Based on her age, she might be better off with eHarmony than most - as well as with match.com
Part of it depends on where she is geographically - some states seems to frequent certain sites more, at lease IME. Yahoo Personals worked great for me in Colorado, but sucked for me in South Carolina.
My only concern with OKC for her might be that she might run in to some of her students there.
Wow, just found this thread. Anyone willing to critique my profile? I really haven’t had a lot of luck with it in the… year and half? Two years? I’ve been a member of OKCupid.
I think it’s a great ad, and I’m not just saying that. There’s nothing wrong with the way you look, either.
The problems I see; “Atheism and very serious about it”, and being straight edge, which may make you appear sanctimonious in the eyes of some; like you might be some Dawkins-type who would chastise your date for ordering a beer. The first three paragraphs in the self-summary are kind of negative, and a cold introduction to what is otherwise a very human, well-written profile. Maybe save the three “Notes” to the end.
Very well written. At first the three big DON’Ts you have at the very top seemed too negative, but then someone who is a good match for you would be agreeing with them and not dissuaded by them so that works.
Your second, third, fourth, and next-to-last photos are I think the best ones.
Mississippienne, I like your profile. It is well written and tells a lot about you. I am of two minds about the thee “Notes”. On the one hand, if you are getting an inordinate amount of messages from people who those notes apply to the faster you get that information out there the better so I can see you wanting it right away. On the other, someone reading the profile is initially met with negativity, even if it doesn’t apply to them and it might be offputting.
I guess the real question is how well the notes have worked. Have guys stopped writing looking for casual sex? Or are they still pushing through thinking “Maybe I will be the exception.” If it is working,. I guess it is worth having up there.
Also, isn’t there a way to make it so people who write to you have to answer certain questions in order to send the message? Maybe you could set that up and it would help?
Otherwise. Great stuff! You’re a catch.
Thanks for the advice. I moved my Notes down a bit so they wouldn’t be the first thing staring someone in the face when they clicked on my profile; hopefully guys will still read them. I wrote them because I kept getting messages asking for photos of my feet 
and offers to join some polyamorous relationship that I’m not interested in.
I need to scan some new photos soon, but I take like three photos a year that I can stand to look at, and they’re all on there. I’m going to try to smile more in photos – I just really dislike my smile. I haven’t been having any luck on OKCupid; I’m not the prettiest thing out there, but I haven’t gotten a response even when I’ve messaged guys that I thought were interesting but markedly less attractive than what I would prefer.
Thank you! I wish more men felt the same way.
Yeah, I agree with the rest. It’s a good profile. Who can say why the dark alchemy of the internet hasn’t paid any dividends, but I don’t think it’s because you need to change anything.
Mississippienne, I don’t know much if anything about New York City and it’s boroughs, but I wonder if your hard luck is geographical. The stereotype I have of Queens is that it is inhabited with a more conservative type of person than Manhattan or Brooklyn. That’s my only guess.
Other than that if you want to keep trying with OKCupid. I don’t think there is much that needs to be changed. Your pictures are pretty with funny captions, and your profile is entertaining and informative. I think a lot of it is luck. The right person sees the right profile at the right time. Blah blah blah. Maybe, try the quickmatch thing. I have had some luck meeting interesting people that way. It is an easy way to quickly gauge someone’s interest.
Missi, none of the ten guys that must message you a day are interesting enough for you? 
Anyone want to send me photos of their feet? 
Ahh, I didn’t even really consider different sites for different ages, but that’s smart. All of her colleagues/friends aren’t even remotely in the same boat; they’re all either staying single intentionally or married/divorced, so she didn’t even know who to ask for advice. Thanks a bunch!
Is this going to be the norm? The other day I went and played water polo with a women I meet online. She did the inviting. Later that day I wrote a quick note saying I enjoyed meeting her and gave her my email and numbers. She never responded and later changed her relationship to in one. Just seems odd to invite me in the first place.
What do you mean by “changed her relationship to in one”? I have a feeling you started to write something and then changed it.
In other news, I just got winked at by someone I know, sort of. We went to grade school together, but she was in a different grade. I was in the same grade as her cousin. I wish she had sent an email so I would know if she knows she already knows me. I have to look over her profile and if she seems like someone I’m interested in I guess I’ll have a good ice breaker.
And the girl I mentioned at the very beginning, the one I sent all the emails to. She left match.com about a month ago (left as in closed her account). Then yesterday she re-activated it, looked at my profile and closed it again. The only reason I know this is because I was online when it happened, otherwise there’d be no trace of it. I figured, what the hell, and sent her another email along the lines of “I see you’re back, here’s my email address blah blah blah” Why not, can’t hurt?
And another thing. I’ve changed my view of “winks” I used to send them. To me, it meant, “Hey, I’m interested in you, but I’m not sure I’m you’re type, if you like me, wink back and I’ll send you a formal email, but you’re looking for someone that’s 4 inches taller, makes $30,000 more then me and doesn’t smoke, so unless I get the go ahead, I’m not going to spend an hour figuring out what to write” I know others basically view it as a cowards emails or a cop out or whatever, but that’s what it meant to me. Well, now I don’t like them anymore. I don’t send them and I don’t really think much of them (unless the person seems like someone I’d really like to meet).
One = a relationship. In a relationship.
Got it.
Well, there’s a few possibilities…
1)She’s in a relationship with someone else now
2)She’s interested in you and is taking herself “off the market” until she see’s where it goes.
3)She (innocently) thinks you’re perfect for her and she’s planning to be with you
4)See number 3, but instead of innocence, she’s clingy, needy and a drama queen and this is the very beginning of how manipulative she’s going to be when you see her true colors.
5)Other.
Edward…how old is she? Edward, how old is she? Also, if you can slip it into conversation, find out how many ‘boyfriends’ she’s had and how long they’ve lasted. If she’s 25 and has had a lot of ‘boyfriends’ that’s one thing. OTOH, if she’s 30 and has had three long term boyfriends that’s another thing all together.
If you never hear from her again, assume number 1. If you do hear from her again I would assume number 2, which is fine. But watch out for 3 or 4.
So I just looked at her profile where it says “I’m not a member yet, so if you email me I won’t get it”
WTH. I’m not planning to email her, but I’m not sure what I would do if I was going to. I guess my option would be to wink back and hope she sends me her email address (which is what she should have done in the first place).
OTOH, I know she’s been on match for quite some time now, so it’s possible it’s just an old profile that hasn’t been updated since she was new.
She’s 33, I’m 37. I’d say that it’s not me she’s in a relationship with as I haven’t heard from her since Saturday morning. I’m guessing she’s dating someone else now. I just thought it odd that the day we agree to meet she changes her status. :shrug:
Edward, she could have possibly committed to a few dates with different guys and while doing that, gone out with one that seemed like a possibility. But she might not have wanted to break the date or told you on the date. Or she might not have been sure of the other guy’s feelings until sometime shortly after your date with her.
Don’t take it personally - although I would respect her more if she had emailed you back to explain.
Except I met my partner because she’d looked at my newly updated OKC page (I’d just moved to a new area). She hadn’t sent anything, but I liked the look of her and sent her a note saying something like - saw you looked at my profile - then a couple of points about hers. 2 and a half years on now and she’s definitely ‘the one’…!
Well, naturally. Like I said, “If you’re genuinely interested in the person because you looked at their profile after you noticed them visiting yours, that’s one thing.” 
I’ve run into far too many people – admittedly not often on dating sites – who seem obliged to make a comment to anyone who looks at their info, regardless of interest.