Hahaha, don’t you hate it when that happens? No offense taken, [del]bitch[/del] friend o’ mine. 
It’s actually never, ever happened to me before. I honestly used to think it was an excuse for people to be dicks in the other forums. Until I saw Joey P come in, I thought it was Pit-city. Ah, well. Should I ever go to the great white North of Milwaukee, I’ll be sure to buy you the first drink.
Joey P, I’m sorry people only give you one response :(. That must be horribly frustrating. It seems like there’s no middle ground between “being ignored outright” and “being led on by virtue of trying to be nice”.
I don’t think I got any responses to my last question. Something I’ve noticed about loooong threads, and this one in particular is that they’ll be fairly active for a few days and then disappear for a few days. Then someone resurrects it with a new question, all the other participants see it in their User CP and and think “Oh yeah, I’ve been meaning to ask ____ in that thread.” After three or four people ask, others start coming in and answering and the first person doesn’t get noticed since everyone just looks at the last post thinking that’s the one that bumped it.
Did that make sense?
I think you mean this:
If so, I can’t say that I do, only because I’m in a relationship. But hey, since I posted it again, maybe more people will answer 
Speaking personally, if I don’t answer a question, it doesn’t mean I haven’t read it–just that I don’t have a good response. But I’m not going to respond just to say “I have no idea” (or worse, “I have an idea, but the idea is that you smell funny”).
Shit, I hope my profile doesn’t give that impression.
You may consider attempting to Photoshop out the stink lines.
Not to stir shit up or anything, but I guess I would have figured that wanting to go to Africa would be seen as exciting and exotic by most women. One of the most frequent topics of the messages I get are about me being in Alaska (though there are significantly fewer instances of AIDS and getting your hand chopped off by a warlord, I realize) and I think travel to an uncommon destination is something that stands out. But of course I am looking to attract twenty somethings who could reasonably fall in the “granola” demographic.
And hell, I don’t even have a girlfriend, so what do I know?
Joey P, the only complaint I ever have is when I’m looking at a girl’s profile who seems like someone I could date, but then see that she wouldn’t date an atheist :(. But still, OKC has done a great thing by showing me that there are at least two orders of magnitude more atheist/agnostic girls in Texas than I ever would have thought.
Also, have you found out if that girl still lives with her father yet?
Wasn’t fast enough to edit, but I also agree that the “kids” and “smoking” sections should be filled out on the little stats panel to the right. I understand if they don’t want to put anything for income, job, race, or body type. Filling out height and religion would also be nice, but not mandatory.
Nope, early on in our conversation she mentioned that she likes museums, she also mentioned that she hasn’t been to the Milwaukee Art Museum in 10 years or so (okay, figured that would be a perfect first date). Fast forward to about a week ago. I sent her an email and didn’t hear anything back.
A few days later I was driving downtown and passed The Grohmann Museum. I’ve been driving past it for years and always wanted to check it out. When I got home I looked it up to see what it was about, how much it was and if it was open to the public (it’s owned by MSOE). Got my answers and figured it would be a perfect “reminder email” so I sent her this “have you been to the Grohmann Museum yet? I pass it all the time and always wanted to go in. I looked it up today, it’s only $5.00.” (as part of a slightly longer email). I’m guessing she took that as me asking her to meet IRL (to a point, it was, but it wasn’t what I was getting at). That was 4 or 5 days ago. Haven’t heard back since. On the one hand, she has gone several days without replying in the past (even though she’s online), OTOH, she said “Hesitant, but would consider” to the question about be willing to meet IRL. The problem is, between the time between replies, my suspicion about her living with her dad, the answer to that question about meeting IRL, her mentioning that she has very little time to go out between school and having a kid, her increasing usage of netspeak and a handful of other things, I’m starting to get kind of ‘meh’ about her. I hate it when that happens. It’s the reason I told myself I’m going to start pushing for an IRL meeting sooner rather than later. Emails just can’t convey the tone of a real conversation, they don’t allow for the same back and forth that you can have IRL. For example, when she mentioned that she just watched a movie with her dad, I could jump in and say “Do you still live with your dad” and not only do it with the tone of ‘I don’t care either way, just wondering’ but then whatever her answer was I could say “Oh, ok, so did you like the part where [something about the movie]” and keep on going. In an email everything has to be …well, I suspect everyone understands where this is going.
