I love my main profile pic and the one with the hat, but I also included the two “full body” pics so no one thinks I’m trying to hide the fact that I’m overweight. Hopefully between the four of them I provide a realistic idea of how I look in real life.
P.S.: I already wrote to someone! I did a search and told OKCupid to order the results by match percentage, and the guy at the top of the list was a 99% match. I was curious about the high number so I read his profile, and by the end I was thinking that the OKCupid folks might just know what they’re doing. It’s kind of scary, actually. Now I wait to find out whether I’m his cup of tea…
Do you have any photographer friends? Even amateurs who just enjoy taking pictures? See if one of them will take a few high quality photos of you. Your pictures aren’t bad, but they are all kind of blurry or low res or have slightly off lighting. I suspect you are much hotter than those photos are suggesting, m’lady! For the record: right before sunset is a great time for photos (late afternoon), since it casts a gorgeous light on everything. It’s amazing what good lighting will do for a photo. No reason to sell yourself short with low quality pictures.
I hope I’m not coming across as too shallow, but hey! It’s online dating- you get one chance to make an impression. You are quite pretty and at the risk of sounding like I’m giving a backhanded compliment (I swear, it’s intended just as a regular ol’ compliment): you look WAY younger than your age. Like, play up your great skin! Add a little luminosity with great lighting and you’re going to seriously glow. While I’m not going to post my profile here, I did set it so you could see me in your visitor list. Feel free to creep on my pictures if you’re so inclined, but even mine could use some higher res situations (I’m usually the photographer, not the subject, sadly!).
Your summary is really great, but I’d try to parse it down just a bit. Or at least lead with kind of a short summary, then keep the longer stuff below that. Again: you’re going for an attention getter. I’m the kind of person who LOVES a ton of info, so I get having a lot on there, just make sure you’ve got the attention getter that’s to the point (I put a short summary at the top, then put a whole mess of words in the other sections).
Put your body type. There’s no reason to leave it off, because leaving it off just makes people think you’re actually fused-to-the-couch-getting-cut-out-of-your-house-by-the-fire-department fat (which you clearly aren’t) OR that you lack confidence in your figure. Confidence is sexy and you definitely have a reason to be confidant!
I don’t want to go down the “high quality photos” route: that’s working a little too hard for online dating, IMO. Candid photos are never going to perfect, these are the best I’ve got, and I’m ok with that. Know what I mean? I do feel that overall they provide a good representation of how I look, but I’m definitely more attractive in person than in pictures. Lots of people are. Nothin’ I can do about that, except hope someone finds me cute/interesting enough to take a chance on a coffee date. You’re not coming across as too shallow at all: I definitely get what you mean, I’m just not sure I agree that I’m “selling myself short” with my photos.
As for looking way younger than my age, I know that I do (and I always take that as a compliment!); in fact, I mention it in my profile as being the thing people probably notice first about me.
I can’t see visitors; I have that feature turned off.
I definitely feel like my summary is too long, but I’m not sure what to cut/move elsewhere. Any specific suggestions?
Here’s where OKCupid has changed since I last used it: I don’t remember there being an “overweight” option before, only “a little bit extra,” “curvy,” and “full-figured.” I don’t like any of the latter, because the definition of each of those is in the eye of the beholder (plus the last two feel like euphemisms). “Overweight” is both straightforward and true, and is the one I’d pick if I had to, but couldn’t that also imply “fused to the couch”? I was hoping that my pictures and the fact that I’m a working musician would speak to both my body type and my self-confidence…I’d love to hear more opinions on whether I should include that…
I really liked your profile and I’m only writing this because you specifically asked for a critique.
The only thing I would change is to put the Politics and Religion part of your summary below the “Other Stuff”. I think that you probably put those up there as a sort of filter, like, if someone is going to have a problem with any of that then there’s really no point in going on. Which is true. However, I tend prefer someone who opens with their passions and loves (jazz, dog) . To me that comes across as a more positive, fun person rather than someone who is trying to weed out the rejects. Which you rightly are (probably), but I wouldn’t be quite as upfront about it.
