Not necessarily - obviously it depends on why you’re unemployed. I messaged a guy who was quite open on his profile about trying to get back into work after a period of illness, and we’ve been together for about 7 months now 
Or one for the other side - I’m an unemployed single mum and managed to get dates anyway!
okay, I’ll stop bragging now.
Yay! 
He’s even one of us now - RealOmegaMan 
<chanting> ONE OF US! ONE OF US! </chanting>
You (and Joey below your post) has this wrong.
This is the female equivalent to the guy saying “Women don’t like nice guys”.
Interesting. I always thought the female equivalent to that is “All the good men are taken.”
Also, I’ve been tending to change my profile every few weeks. The core of what it is stays the same, but I’ve been working on how to phrase myself better. For example I used to say “I’m happy to make new friends, so let’s have a conversation” but I thought that was a bit weak and desperate sounding so now i go with “comfortable meeting new people” with out insisting on an e-mail. Anyways do you think others interpret my changing statuses as wishy washy? I certainly feel comfortable with who I am. Like any text message, it’s hard to communicate things accurately. I also change my photos up once a month or so.
The best line I saw was “carry on baggage only” made me laugh and yes contact was made.
So got an email in September and we chatted by email and over the phone, I guess I got a bit gun shy as this woman seemed pretty good (local, cute, funny, professional, tall you know all the good stuff for me) . So any way contact kind of tailed off and we didn’t speak for 3 months and she had deleted her account from RSVP. Anyway she has reactivated and made contact again, she is away on holidays with her kids and is returning next week. Date has been set and we will see how it goes.
The lesson I guess is that sometimes people are on sites and are just not ready to jump into dating, it can be sometimes the first stages of getting back out there and rediscovering yourself.
In the early days I was using the scatter gun approach, now I am a lot more selective and don’t feel the need to go on two dates a week. My experience has also shown me how to weed out the crazies in most cases early on, although there is one lady who just will not get the hint. Well not hint exactly but last time I said “sorry but I am not interested in going out with you as you are not what I am looking for” harsh but i had tried all the usual subtle ways but to no avail. I think she thought because I paid for dinner on the first and only date that I was into her.
I am the master of ceremonies for this. Now follow along.
I used to say I on my OkC account that I was unemployed and not looking to date, which I wasn’t. I ended up going on a date anyway and that turned into a short relationship. YMMV. Now I have a job though.
I finally got a reply to this. Now I have to decide if I’m still interested. If she takes a week and a half every time, I’m definitely not.
OkC, in an attempt to promote their new app called Crazy Blind Date, disabled pictures on their site for much of the day. I say that’s horrible marketing, but I don’t really have much interest in crazy blind dates.
I saw that. The app, I’m sure, isn’t a terrible idea, but I’m not a blind date guy. As someone on the forums said (paraphrased) “I’m not going to go on a blind date, I’ve never been on one, I’m never going to go on one, I guess I’ll be back tomorrow when we get the pictures back”. There were a couple of threads complaining about it, mostly people that didn’t see the giant banners or read their emails and thought something was broken. I’m guessing that’s why they stopped it after an hour or two instead of letting it run all day.
Also, to really do it right (and I don’t know if this is how the app would work) they’d have to pull the names as well. I’ve been on OKC for long enough that I can put a username with a face most of the time. Hell, I can put a username with a face even for the people that regularly show up on my homepage but live hundreds of miles away…since OKC seems to think I have some interest in seeing people that live in Ohio and Indiana and Canada and Michigan even though I’m in Milwaukee. Actually, about 90% of that feed is people from Chicago and I’m in Milwaukee.
Having said that, if you’re a blind date guy/girl, I think it’s a great idea. Pick a time, date and location and let OKC set you up with someone else that can meet you at the same time and see what happens. IMHO, part of the downside of dating sites, particularly OKC, is that you can over think all these people. You have way to much time and information that it almost becomes to easy to find a reason not to email someone. If you’re shy or looking for someone ‘too perfect’ it’s too easy to say “well, I can’t email her, she, umm, …listens to Alice in Chains and 7 Mary 3” or “I can’t email him, he has a picture in front of his motorcycle therefore he’s obsessed with his toys”.
