Why is there a picture of your car in your profile?
Corrected link.. You may be proud of your car, but don’t include a picture of it.
Your “about me” seems is okay; is there a heading under which you can say what kind of relationship with what kind of girl you want? Now it is a bit like: “This is me, and I want a girl. Period. A girl, for ..a relationship, or something, I don’t know, I’ve never had one. A relationship, I mean.” Which probably isn’t true.
Put more effort in pictures. The self made indoor shot with stretched out arm and the " is this camera working" frown is not sexy. However many men post that kind of pictures, it suggests you don’t have friends who make pictures of you while doing something fun. The smiling picture is much better, but too blurry. Ask someone to make a picture of you in good light and then try MS paint to make better enhanced and cropped pic.
Also, one part of your profile says you’re 19, another 20. What is it?
“No drama”
“No games”
What do these terms mean to you? Because I can’t see any way that it is reasonable to expect online dating to be free of either. Dating is a game; no one can reasonably expect to succeed by laying everything out, warts and all, on the first date. You put your best foot forward, and hold your weaknesses back, at least until a comfort level is achieved later in the dating process. So the game is played; is this a bad thing?
And what the heck is drama, anyway? Dysfunctional behavior, like prison or addiction, or is it lesser stuff, like a job you hate, or bad credit? Whose life has no drama, and are those people really going to be very attractive?
I don’t get what some women say they want.
The moment someone claims “I don’t play games,” you know the game has already started.
Even if it is a little blurry, I would make the picture of you smiling in your room the main pic. It is a much more attractive and approachable picture than the others!
I would add another line or two about specific things you enjoy doing, maybe on the pop culture consumption/hobbies level. What you have is good and shows you have goals and interests, but maybe pinpointing things a little more will help. I’m not that familiar with PoF though, so maybe that comes through elsewhere.
When I see that, it’s either on the profile of someone of college age, say <24, or someone older who has maintained the same mindset they had when they were in college.
Either way, clickie “Next.”
All the profiles I look at are women between 50-60, and they still say that. I am beginning to suspect it is just boilerplate, like “glass half full” and “comfortable in my own skin”. They read it in other profiles, so they put it in theirs.
One comment of No Games/No Drama doesn’t bother me. I think, for a lot of people, it’s a space filler. Sort of like writing “I hate writing about myself” or “I’m new to this online dating thing” or “I’m just as happy in heels and a skirt or jeans and t-shirt”. But if they say it all throughout their profile it’s a red flag for me. “They” usually say that if a person has drama in every aspect of their life it’s not following them around…they’re causing it.
OTOH, someone that really doesn’t have any drama in their life and hasn’t been in any messy relationships…they’re not even going to think to put that line in their profile.
I ran across a profile once and it seemed like every third sentence was something like “I don’t want any liars in my life”, “If you cheat on me or lie to me I’ll leave you, period”, “Don’t even try to lie to me or I’ll break up with you”. All I could think was that if I was the type of guy to cheat on my girlfriends, I’d be dating her. It honestly seemed like she was looking for someone that would cheat on her, like she craved the drama. I’d almost bet that if she dated a ‘nice honest guy’ she’d either move on or find a way to get him to cheat on him (or convince him that he was cheating on her).
The one that I stay away from is the people that are turning over a new leaf. I don’t drink much. I’m happy to go out to a bar once a week, but going out three times a week…not for me, never has been, never will be. If I were to date someone that wanted to stay out until 2am on a regular basis, it probably wouldn’t last long. I can’t even tell you the last time I had a drink. Nothing against it, it’s just not something I make a point of doing.
From time to time I’ll see something that says “My drinking days are behind me now and I’m done looking for guys in bars” or “I’m done partying and it’s time to get serious with my life” or anything else along those lines. They all say to me that this person might be perfect right now, but in a month they’ll be bored and go back to drinking and barhopping 3 nights a week.
Sarah Silverman just posted something on FB that I thought went nicely with the “No Drama” thing.
“If you have terrible luck with roommates, YOU’RE the terrible roommate”
(She tends to post some random stuff that doesn’t totally make sense if you think about it too hard, I just thought it was funny since it’s basically exactly what we were just talking about)
Any woman who has these words in her profile is a lunatic. What is even the point of telling someone not to have “drama” or “games”? As if someone’s going to read the profile and go, “Oh, don’t have drama. Okay, well I’d better not message her.” Plus it’s such a ridiculous request that shouldn’t need saying. I wouldn’t put “Please no repeat felons” in my profile, and anyone who would either has the worst self-esteem or lowest standards humanly possible, or is the kind of weirdo who has managed to date enough repeat felons that it would necessitate writing this request. Stay away from people who make these kinds of ridiculous disclaimers.