Make sense?
Oooh, another complaint for the women (and the men I’m sure as well). Fill out your damn profile. The summary part that is. When all you write is " I’m looking for someone that wants to have fun, but can be serious as well. Someone who knows what they want out of life. Career, life and personal goals are so important. I enjoy my life, but I would really like to share it with someone else."
That gives me nothing to work with. I refuse to send unthoughtful messages that looks just like everyone else’s so if your profile has no sustenance, I can’t send you anything. Now, I understand that people that just signed up do this, but I expect them to fill it out over the next week or so as they get a chance to look at other people’s profiles, but there’s no excuse when you’ve been on for 4 months and it still looks like that. Also, I hate feeling like a stalker when I check it every other day. On OKC, I have a second profile set up. It’s totally blank and it browses privately. One of the reasons I set it up is so that I can look at someones profile seven hundred times while I figure out what I’m going to write or wait for her profile to evolve without looking like stalker. going back to what I said above about not sending an unthoughtful message. the time between me deciding I want to send an email an actually sending it is usually at least a day. I do read her profile very carefully, on OKC I will read your answer to every single question and really do (what I think is) a good job writing my first email. This tends to mean looking at their profile quite a few times over the course of somewhere between an hour and a day to make sure I really hit on things that I feel are important to her or me. So, to conclude, fill out your damn profile and on OKC, answer some questions. I’d say go for at least a hundred but the more you answer the more you give people to work with.
Okay, see Alaska is cool to me. I think of it cool and exotic - but still safe (physically and mentally), cause it’s still in the US and all that. I’d think most women would think that. A friend of mine has been living their with her hubby for roughly 18 months in Alaska and says the darkness is awful. I probably have mild SAD, so it’d be disaster for me. As for the granola, it depends how hard you crunch. I have crunchy friends that cringe in horror at my tales of India.
Hey, having one isn’t too special. Almost everyone gets married at some point in their lives, so it’s not like it’s this great big thing reserved for only the cool kids ;). Plus you’re in Alaska with hardly any unattached ladies.
Joey P, have you had any luck with women without kids? I’d imagine most with kids have them most of the time; it must be hard for them to find time.
If you had figured out a way to tactfully ask, I wanted to hear what kind of verbal gymnastics you had to do to pull that one off!
Yeah, but the ones who have profiles like that always have those unoriginal, off-putting names anyway.
In addition to “4U” in a screen name, I’d also suggest never replacing an “S” with a “$”, or having the word “angel” appear anywhere. Too many “wykdangel” or “fallenangel” or “starbelliedangel” names around. I blame Hot Topic.
It seems like everyone I find myself liking has kids. I’m more of a stay at home type person. You know how everyone says “I’m just as happy going out or staying in” I used to have that line in my profile as well, then one day I said “Bullshit, I like going out, but ya know what, I’d rather stay in and watch a movie then go out drinking all night” so I changed it. IME it tends to me mothers that have this attitude as well. I also think that women with children are more likely to reply to a guy that has kids.
Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather date someone that doesn’t have any kids, but I just haven’t had any luck yet.
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/RobotArm2
I think that will work without you having to log in. Unless you find anything glaringly wrong, I may not be inclined to change it much; for better or worse, it does seem mostly accurate. (Or is accuracy not the goal of this exercise?)
Don’t skip the Journal page, some of the cleverest bits are there.
You know, I really don’t get all the frustration about people who don’t fill out their profiles in the way you’d like. To me, it’s like they’re holding up a helpful sign that says, “You wouldn’t want to date me anyway.” Big time-saver.
