Bush dies peacefully in his sleep. This is weird even for the Onion. I’m still giggling.
This is true. Rather weird, but the last sentence makes up for a lot of creepiness.
I don’t get it. Are they saying he’s such a villain someone made plans to have his corpse sucked through a jet engine a la James Bond?
I’m not sure, but they have been for weeks running articles on “Bush gets hurt in dramatic ways”. One week it was falling down the stairs and breaking every bone. Another week it was a brain virus. Etc. So this is the opposite.
Woah. That’s a little dark even for me! :eek:
I was reading it more in a ‘sure there would be a thorough investigation, but unfortunately the body has been destroyed’-kinda way…
Nah, it seems pretty clear to me. Even if Bush were to pass on in such a calm and peaceful manner, the nature of the man ensures that some colossally undignified screwup would inevitably result. He was basically President Wile E. Coyote.
Yes, that’s how I got it, too.
“The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had.”
I was trying to place a feeling I got when I read the last line, connected with the fact Bush’s corpse had a slight grin on its face. It probably isn’t a Donnie Darko reference, but damn if my subconscious didn’t go there.
:smack: That’s it exactly! I finally understand those weird George Bush Onion aritcles.
I wasn’t that impressed. But I really liked one of the sub-headlines from the front page:
“Mattress King Selects Wife From Small Wisconsin Village”
Yeah–it’s the culmination to the “Bush Dies Horribly” series (my personal favorite: Spider Eggs Hatch In Bush’s Brain). All those articles ended with exactly the same sentence: “Bush is resting comfortably at Bethesda Naval Hospital.” This one is the exact opposite of those, and is one of the funniest thing the Onion has done in years, IMO.
Daniel
I thought the last sentence was a reference to the United flight that downed in the Hudson. aka that Bush is as useful/intelligent/problematic/annoying/inbred/protected-by-the-migrating-waterfowl-act as a terrorist Canadian Goose.
So Malcolm Reynolds isn’t on the most wanted list, then?
So Cheney finally got to be President . . . and spent his entire term getting pushed around in a wheelchair. There is a God. 
I am absolutely astounded at the Onion’s foresight: Bush’s inauguration article.
I’ve seen that occasionally passed around. If I were the writer, I’d have been progressively more freaked out over the past eight years as I saw how right I’d been.
I think they hit just about the right note in covering Obama’s inauguration speech. I can imagine him getting really, really annoyed by the sound of a jackhammer while he’s talking.