But tossed into a room with these people, you might find out, ya know, there’s more to them some alternative music and a picture of a motorcycle.
Eh, ok, I’m going to use this post more to bitch about online dating than sharing any experiences - or more accurately the lack thereof - but I promise that I will be seeking advice at the end of my rant, so feel free to scroll down if you want.
Ok, now that that’s out of the way, all I’ve got to say is…fuck this shit. Seriously, my experiences with online dating have amounted to absolutely zilch; no dates, no women showing real interest, no fucking conversations for that matter. Seriously, at this point I can only deduce that my lack of success in the online dating arena - spanning OKC, PoF, and Match.com - has to be because of the age range of the women that in which I’m interested. I’ve said it on these boards a few times now, but I’m 21, so the girls that I’m actively pursuing are going to be within the 18-mid-20’s age range; the thing is, though, that none of them appear to be showing any fleeting interest at all in this entire enterprise, at least so far as I can tell.
With that in mind, I can only assume that women my age are only even bothering with these sites in order to see how many dudes that they’ll be able to entice, yet none of those girls actually take any of this stuff seriously. I could be way off base with that assessment, however, so if you guys feel I’m wrong don’t hesitate to say so.
All of this is even more frustrating when I compare myself to my older cousin, who, as a 24 year old high school dropout, has no job, no career prospects, no educational ambitions, and a child of his own to take care of. The one thing that he does have, though, is an attractive girlfriend and offers from a bunch of other women on top of that. I love the guy and all, but he doesn’t have much going for him, so…seriously? :dubious:
I’m about at the point where I’m gonna resolve myself to get far more proactive with the girls at my uni. The bar scene is out of the question because of the stupid fucking hours that I work, so I’ll just have to try doubly hard I guess.
Rant over. If you guys got any thoughts or advice, I’m all ears.
I wouldn’t worry too much, you’re young. A 21-year-old man is pretty much at the bottom rung of the ladder. Your cohort, 21-year-old women, are desired by all men from ages 14-100, so it’ll be tough for you to stand out. Once you’re a little older the relationship will start to invert a little. I’m a tiny bit past 30 now and I’m shocked at how far simply not being crazy goes.
Of course, I AM crazy so it does me no good.
You should try being 46 and not totally batshit crazy
But hey RS is right, you are in a very competitive group and I wouldn’t stress too much. At your age you need to be a lot more assertive than someone like an old bloke like me…
I don’t know; it hasn’t done me much good.
I don’t think I’m batshit crazy. And certainly not totally so.
hmmm there’s ya problem we all need to be a little bit BS crazy.
I am not sure why I have been fairly lucky, maybe it’s different down under?
I am just past 30 and am still looking…not much success. Can I have some of the juice you’re having?
Based on what you said earlier, I think you’re doing fine, honestly. I’m no expert or anything, but the one thing I’d suggest is finding the site that jibes with your personality. I do better on OKC than eHarmony because I’m a liberal, amoral, unpredictable, nonreligious douchebag. Those EH chicks are so fucking serious! I had gotten to one of the late stages with one lady and she closed me out because I slipped in one kooky question amongst the boring canned ones.
Just side-stepped another crazy! I tried a nice let down text message after a second meeting … and then got the suicidal phone call the next night. Poor guy, I probably came across as confident and having my shit together rather than the reality of me just hanging on to normality like most people! I knew he was going to be one of those who were going to demand a “why?”.
I seem to be going through a bad patch of men 10+ years older than me (late 40’s). I’m not against older men but when they look like they are lying on their profile and have completely different interests to me then I’m outta there. I don’t want to rule out older men but any hints on a line to discourage the really unsuitable ones? I don’t even think men my own age look at my profile (I’m nothing to rave about … probably a 4.5 and have my own set of peculiarities/location issues).