The subject says it all… Post away.
Trigger is at the flat. Rodney has put on classical music
Trigger: Ain’t there any words to this, Dave?
Rodney: Words? No… no words. Sorta instrumental.
Del Enters
Del: What’s this?!
Trigger: It’s Mozart’s Concerto in D Major. It’s the karaoke version.
The gang are in the pub speculating over the name of Del and Raquel’s new baby
Mike: So?
Trigger: What?
Mike: What name have they decided on?
Trigger: If it’s a girl they’re calling her Sigourney after an actress, and if it’s a boy they’re naming him Rodney after Dave.
Del announcing Raquel’s pregnancy to Rodney and Albert
Del: How many people can you see standing there? Points at Raquel
Albert: Well… one.
Del: I can see two.
Rodney: You know what that means, Albert?
Albert: No.
Rodney: Well, either Raquel’s pregnant or Del’s pissed.
He who dares, Rodders, he who dares.
I forgot:
Grandad: I mean smoking mari-jew-arna! You brought a slur upon the family name.
Rodney: Oh leave off Grandad. I’d have to get done for chicken molesting to bring a slur on this family’s name!
And one of my favourite moments has to be when a rat-arsed Del is singing because he’s in love with Raquel and starts the riot on the estate.
When he wakes up in the morning he can’t remember anything and asks rodney whats going on. The dialogue between Del and Rodney cracks me up everytime, but i can’t find it anywhere. Something like:
**Del:**Whats all the noise out there?
Rodney: Its another Riot.
Del: Bleedin’ hell! what kicked them off again?!
Rodney: You bloody did Del! It was you!
Dell then proceeds to sell ski masks to the rioters 
Down the local nick, the Trotters are being interrogated about a robbery :
Policeman : Can you describe the thief? Was he Caucasian?
Grandad : Oh, no. 'E was a white fella!
There’s something about Lennard Pierce’s matchless delivery style that cracks me up especially hard every time I see that bit. It was never quite as good after dear old Grandad died…
I’d say it was good, just different. Grandad was funny in his own right, Uncle Albert tended more towards the “funny in conjuction with others,”
There was something special about Grandad:
Grandad: Scotch bloke gave me this during the war. I remember it like it was yesterday. His hands were trembling and his voice just a whisper. He said “I want you to have something to remember me by, Trotter. Take me lucky coin.” Then he . . . he went!
Del: What - he died?
Grandad: Deserted! Mind you , you couldn’t blame him the way them Germans was carrying on. Someone was gonna get hurt.
the episode with the blow up dolls.
or the fake ambulance.
Del and rodders are in a Newsagents. The girl serving happens to be someone rodney has been seeing. Rodney calls Del over for a whisper…
Rodney: It’s a bit embarrasing, I want to get one my my ‘adult art’ magazines. Only I’m seeing that girl She might think I’m odd.
Del: Well she’ll find out some time or other.
Rodney: Get it for us would ya Del?
Del: allright allright rodney.
…
Del: E ar darlin, exchange and mart, oh, give me one of them dirty mags will you.
Girl: Which one?
Del (well within earshot of the girl): Which one d’you want rodney?
My personal favourite scene is always the last one in series two’s “It Never Rains” with grandad explaining why he thinks the spanish police arrested him “Well I were up to no good weren’t I” managing to fit the French foreign legion, Peckham dole queues, the Spanish civil war and gunrunning.
To my mind there has hardly been a duff episode of this show (excluding, of course, the two most recent specials and the never again to be spoken of Miami episode)
Del and Rodney running through the streets dressed as Batman and Robin.
That time when they had to find hotels after the trip to Margate :- Trigger - " I’ve found a room in a motel ,don’t tell them I haven’t got a car will you ? "
Also Denzil - " I’ve been to Hull and Back "