ETA@Joey:
What’s that museum? I’ve driven past the building a hojillion times and never realized it was one! (Er, never realized it was a museum, I mean–I realized it was a building. :p)
It’s a museum owned by MSOE “dedicated to the evolution of human labor.” I thought it was pretty cool when they started putting the big statues on top…even cooler when I realized that they were all skilled laborers on top. A glass blower, a miner, a metal worker etc…
And like I said, it’s only $5 to get in.
Sometimes I think that’s correct. I want to complain about people that put stupid crap in their profiles, then I realize that I wouldn’t want to date someone that would say something like that anyways so it’s best that we got it out of the way now instead of a few months in.
My problem is when they hardly write anything to begin with. It’d be like going on a date and having the other person hardly say two words or express a single opinion. They might be the most interesting person in the world and your soul mate if they would just come out of their shell, but if they say nothing, you’ll never know and probably won’t ask them out again.
See, for me, someone who can’t haul their own ass out of their shell isn’t someone I’d be interested in dating. Be a reasonably whole adult person before I go out with you, kthx.
Robot Arm, I love your pictures! What a whacky assortment (and yet, you look very good in them, which is of utmost importance).
Snicker.
You’re killing me here!
I…can’t say I find anything glaringly wrong with it. Or even kind of wrong. I find it hilarious!
Perhaps add more photos of you traveling since you mention it. I’d add in somewhere in the text an indication of what your current facial hair is, since in your pictures you have you shorn and with a beard. Also put in the “children” section “none” (I don’t think you have any, right?). Or does — in OKC mean 0?
As an agnostic myself, I know that the term itself turns a ton of people off. Many recoil in horror, even when they themselves aren’t practicing anything. There was that one study (I’m sure you know this, but I’ll repeat it) showing that people would rather elect every ethnic minority and gay men and women over atheists/agnostics. People actually find us scary and unpopular!
My own mother, as irreligious as they come, will answer “Catholic” when asked what her beliefs are. Lots of people aren’t self-aware and only identify as what they grew up as. I don’t find any difference between a firm agnostic and someone who idly calls themselves “Baptist” or “Presbyterian” or “Hindu” or whatever, so long as they haven’t got to a religious service in years. So what I’m trying to get at is that you might want to leave the religion section blank. I think you might find more “indifferent” women drawn to you as a result.
I can’t see any reason that anyone with good sense (and a good sense of humor) would be turned off from your profile; you’ve got solid pictures of you as a good looking guy, your answers are funny without being over the top, you don’t seem to take yourself seriously, which is always a plus.
Bahahaha, love this.
I like the Journal section; you have me openly pining for being 20 years older and in MA. In case you’re worried people wouldn’t check it out (you reminded me to), I would add something in your main profile about “for more of my ramblings and whimsical insights into the meaning of life, please direct your attention to the Journal section”. Something pointing people to it, so they don’t skip it (perhaps people only look at the About Me and the Pictures).
Also, if you enjoy museums, the theater, poetry readings, restaurants, whatever, you might want to add that in. As hilarious as your profile is, it doesn’t say what you like to do much, beyond books/movies. But then again, it’s so perfectly laid out and tongue in cheek that you might not want to interrupt the flow; I personally don’t think it needs to be in there, but I also realize that other people might want it in there.
Are you on any of the paid sites? Around here on OKC, there’s virtually nobody that’s college educated or with a solid job/looks/humor on OKC. She quickly made the jump to Match or eharmony, I forget which (I think Match). If the market is different where you are and you’ve had luck with OKC, no need to switch it up. But if not, I’d consider going on a paid site. Or at least set up what Joey P did, which was somehow disguise his email address in a free account on a paid site so that someone can contact you.
Overall, I can’t complain, other than a few nitpicks.
Makes perfect sense.
I have a full blown paid membership to Match. I have two accounts on OKC. One is my real account, the other is a fake one that I use when I don’t want someone to know I’m looking at their profile. I really only use it for two things: 1)Composing an email to someone (so she doesn’t see me check her profile 10 times over the course of the day) and 2)To check out friend’s profiles on the occasions that I’ve stumbled across them.