Yeah, that would be a good excuse. Yikes - hope his dad is ok.
I guess I can see that, but still - at least 10 miles. That’s enough of a radius in a big city to not help stalkers. They could always put a fat disclaimer that setting your search radius too small could 1) reduce your potential matches and 2) increase your security risk.
For me, it’s more a matter of I have limited free time. I’m at work by 6am, so I go to be pretty early. I’m not going to want to haul my ass out to the ass-end of Mesa after work and back home again for a date. Add in school and tennis, and that narrows my ‘free time’ - I don’t want to spend that commuting to a relationship. I live close to work for the very reason that I hate commuting.
I don’t immediately dismiss anyone that lives at the far end of that 25-mile range, but it is an immediate check in the ‘con’ column.
Apparently the surgery went well. It’s actually kind of cute–he’s all, “I’m so sorry! I still want to get together! I don’t want you to think I’m just blowing you off!” while my responses are, “Dude, FAMILY COMES FIRST, calm down, we’ll get together whenever you can find the time!”
Searching using a small radius doesn’t increase your *own *risk. The risk is that *other *people could use a small radius in their own searches to narrow down where *you *are (by searching from multiple locations in order to check the overlap on whether or not you show up).
Right, but isn’t the risk that other people could use a small radius to narrow down where you are increase your own risk? I mean it’s the same thing, right? You are at greater risk to being stalked because someone could use…
WAIT!!! Never mind! I get it now! :smack:
I can’t even blame early morning or Friday for the brain-fart. I can blame the fact that I’m working and trying to multi-task. And that I can be a bit of a ditz sometimes.
Just curious if anyone wants to share how their religious preferences factor in?
Being an atheist, I will consider someone who is ‘Christian but not too serious about it’, but rule out anyone more religious than that. That’s part of the reason I have to increase my radius…if I was on the market for a good Christian girl, I’d probably have my hands full. Metaphorically. Kind of.
I won’t automatically rule anyone out that says they are “Christian, but not too serious about it”, but that would be a tiny pink flag that would need to be explored early on to see what their definition of “not too serious” is and if it’s something I could live with. I rule out any one more religious than that as well, no matter what religion.
This from the person that got spotted walking down the street? (Coincidence, I know) I meant to say this earlier, but at the very least, you know your pictures are about as accurate as they could possibly be if someone spotted you from that far away with enough confidence to yell your name down the block.
I always think of those who descibe themselves as such as being on the safe end of Pascal’s Wager.
But yes, exactly what they mean by that is something that would need to be explored early on.
Related: In the past week, I have received messages from two women who both identified as moderately or very religious. When I pointed out that we are probably not a good match (in non-specific terms) they had no idea what I was talking about…
I’m an atheist (wow, that comes out wrong if you don’t type the ‘a’), I have no problem with people that are religious provided we can have the 'I won’t try to change you’re life if you don’t try to change mine" type relationship. That is, if they don’t try to explain to me why need to accept god, I won’t try to science you out of it. If someone mentions anything along the lines of “God is important to me, and he has to be a big part of your life as well”, it’s probably not going to happen. IOW, you can be as religious as you want, but if you attempt to make me feel guilty for not being religious, it’s not going to work. Though I’m happy to learn about and discuss religion. But I’ve learned that most Catholic people actually don’t know that much about religion. In fact, somewhere along the lines I picked up a tidbit that atheists tend to know more about religion then religious people. In my years, I’ve found that to be somewhat true.
Agreed. And I feel that if you say that you’re at least ‘somewhat’ serious, then you’ll probably eventually try to make me feel guilty or outright convert me!
Aww, I was getting kind of excited about the prospect of drawing you a little diagram.
I’m an atheist. There is no way for me to discuss religion with people for whom such a thing is important that doesn’t boil down to me at least implying that they’re idiots. I wouldn’t necessarily write someone off for having a religious preference–even a casual one–other than atheist or agnostic, but it would certainly go a long way toward suggesting that we won’t be compatible.
(TITTAAAAAAYYYYYS!!! guy? Very Christian, including listing The Bible under his favorite books. :smack:)
There’s a difference between “someone who lives down the block might recognize me” and “someone who has no idea where I live can figure it out without actually having to randomly be in my vicinity.”
Nice.
Confession time: When I was previously on Match several years ago, I always said I was ‘Spiritual but not religious’. Because what the hell does that mean, anyway? Figure it would increase my chances…didn’t do me any good, though.
Just looked out of curiousity, to see what size pools we’re fishing in. Metro populations:
Milwaukee - 1.7 million
Kansas City - 2.1 million
Phoenix - 4 million. Lucky!
Not so lucky when you’re a card-carrying Democrat living the city that actually voted in Jan Brewer, Russell Pearce, and (numerous times) Arpaio. :mad:
Oh, I know.
I think if people want to make themselves harder to find there’s other things to worry about other then the search radius and zip code or city.
Just off the top of my head…
How similar is you’re user name to your real name?
How locked down is your facebook profile?
Are any of your pictures publically available on FB or anywhere else on the internet (tineye)?
Is your username used (by you) elsewhere on the internet?
Does your profile mention anything that could narrow down where you work or live? It doesn’t even have to be specific, for example, if you live in Milwaukee and mention that you work at an immersion school, well, you’ve kinda narrowed down the possibilities. If somewhere else, you mention that you speak fluent French, you might not realize it, but it’s not hard for someone to put two and two together and figure out exactly where you work.
I list The Bible under favorite books and I’m as much an atheist as you. Actually it’s my guilty pleasure book. I especially like the poetry books: Proverbs, Psalms, Song of Solomon, and Ecclesiastes. I also like Genesis and Revelation.
Do you mention it that way? I mean, if someone wrote that, exactly as you have it written above, that’d be one thing. But if under “Six things I can’t live without” or “Favorite Books” it simply said “The Bible” I’d get a totally different vibe from it.
Also, Forgive me IC, for I haven’t read the bible since catholic school. But Genesis could almost be read like a fantasy or children’s book, couldn’t it?
Also, I’m not much of a reader (in fact I really don’t read at all), but I always said that if I was a reader, that Bible is something wanted to read through at some point. I still remember ‘losing my faith’ in grade school, but years and years later, looking back at what I was taught as the be all end all truth through the eye of an atheist, I realized that there were some good stories in there.
Yes, it’s like that. I list my favorite books. After that it says, “Guilty Pleasure: The Bible.” I have a guilty pleasure TV show, movie, musician, and food too.
