Don’t make fun of me! 
I know exactly what you mean. Good spelling and grammar are important to me. I’d rather not help the people who struggle with it (or don’t care) to improve their profiles… it’s kinda like false advertising.
Besides, it’s a rare person who will actually thank you for advice about their spelling and use it rather than get defensive and angry about it. Not worth the time.
Yes, rather than teaching a pig to sing, you should just make bacon out of the damned thing already.
Mmmmmmn, bacon.
I wonder if I’d get more responses if I offered to eat them.
Well, in a euphemistic sense…
Try “U R sooo sexxxy, I masticate just thnking bout u.”
Uhh, for a truly awful story about meeting someone from the internet (which turned into what felt like a first date scenario) you guys should check out my post in this other thread: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=13069624#post13069624
Please. I caught hell for saying Glenn Beck is hot.
((Which, by the way, he still is, ya jerks. Just not in his Christmas sweater.))
Huh. I don’t really understand people who don’t factor personality into appearance at all.
I mean, have you never gone out or been friends with someone who was maybe ugly at first but got cuter over time because they were very sweet and kind? Or been repulsed slowly over time by someone who possessed moderate outward attractiveness, but was actually a slimy scumbag idiot who cries on national television and throws a bible at people?
It’s a factor, but it’s not the only factor. I’ve never heard Jennifer Love Hewitt say anything that made me think we’d particularly enjoy each other’s company. Still seriously hot, though.
There’s a difference between a lack of positives (which JLH seems to possess in this example) and a glut of negatives (exhibited by the Beck).
Yes, but that’s a difference of degree, not of kind.
I mute the TV and watch him. It solves everything 
What is that I don’t even. How do you look at that face and not just want to punch it? And that’s pretty much *the *most flattering picture of him I could find.
No way! First of all, don’t wanna be reminded of the wedding ring when I think someone is hot. Secondly, he has more blondeish hair on TV, not (shiver) whiteish.
He’s much cuter when he’s animated about things he knows nothing about. And muted. Did I mention muted?
Yeah, gotta agree. At best he’s a bland, dumpy old guy. Nothing special about that face. If he weren’t on TV I sure wouldn’t pick him out of a crowd.
The fact that the smile in that photo screams narcissistic manipulator doesn’t help his case, either. That’s seriously one of the least genuine smiles I’ve ever seen.
Glenn Beck just molested me through your post.
As it turns out, the message isn’t optional. Match now forces you to add a message. I ended up clicking yes adding a small message acknowledging that I had emailed her before, and feeling slightly creepy as I hit the send button, but what the hell, why not.
I don’t have anything else going on right now. There’s one girl who got my interest, but I can’t figure out her deal yet. I think she’s just being overly casual or has lots of other suitors right now. I sent her a message, she replied within minutes. I replied back and she didn’t sign on for another week. Okay, when she was back on, she replied to my message (didn’t answer any questions but asked a few, which is a good sign), I replied again. Today is the first time she’s signed in since I sent that message about a week or so ago. Maybe she’ll write back later. 
(This is the robotics engineer I mentioned earlier.)
I am really frustrated with eHarmony. I joined for the year (calendar year 2010), and have been very conscientious. I read all the profiles with an open mind and respond if there is any chance of interest. As of this writing, I have 72 matches sitting in my “Communicating” folder, all labelled “waiting for his reply.” I have had exactly 0 dates.
My eHarmony profile is pretty much the same as my OK Cupid one. Can someone take a quick look and tell me what I’m doing to actively chase gentlemen callers away? The ID is Tink23skidoo. (I’m not getting any dates from OK Cupid either, but at least I’m not paying to be avoided.)