I’ve messaged a bunch of girls on OkC lately and as far as I know, they never even checked me out. But they could be browsing anonymously, since it’s OkC. Maybe my emails do suck. I try to message and forget about them unless they message back, which is harder than it sounds.
I check out everyone that messages me unsolicited (all 3 of them!) I’m liable to check out all the ladies who visit my profile. It’s different for girls.
ETA: Speaking about different for girls, the regular female contributors to this thread (SFG, Mauvaise, etc.) are probably on dates tonight, while us blokes are posting this Friday night instead.
I already got a reply from the girl from the other message board. While I was reading it, SFG showed up as an online favorite, so maybe I was wrong. Or maybe she just got home from her date.
No date for me; I got passed over for another woman with the one guy I had gone out with a couple times. Apparently I’m not as charming as I think I am.
I was out, however, I had a tennis league match. 105 is just not a temp one should be out playing sports in.
No skirt! It went well, but will probably be the only one. I took a chance at the very low end of my age range…I’m not sure dating younger is a good idea. I think I would prefer to date women who have at least heard of Mellencamp’s ‘Authority Song’…
The message board girl mentioned messaging guys and getting discouraged because she got little to no response. She wondered how us guys dealt with it all the time. Today I got a peek at the other side. I got a very generic message with bad grammar. “Ur” should only be used in reference to the ancient city from Genesis. My eyes almost bled just reading it. I wonder how the ladies deal with getting these all the time. The answer to both is you get used to it.
I finally went out with a woman from OKC last night. It was nice. It was my first date in 11 freaking years, but strangely I wasn’t nervous at all. Nothing ventured, nothing gained I thought.
This woman is really cool, has a great personality, but…sparks did not fly. She’s twice divorced, has four kids, she’s kinda overweight…I just can’t picture myself being intimate with her.
How young are we talking about? I have 21-37 as my looking for, but actually look for 21-42. I have high matches at both extremes. I’ve been hesitant to message a 21 year old because of the age gap. At least she knew “Jack and Diane,” right? That was his biggest hit, or it could have been “Pink Houses,” or “Cherry Bomb.”
Did she lie in her photos? Was she overweight or obese?
No. All of her pictures were either face shots or from the chest up so It was hard to tell. I enjoyed myself but I just didn’t feel anything for her.
And it sucks really, because on many levels we connected. We both are into wine and gourmet food (hell, I plopped down $75 for a bottle of Barolo at this place we went to which is a hell of a bargain when you consider the retail prices for good Barolo wines start at about $65-70) and have other similar interests, but…I just don’t know.
I am glad I got out of the house and did it though. I’ve been feeling really lonely and curmudgeonly (and drunk) lately on weekends since my separation from my wife, since she has our boys on weekends. I don’t really have anyone to communicate with except the dogs and you guys. Most of my friends live far away and my local friends play gigs every weekend and aren’t available until after 2am. My brother and his wife are as busy with work as I am.
So…all in all it was positive. I also don’t think I know what I want at this point other than someone to hang out with, talk to and fuck.
I was just re-reading some past posts and came across this. I don’t know how I missed this the first time.
It’s very sensible advice. It also inspired me to write a long explanation about my situation. But then I deleted it because I looked up and saw my screenname, which is my own name. When I registered here ten years ago, I had no idea about the usefulness of being semi-anonymous on the internet. Is there any way that I can change my screenname here?
There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, as long as you are honest with yourself and others. I would not put it out of the realm of possibilities that you could find a woman who is looking for nothing more than that as well.
FKA Ataraxy, I can vouch for this. I wish I could change my name on OkC without paying for A-list or deleting and starting over. If someone googles “Invisible Chimp,” it is almost definitely me. There are some things I’ve posted on the SDMB that I don’t want girls on OkC to find out till later, if at all. Ironically, I was Invisible Chimp there first, when I was still Ataraxy here.
Ya know, I thought about that as well. I even started to have some of my links from this board to OKC and Match deleted to break that connection. (my usernames are different) Then I sort of gave it up. I figure if someone on a dating site finds me here via google, it’s not that big of a deal. I haven’t said anything on this site I’m ashamed of (that I can think of) and they’d have to wade through 10,000+ posts. They only thing that might be slightly embarrassing is this thread which is basically a journal of the trials, tribulations and frustrations of online dating. For that reason, I do try to keep things non-specific or at least not talk about anyone that I’m currently talking to.
Having said that, I’m an internet guy, so I like to think if someone managed to find me here, or my dating profile on the opposite dating site, or my facebook page (which some people have since I’ve made it easy to find) or anything else about me online, I’d like to think that’s one thing we’d have in common.
Well I am 35, and I have my range as 25-45. She was 26. Apart from the difference of interests/cultural references, I just couldn’t get over the…I donno…young-ness? I’m sure that she’s not representative of all 26 year-olds, though, so I’m not narrowing my range for now. Maybe it says more about me than it does about her
Didn’t ask about ‘Jack and Diane’…something about the blank look I got threw me off my game for a second
I’d say you took the right route by messaging her privately. And moot point now, since she replied, but I *would not *post again if she didn’t reply to that message.
No, then it would be anal, coitus interruptus, lots of praying, and *seven *kids.
Treat it the same as someone who checked out your profile but didn’t reply. It’s possible that they did look at your profile, but via some means where it wouldn’t show up (an alt account or a separate window where they’re not logged in–though the latter won’t work if you have your profile only available to members).
Actually, Friday night I dropped by an art show put on by a guy I know to snag a piece, and then I came home and played L4D2 with a friend who lives in Chicago. (Now that I think of it, he’s an SDMBer, too.)
Honestly, I don’t really ever get used to it. I just quietly thank the person for taking the time to mark themselves as someone I can politely turn down.
Wait, there are more criteria for someone you want a relationship with?
As observed, you can email an admin to change it (I did). However, unless you’ve already changed your name, keep in mind that what you have now (first name only) is such a common name that the odds of anyone being able to connect it back to you, personally, are pretty slim.
I was kinda touching on how many of the profiles I see have a lot of these “don’t message me if you’re not serious”, “Don’t waste my time” disclaimers in them. I don’t know how serious I want to be…I just got out of an 11 year relationship!
Plus, if something were to ever become “serious” again, in my experience its just kind of happened and naturally developed out of a casual relationship.
