would tell them to work on it and I would check in with them later to make sure everything was all right.
I realize that guys don’t feel a need to be this cautious - but I hope a few women will consider at least a few of my suggestions, especially if they are meeting for something more than just coffee in the middle of the afternoon.
I certainly agree that it’s in a woman’s best interests to be cautious and I think it’d be smart to follow a few of your suggestions, melody, but doing all of that might just be going a little overboard. My perception is likely skewed, being a man, though.
Like I said, they are just suggestions.
Since on of my DBs was my best friend, she wanted all the gory details anyway - so it wasn’t as overboard as it sounded.
And again, I’d rather that someone err on the side of caution the first few times they go on a date with someone from online, before their bs-meter has time to be finely tuned.
Skimmed past this post 'til I noticed the street names and realized it was Milwaukee. Is the restaurant any good? I might have to check it out.
Another opinion: Personally, I’d rather see people posting their income, assuming it’s accurate. I’ve run into problems before dating guys who make less money than I do–which isn’t to say that I *won’t *date someone who makes less, but that I’d like to know if it’s something that might be a problem. (Because, let’s be honest here–even guys who say they don’t mind dating a woman who makes more money will sometimes have a problem with it on some level.)
Was at least one of you masturbating and describing what they were doing to the other person? Were you acting out a sex scene in text? If the answer to those questions is “no,” then you didn’t cyber. Talking *about *sex isn’t the same thing.
IIRC, you can sort matches both by percent or by distance, filter results by distance, etc.
I made an OkC profile years ago because a friend kept posting quizzes from it. There were a few people I ignored, a few more I carried on fun conversations with, and a couple that I actually met.
1.) The first guy I met, I dated for about two months. He was great, but I ended up breaking things off to deal with some personal issues.
2.) The next guy I met I went on exactly two dates with. He was awesomely fun, but there was no romantic chemistry. We decided to keep hanging out anyway, and he’s now one of my bestest friends in the whole wide.
3.) Around the same time, I happened to notice that one of my local matches was someone I’d gone to high school with. We hadn’t been close, but we traveled in the same circles, so to speak. We met up for dinner to catch up, had a great time, kept hanging out, started dating, and were pretty serious for a while (I pretty much moved in) until he started freaking out about what would happen when he finished his degree, since he was looking at McGill for grad school and would probably be spending at least a semester or two in India and decided that the best reaction would be to break up right them instead of dealing with things as they happened. :smack:
FWIW, most of this was before they enabled the IM tool, and I always have mine disabled on the rare occasions I’ve gone back to check on my profile.
This does seem a *little *extreme to me. However, one thing I’d like to emphasize is **notifying someone if your plans change **and you end up being out much later than expected.
My freshman year of college, a friend didn’t come home after going to meet up with someone from an online dating site. A couple of her other friends and I had the fabulous experience of getting to call her mother to tell her that her daughter was missing. Freakiness escalated as they found her car near the coffeeshop where she’d been going to meet the woman. Finally, about a day after we’d expected her home, she picked up her cell and called to let us know she was okay. Turns out they’d just hit it off really well and ended up back at the other woman’s apartment… but, of course, we had no way to know that, so her roommate was stuck at the police station trying to answer questions about identifying marks in case her body turned up somewhere. Quite possibly one of the worst 24 hours of my life, that’s for damned sure.
I’m not talking about the search, I’m talking about updates that I receive on my homepage. The people you see there are based on what you have in your “looking for” settings. There are only two options for that- Near Me and Anywhere.
Anyone ever just search for random terms? It’s kind of fun to think of some weird, obscure word and find someone who has it in their profile.
Sometimes those searches give people from out of state, or other men though.
I haven’t tried that but I have done random searches of faraway nations like France, Britain, Japan and South Korea.
This thread has been so helpful. I’d love some input on my profile. Please PM me if you wouldn’t mind taking a look at it and giving me some feedback. I’m not quite brave enough to put it on the thread for all to see.
Thanks! And keep this thread going…it gives me hope
Right, but I thought there was some way you could tweak that. Unfortunately, I can’t play around with it at work.
Most of the people that show up on my homepage (the ones across the top and the ones that recently updated something/added a picture/answered a question are in Chicago (about an hour and half from me). In fact I’d say that 10% are near me, 10% are no where near me and 80% are from Chicago (about 90 minutes from me)…Maybe I should move to Chicago.
Yeah, I think they do tend to play a bit fast and loose with “near.” But from what I recall, it was always at least feasible distances for a relationship* (a few hours’ drive vs. hundreds of miles away).
*Says the woman whose boyfriend lives 800 miles away. :smack:
I ended up in a serious relationship with a Canadian due to OKC’s fast and loose idea of “near”. Guelph, Ontario is nowhere near Providence, RI last I checked…
Due to living where I do, a 100 km radius includes a 10 hour drive.
Thanks for the definition. So our *next *conversation was *definitely *cyber sex. 
: I’m okay with it, it was fun.
Not sure if I should post another person’s profile BUT this was a fun read.
Just… woah. Might be cultural or something, but I’m finding this insulting.
I wouldn’t want to date any woman who’d think I am a potential rapist/murderer/serial-killer.
When you meet someone online, no matter what the venue, everyone is a potential rapist/murderer/serial-killer. Man or woman. I would take similar precautions if I was selling something via Craig’s List to a woman. So don’t take it too personally.