See, “newly single” implies, to me, that I just got out of a relationship and might not be ready for another one. Of course, I’ve been on the site long enough that most people probably recognize my face at this point. I started to put “Finally Divorced!!!” but I don’t what to put of the “My ex wife was a bitch” vibe, I understand that’s not really a turn on.
Okay, I just changed it to “Now Single!” I think that’ll do it.
How about “New and Improved–now with extra singleness” ?
I like this much better than just “newly single”.
You roll your eyes, but that’s actually pretty impressive. Not everybody is able to recognize their own irrational prejudices and cram them down deep inside to avoid inflicting them on everybody else.
I’m mostly just here to announce (brag, gloat)…the system seems to have worked. I met someone on eH; the usual guided communication, followed a flood of emails, getting to know each other better and better – leading to a first date last Thursday (which was awesome, although it ended in just a hug); a second date on Sunday (with kisses) and last night (passing a significant major milestone, ahem). We definitely got a Thing Goin’ On and I can’t stop grinning.
My only problem is that I’ve got 15 or so women in various stages of eH guided communication, that I can either ignore or close. Dunno. Don’t care. 
Go, you!!! Congratulations on the relationship! I had a first lunch date with someone today that went well. We are having dinner tomorrow. Wish me luck!
Back to back dates…sounds like there must’ve been some sparks. Good luck!!
I’m going to go write dark poetry at a Starbucks now.
I do this. It doesn’t mean I’m not interested. I just need a little time to process the message, and decide how to respond. When I first read the message, my mind is literally blank. It’s not until I’ve let it simmer a while that I know how I want to respond, or if I’m interested. (I do send a polite no if I’m not.)
I also don’t check dating sites (or any sites, or e-mail) every day. I try to sit down once a week or so and check all the messages, but sometimes it’s longer. I’ve been told that people interpret this as not interested, but it’s just the way my life works.
Okay, to keep this thread moving, can we talk about things we don’t like to see in other’s profiles.
-No pictures with kids unless they are yours or at least a big part of your life.
-No pictures with similar aged guys unless they are family…and you explain it.
-----(These are both easier with OKC where you can add captions, I wish Match would let you add captions)
-Don’t start off your profile with “I’m only doing this because…” If you’re only doing it because your sister did it, or your friend made you do it etc… It doesn’t make you sound like you’re ready for a relationship.
-For the love of god, more then one picture of you, and in different settings. I’ll leave this one alone, I think we’ve all seen profiles with shitty worthless pictures.
-Grammar and spelling. This is HUGE for me. There have been people that based on pictures and what they wrote I could spend my life with (on paper anyways), but the grammar is sooo bad, I can’t take it. I understand if you learned ESL, but some of these people just write like they never made it out of grade school.
Got two winks overnight and have two more things to add to my list.
-You shouldn’t be doing the kissy face* in all 5 of your pictures. In fact, I’ve always found it odd when you have plenty of pictures in all different settings but have exactly the same look on your face in each one.
-Here’s something not to put in your profile “I am kinda the type guys hang out with, but never actually date”…If no one else wants to date you, why would I?
*That’s not her, just a picture I found on the internet.
Ahh, yes, the dreaded duck face. Not a good look and even worse when a guy does it (and yes, I’ve seen some).
I think another good tip would be to be careful of your 3 words on OKC. I ran across one profile the other day whose self-summary ended with “I am introverted, alienated, and lonely.” Not a good way to sell yourself. I thought at first it might have been a joke, but the rest of his profile didn’t seem to bear that out.
I was going to make the comment that “even on a girl, it still makes you look like a douche bag.” Except this girl didn’t look like a douche bag, she looked like her username “Amanduh” (with some other letters and numbers)
That almost sounds like a cry for help. Like they looking for someone to come and rescue them. Did their profile almost sound like a blog? “Today I was walking down the street and a dog kept jumping on me while the owner totally ignored it, asshole”
Ya know what’s funny. I changed my profile picture to one that I didn’t think is “good.” I need a haircut and a shave, I’m wearing an old T-shirt, I’m talking so I have a weird look on my face, my body is in an odd posture since I was leaning on a table after our plates were cleared at a restaurant ( http://www.okcupid.com/profile/joey31415 ) and since I changed it to that, I’ve had an email and three winks in just a few days*. I wonder how much of it is from that, and how much is from changing my status from separated to divorced.
Too bad the one I was hoping to catch the attention of either turned her profile off or left match altogether and my number two only signed on once since I made the change and sent her an email, didn’t even look at my profile, hopefully she will next time she signs on which seems to be about twice a week. My fear is that by the next time she signs on she’ll have 30 more emails and mine will have been forgotten about.
*I’ve been on match for about 6 months, so I’m at the point where only one or two people look at my profile each day since most of them have already seen it.
No, but if I recall, under the “What I’m doing with my life section” he wrote “giving up”. I have a very good sarcasm meter, but either he’s one of those people that try to be funny and just can’t pull it off or (and I’m going with this option) he’s really that screwed up. But, in his defense, at least the giant red flags are out there in his profile.
As for the sudden interest after your profile pic change - I’m not sure, maybe it’s because it’s natural and completely not posed?
You have inspired me! Please visit my brandy-spankin’ new Online Dating Tropesthread.
Make sure to include some sort of comparison between your soul and a raven. Chicks totally eat that shit up.
Gaudere strikes again.
I tried to be really careful…what did I miss?
One of the biggest things I don’t like is the empty profile. For some reason, I get a lot of contact from guys who don’t fill out their profile, or fill it out as sparsely as possible. I hate that. It feels like someone who isn’t willing to show who he is, staring at other people’s lives. It’s borderline creepy.
I also run away from “I’m so lonely” or “I need the touch of a woman to make me whole” or “The nights are long and dark” or “I need a woman to fill up the void in my life.” Yes, those are all pretty close paraphrases. Those profiles feel like the guy is a needy vacuum, wanting to suck all the energy and vitality from my life because his is so empty. I’d rather meet a guy with something to share.