I’ve seen profiles that state “no baggage”. :dubious:
I think everybody has baggage, unless they are talking about something very different than my definition.
the “no drama” thing means to me you previously experienced drama because you weren’t very good at choosing grown ups to hang out with. you don’t realize you need to improve at this, rather than expect others to figure it out for you.
I feel this way about profiles that say something like “I’m tired of men who can’t handle an intelligent woman.” You picked everyone you’ve dated; it’s your fault they were a bunch of mouthbreathing knuckledraggers.
I think that might be code for “I’m a bitch” or “I’m super opinionated and I’ll argue circles around you and dig my heels into the ground every chance I get and won’t let you get a word in edgewise if you get anywhere near one of my hot button issues, if you hit one of those topics on the first date, you probably won’t ask me out again. You’ll tell your friends I’m a bitch, I’ll tell myself you couldn’t hold your own with an intelligent woman” It’s the opposite of 'laid back"
From time to time I’ll see a profile that says that they don’t want someone that uses the term ‘laid back’ in their profile and I know it’s an over used term, but it’s what I’m looking for and, dammit, I am laid back. Personally, I’m not looking for a ‘partner in crime’ or someone who asks the question ‘can you keep up with me’.
Here’s a tough one: I’m currently unemployed. Therefore I’m assuming this will make me pretty un-dateable until the situation changes. Reasonable assumption? I’m not angry about it, just thinking rationally. 
Hey folks,
Right now I’m about 3/15 in terms of getting replies from women on Match.Com and Eharmony. Is this normal or am I doing something wrong? I try just to be cordial and honest when I send an email, and I try to talk about something we have in common. I might be shooting out of my league in the looks dept…my last girlfriend though was fairly attractive. I wonder how much of a factor that is. I’m a teacher, sometimes I think I get judged for that (even though I make pretty good money on the side) Right now I’m not feeling that this experience is all it’s cracked up to be.
3/15 is average to better then average. Most guys would be happy to get 3/15. Especially if they’re only emailing girls they consider to be out of their league.
And, no, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. If you heard people saying things like “I got tons of emails” and “I went on 3 or 4 dates a week” and “I met so many new people” think about who was saying those things…they were girls.
I first started on the dating sites because a friend said “Sign up, people practically throw themselves at you” I learned over the next few months that guys throw themselves at the girls (which was her experience), it doesn’t work the other way around.
Yeah, as a lady, I had a ridiculous amount of responses. Most were superficial. It was difficult to find guys that were serious about looking for a relationship. Eventually the “hey baby” or “you look hot” emails were ignored. From what guys say, interest is a lot less sparse from the ladies, but I think most get so inundated with emails that they don’t feel like they have to make the first move. However, once the initial flood resides, I really appreciated the thoughtful, honest emails. I ended up with a great guy. I wasn’t initially attracted to his profile pic, but he actually read my profile (which no one apparently does) and commented on some aspects of it to start a conversation. It may take more time and effort to get some viable dates but your route will weed out the more superficial ones. I don’t believe your job would be a turn off to many women.
Thanks, I never try any of the macho stuff (mostly because that is not who I am), and frankly I’d be okay with a women who is moderately attractive rather than an ultra-hottie. As I learned from my last relationship…looks aren’t everything! What really gets me though is the whole “closing” process on E-harmony. I think it’s fine if someone decides to no longer continue a conversation and simply leaves the conversation, but when they hit that close button it says to me “I have decided I will NEVER consider you”…which to me seems really cheap. I mean if someone we’re to have a conversation with me for awhile, it seems quite abrupt for them to just go ahead and decide nothing will ever result. Obviously after a few e-mails…we have something in common. (I never send an e-mail unless I have one sent back to me…a mistake? I’m not desperate). Just seems a bit cold to me. But I guess it’s easier than writing a message explaining why the conversation ended. Going the easy path and convenience is a virtue these days.
Bit of a rant. Apologies. I’ll keep trying the online scene but when I get some more free time I’m probably going to try speed dating where people can see more of my charming personality. 
Meeting people…and talking…what a concept.
In real life? Not necessarily. I’d want to know more, so I could account for his circumstances: e.g., is he actively looking for work and it’s just taking time to find something new (maybe he was laid off)? As long as the guy didn’t seem like a lazy git, I don’t think unemployment would keep me from going on a date or two.
Online, however, I think you’re right.
So my advice is not to mention your employment situation until you actually meet someone, unless it comes up before then. I definitely wouldn’t mention it in your profile. If possible, wait until the end of the first date/meeting: if there’s no mutual interest, then it doesn’t matter; if the person is otherwise interested in seeing you again, then it might not matter. 
Yeah, that “block” thing really needs to be rethought, especially for initial contacts. I understand some need for closure, but it seems kind of heartless when one person initiates contact and then the recipient basically says “I dislike you so much that not only am I not going to reply, I will actively block you from ever looking at me again.” The sender didn’t do anything wrong. On EH, it’s not even possible to send a first message that’s inappropriate in any way.