It’s like a job interview, man. Unless you look like Fabio you’re going to have to be more interesting than all the other guys who message the girls you’re trying to talk to. And I promise you that they receive a BUNCH of messages a day.
There is no standard formula. I sent a message to one girl asking if she was a gypsy and, if so, would she kindly return my children to me. That was a successful first message. Maybe you’re not into acting like a clown like me but I’ve found that messages of that nature get more replies than messages like “Hello there. I’m Nick. What’s your name? I see that you’ve been to Croatia. What did you like about it?”
Nope, constantly using it. If not ‘actively’ at least refreshing the page fairly often while I’m watching TV. Of course, this is what my profile looks like to me. Maybe it’s fine to the outside world.
And for those of you that have been following my story, I have an update. If you haven’t been, here’s a quick recap.
I emailed her, she replied, I wrote back…nothing. Sent another a few days later…nothing. About two weeks later I sent a 'nice talking to you, if your still interested blah blah blah" and she wrote back. I replied then nothing again. Sent a few more, still nothing. About a month ago I gave up on that one. Partially due to suggestions here that either there’s someone else or she might just be flaky. Soon after that she closed her match account. (This might not be exactly correct, the time line is fuzzy, but most of it is in this thread)
Well, she popped back online yesterday and we ended up on the phone for about 45 minutes. Turns out she had met someone else on match and didn’t feel it was fair to him or her to be talking to another person at the same time. I think that’s perfectly respectable. We’ll see where this leads. Unfortunately, she’s moving about 45 minutes away next week. Not to far for a promising relationship. But I think if we don’t get off to a great start, the distance might become a little too much.
I would think a line like “Are you sure your not a zombie” would work better on someone that put a line like “I’m not a zombie” in their profile then someone who had profile that didn’t involve humor.
I mostly send one-line messages unless the chick specifically asks for longer messages on her profile.
Why? Because I have shit to do. I can’t be typing up essays to every girl I message when only a small percentage are going to bother responding. If they respond that means they’re interested- THAT’s when I can start writing more detailed emails.
ACMelon and tr0ps - those were creative one liners! I have to admit, I’d be more likely to answer those than some others I used to receive.
Edward - when you responded back, did you compliment them at all? Sometimes if it’s just questions, that can be a little off-putting. And compliments on their looks can seem cheesy, but some enthusiasm and compliments on something they’ve mentioned in their profile is always an ego-booster and make them more inclined to write back.
I’d say, yeah, it’s normal not to get anything back. I have gobs of messages I’ve never responded to–some because they were terribly bland generic fishing messages, and some because I just never log on anymore.
How developed is your own profile? Have you filled out information about yourself? Most importantly: did you include a picture? IMO and IME, even an unflattering picture is way better than no picture at all.
At least it will make a convenient excuse to cut things off, if it gets to that point. 45 minutes really isn’t that bad at all–if you meet in the middle, that’s not even half an hour of driving.
I’ve done all the development on my profile. I even had someone help me out with my grammar and such. I’m sure I could add some more, but it’s full. I’ve also got four photos up. I just wanted to know if I was getting the same amount of responses. From talking to my one other single friend he doesn’t get but a couple as well.
Yes, compliments are nice, and to elaborate on the above about commenting on their looks I submit an example of how not to send a 1st email (or even a 2nd). This was the opening paragraph of an “introduction” email:
That just creeped me out more than making me feel complimented and I didn’t even reply back to say I wasn’t interested.
That screams “generic email” that they send out to tons of people. My friend showed me one of the emails she got from someone about 25 years older then her. It was something along the lines of “Based on your sign, you are a funny and pretty girl, you enjoy a good movie and great glass of wine blah blah blah” It was like reading a horoscope. Virtually everything in that email is set up to work on just about anyone. OTOH, I can see how some people can fall for it. Like spam, if you send out enough, someone will respond.
The rest of it didn’t really make the opening any better:
Though asking if I am “up for a glass of wine” lends credence to Joey P’s idea that it was a generic mass email thing as my profile clearly states “Not at all” under “Drinks”.
