The Penis Thread. For guys only.

Gee, just mention the word penis and you guys get all excited. Buncha pervs.
All right guys, I just read this article from the News Of the Weird (www.newsoftheweird.com) and I gots to know. So,lock yourself in your office, put your back to the cubicle doorway, and whip out out Mr. Happy and read this too him:

    • Dutch researchers, writing in a December issue of British Medical Journal, reported their findings on observing couples engaged in sexual intercourse while inside MRI machines (modified so the couple would fit
      inside), for example, that during missionary-position sex, the penis is no straight but actually takes the shape of a boomerang. *

(Naturally, I’m thinking Coldy volunteered for this, all in the name of Science and pioneering new frontiers, so to speak.)
Now, I have to ask you penis owning…err…penis controlled knuckle dragging apes, other than the obvious, what does it feel like to be inside a woman? ( Sqrlcub and Esprix, what the hell, this is an Equal Opportunity Thread) but I guess what I want to know is, it sure doesn’t feel like a boomerang from moi’s point of …coitus.

I actually saw some footage that must have been taken by the same people (IIRC it was on one of HBO’s or Showtimes’s late night programs on sex). I thought it was pretty amazing that they were able to do that - the images were cross-sectional views of a couple in the act. Yup, Mr. Johnson was not completely straight, but instead, uh, flexed with every stroke.

Well, it’s only slightly curved. I think boomerang is a bit of an exaggeration. But there definitely is a slight curve to the right. I think the feeling while inside is not too affected by this, but that’s of course only speculation since I’ve never had sex with a perfectly straight penis.

This story was in Playboy recently, too.

How to explain this to someone who does not possess the real estate…
How do you explain color to a blind man?
To be perfectly honest, I’ve only been conscious of being touched on all sides. I’ve never felt any sensation of bending. I suspect that this is the common reaction, because this “boomerang” thing seems to have been a surprise to everyone.

I can turn the questiion around and put the shoe on the other foot (or the foot on the other shoe) – do women feel any sense of excessive pressure on one side? My guess would be that they don’t, for the same reason.

MMM penis. I doubted they would stay straight anyway. Have you ever played with a rigid vibrator? They are not fun at all. If you have ever deepthroated, then you know the penis must bend just a tiny bit to go down. It bends a lot less than ninety degrees but is still noticeable. It wouldn’t be able to go down the trachea otherwise. :slight_smile:

HUGS!
SQrl

MMM penis. I doubted they would stay straight anyway. Have you ever played with a rigid vibrator? They are not fun at all. If you have ever deepthroated, then you know the penis must bend just a tiny bit to go down. It bends a lot less than ninety degrees but is still noticeable. It wouldn’t be able to go down the trachea otherwise. :slight_smile: The performer can tell it bends with oral sex, but the receiver of oral sex rarely notices unless it is an extreme bend.

HUGS!
Sqrl

It’s a veeeery niiiiice.

Next question?
Actually, in a somewhat more responsive mode, my erections tend to curve slightly anyway (up toward the ceiling, thanks). During intercourse, I generally feel “enveloped on all sides” and “happy as a clam”. Wife feels different emphasis depending upon position, apparently due to my natural curve.

That’s a good thing. When we have marathon sessions it means that shifting positions keeps her from getting too sore. For myself, I like shifting positions for a number of reasons, but the sensation to my penis really does not change (other than depth of penetration, of course).

I’m sure this is the only time I’ve ever followed a gay guy when it came to sex, but…

I can only describe the coital sensation around my penis as being gripped, not by a hand, but by a sheath of some kind, if that makes sense. Obviously, with a hand job, the sensation includes the fingers, the motion of moving in and out of the fist, etc. But vaginal sex lacks all of that, and is more all-encompassing to the member.

Shirley, why the hell did you make me try to describe this? It’s like pornography, I can’t define it, but I know it when I, um, feel it.

Sqrl, err, I’m no expert on the topic as I’ve only been on the receiving end but I think you mean larynx. The trachea is the rigid windpipe.

As for the OP it feels universally great but with many variations. Anywhere between a velvety, yielding softness to something akin to the cuff on a sphygmomanometer. :smiley:

Boomerang? I think that was exaggerated. A Hollywood loaf that bends that much won’t go in easily.

Well Dave you can thank Spiritus for posting between you and Sqrlcub.

Actually, I have to agree with Spiritus, mine curves slightly upward, so if it bends a bit more during sex, I do not feel it.

Okay, pop quiz:

If a guys thing were to get bent much during sex, it would hurt like the dickens :wink: so he would:

a) have sex often because he likes the mix of pleasure and pain.

b) have sex as often as necessary to keep his woman happy

c) never have sex, only do things that would not put a kink in his member.

The correct answer is C.

I agree that the imagery of a boomerang was probably an exageration, more like a cooked hot dog.

As to the feel, well it is better than a hand job or a blow job otherwise we again would never bother with the actual act of intercourse (except of course to get more later). And guys in prison would not have to resort to homosexual sex just to get their rocks off. There is just something about that feeling. If I could come up with a better mental picture, you guys would really worry about me. :wink:

Jeffery

Actually Shirley it was probably the girls that got excited about a penis thread.

If you had started a thread on some part of the anatomy specific to the female gender, then we pervs would have gotten excited.

Jeffery

To tell the truth, it changes as things progress. It always feels somewhat encased (thanks DAVEW0071 for the sheath analogy, it’s pretty accurate), but the rigidity is a function of the blood flow to the organ (my favorite, BTW). It bends quite a bit at the beginning, kind of allows you to explore, but when you get to the final strokes, it’s rigid as all get-out. Whatever orientation you have is pretty much committed at that point.

First of all, Boomerangs don’t have that much of a bend. You better look at a real one before you decide.

Its easy. Just like if you keep putting air into a long rubber balloon, it curves like a boomerang.

What’s it like being in a woman? Like sticking your finger in a warm apply pie.

I meant ‘apple’ pie but cherry pies are close.

My bad, I did mean larynx/esophogous (sp). Having been on both ends of this experience I really am not surprised at all.

HUGS!
Sqrl

Uh, padeye, the larynx is several inches down the trachea. It’s your voicebox, you know.

I’m thinking you meant “esophogus”. Of course, I’ve never deepthroated a guy, so I can’t speak from personal experience. (<— lack of experience is NOT due to unwillingness to experiment, thankyewverymuch.)

Well, it actually goes past the larynx sometimes, so you know. It just depends on how big he is.

HUGS!
Sqrl

‘I’ve never deepthroated a guy’ me either, but of course I don’t swing in that direction.

Makes the girls’ eyes water. I can tell you that much. If I said anymore, I’d be getting too many emails from the women here.

The biggest problem I have is I hate the way the girls stomach acid burns the tip of my penis.

I mean, I know it is not her fault that it is that long, but it still hurts like a sumbitch.

Viper

[disclaimer]
I don’t normally reply to these sorts of threads. I don’t even read them. (Do you believe that? – I’m still lying awake nights after reading the psychic orgasms thread. So far, though, nothing!)
[/disclaimer]

All that just to trot out an old limerick:

There once was a fellow named Brent
Whose cock was so terribly bent
That so, to save trouble,
He put it in double
And instead of coming, he went!