I agree with you on photos, btw. Mine are like that, too. Decent, but not like super mega nice flattering shots. Yes, people look at the pictures, but I think a truly interested person will read the profile and think “Yeah, she’s interesting and my type of person, and she looks like someone who I could have chemistry with”. That’s really all you need. And as women we have the advantage anyway, so I agree.
Do keep us posted on Mr 99%. I’ve never had a match that high and am curious to see if that was born out by reality.
Awesome; thank you! I’m about to update my profile right now, so this is timely feedback.
Hmm, good point. You’re right about the “filter” thing – my summary started off as a “things you should know about me” rundown, but then I decided that angle way too serious – but I think I will move that stuff down. I’m also going to tackle the “favorite food/music/movies/etc” question today, and move some of the music stuff down there. And I’m going to list my body type. Why not, right?
Whenever y’all see this post, feel free to check out the updates…
I’m not holding my breath – he was online yesterday morning and I’m fairly certain he got my message, but so far no response – but I’ll definitely let you guys know if anything comes of that.
I wanted to add something to the Journal on my OKC profile tonight, and I got a page telling me that feature is being discontinued. (It’s been de-emphasized for a while; new profiles couldn’t start a Journal, but old ones were still viewable.) Now it seems to be going away for good. But, it did allow me to export the contents and have it e-mailed to me.
So, if any fellow dopers have anything in your Journal that you wish to save, you’ve got until December 2nd.
I’m rather bummed, actually. The stuff I wrote there, random observations and ephemera, were probably a better indication of who I am than anything in the more structured part of the profile.
And I took the “BIG WORDS ARE SEXY” test. One of the definitions for “bamboozle” was “to build out of bamboo”. I had a brief, existential crisis between my commitment to knowledge and my appreciation for a good pun.
I think if I saw someone with lots of stuff on their journal* on OKC, I think I would think that this person had a bit too much invested in online dating. YMMV.
*This is the first time I’ve heard about it. I obviously signed up after the phase-out.
I haven’t been in this thread for a while, not because I’m having so much success in the dating world, just the opposite. I’ve been on a couple of awkward dates, and one date I thought was GREAT, but my followup text went unanswered.
I don’t know how to send a text that says “did you not answer my text because you didn’t get it or 'cause you didn’t want to?” without sacrificing some dignity. So that was that.
A few days ago I found alikewise.com, a dating site that lets you list favorite books and lets you search for matches by theirs. So far I’ve found more books to read than men to date. It did seem like folks here might be interested in the site.
I wouldn’t say it’s overrun, but everyday, within my search range I get about 5-10 new people and I’d say 1-2 of them are fake. I normally report them and on a weekday, during business hours they disappear within a few hours, if it’s over the weekend, it usually takes until Monday.
The only reason I bother to report them is because I don’t want them wasting a space in my Daily Matches or showing up for a week in my Who Viewed Me/Who Winked At me if they do that. This makes them go away faster. If an account is more then a week old it’s usually legit.
Well I get 2-3 fake people contacting me every day so that seems like a really high number to me. How many people fall for these scammers? Maybe there are a lot of dumb age 50+ men who think a hot 30 year old girl wants to meet them?
Am I the only person who keeps seeing a lot of women with pictures of their dogs on match? Very few cats but lots of dog pictures. Some of them are women with their dog but a lot of them are just a picture of the dog.
I’ve seen cats as well. It could just be different in different parts of the country. Cats might be more common for city dwellers.
(ETA: Could be different on different sites, too; each brings in a slightly different demographic. I haven’t checked match for ages.)
I thought I might have some marginally good news to report, but apparently not. I sent a message to someone, got a very nice (but short) reply that she was busy but invited me to continue the conversation, so I replied to that. Since then, crickets.
Now I wait to find out whether I’m his cup of tea…
