Okay, I’m not sure whether this goes into ‘dating advice’, really, but I wasn’t sure where else to put it.
Using SoulGeek, I met someone. Sort-of. Thing is, she lives on the west coast, and I live in the midwest. We’ve been chatting pretty much every day for four months. She’s very special to me, and I to her, but we’ve not met face-to-face. We’ve both had things come out bad in relationships before, so we’re both a little gunshy.
The plan is to meet in June- we’re both taking simultaneous vacations and meeting in Colorado for a weekend. It’s then that we see if there’s a ‘spark’, and we work from there if there is.
So, I’m wondering if anyone here has advice for someone who is a little impatient and a lot nervous about the possibilities of this either working out or not working out?
I may have to start considering a new online name. Just got an OKCupid message from a guy who’s into amputee men, asking if I’m committed to the whole “liking women” thing, or if there might be a little flexibility there.
I had a similar experience a few years ago while I was East Coast and she was West Coast. We had spoken on and off for years and finally one memorial day weekend I said “F” it and flew out.
There’s no special advice in this situation that doesn’t apply in almost all dating situations. Be yourself. You’re going to be nervous and so is she, level playing field. Get separate rooms in the same hotel, or nearby hotels, meet for drinks, and have a laugh. This should be fun and exciting. You get to take a trip, try new places, and possibly meet the girl of your dreams. Good stuff. Have fun with it. Don’t even think in terms of working out or not working out, you couldn’t possibly know at this point.
I think I let him down easy. It would have required travelling to Germany, changing my sexual orientation, and hacking off a limb; I just didn’t see a future there.
What do you all think, are my standards too high, or what?
Well, by just ignoring all the gay men in Germany with amputation fetishes, you really are taking out a large subset of the population. You should at least consider it.
I actually spent about 2 years without geographical constraints on my search, online of course. I got in touch with some really great people but in the end, it couldn’t work. It’s too bad because in theory it sounds amazing! I still stay in touch with a few and eventually I guess anything is possible.
I met my wife online when I lived in Alaska and she lived in Massachusetts. We corresponded for two years, met three times, then got married. We were happily married for over seven years. So it can happen.
I’ve been sporadically putting stuff in my profile but I just can’t get stuck into it really well. so suggestions and inspiration will be welcomed. I hope to sort out some better pictures in the near future.
It could just be the area you live, but your best possible percentage goes up the more questions you answer. Two hundred is around average. Some of us have answered thousands.
And I invite criticism. I feel like, I don’t know, my profile isn’t really saying anything. I’m looking at what other people put on their profiles and trying to see what I can learn but I’m afraid I’m not so sure what’s best.
Oh, I have a question that came up while reviewing the thread: should I mention the possibility of meeting up (either inviting or just saying it’s something I would like to eventually do) in the first message? I’m not sure how much to push the “let’s go out” part of online dating.
And in case anyone was wondering before clicking on my profile above, I’m 25/M/Straight.
Take off your income, don’t be wearing a suit in your photo, don’t have so many references to attending Harvard, and stop writing what you think women want to read.
Thanks for the first three, actually you are probably right. Changes made. I’m trying to be as honest as possible with the last one, we’ll see how I can work that.
Thanks (on the messages one), that’s good to know though I wish I had asked sooner.
I think you have a well written profile there. I do however have to disagree with removing the suit picture. I never actually saw it but pictures are key and the more you have of yourself the better. Girls like to see a well dressed man and in my opinion a suit photo can do no harm, especially when coupled with casual pictures.
“One final point, vis à vis men, their torsos, and the clothing thereupon: if you’re not the type of guy who can show off your muscles, don’t veer off in the opposite direction and get all dressed up. Outfits more sophisticated than a simple collared shirt fare poorly”
Sorry, but I don’t agree with OKC.
I could see if ALL he had was a bunch of over dressed pictures it would work against him but having one along with casual pictures is perfectly fine. I find that the more pictures showing you in various situations and environments gives the viewer a better idea of the person in the profile.
