The Perfect Storm

If you don’t want to know about this movie, read no further.

What a fucking waste of film! This piece of crap was 2 hours and 15 minutes of my life that I’ll never get back. What the hell are the reviewers talking about? “Oscar” nominations? Special-effects can only carry a movie so far, these captured my interest for about 2 minutes.

My main beefs:
-Swimming underwater with your eyes open, in SALT water for chrissake, and the water is clear enough to see 40 yards during a hurricane?

-What the hell is the deal with George Clooney’s CPR skills? Murph spends 5 minutes underwater, George shakes his shoulders and says “Come on, Murph.” BINGO, Murph recovers.

-Why the hell is the fat cow, Irene, in the FRONT ROW at the funeral? She knew Bugsy for all of an hour,maybe, says good-bye to him at the pier, and now her and her kids are weeping their f-ing eyes out? Christ, Marky-mark’s PARENTS are sitting behind her!

There’s just too many to keep going.This movie completely failed to capture my attention, an hour and forty minutes and I couldn’t wait for them to die so that I could leave. And that STILL didn’t end the melodrama. How this dog made it out of production I’ll never know. Predictable, melodramatic, formulaic Hollywood claptrap.

I think alot of the hype about this movie arose because its based on a true story, and is one of those movies that’s supposed to unite us through human tragedy or something…

Read the book, its most likely better…

and respect the dead =)


I saw the preview. I said to myself, “What a horrible-looking movie. What’s the point?”

I’m glad to know that my keen sense of sucking is still working.


I am totally with you on this one, my thoughts exactly.


Well, sure, but . . . he wasn’t trying to start a heart but rather get water from out of a pair of lungs, it still is not very realistic, but it is closer to the truth than C.P.R.


Good point, yet that was the closest that Bugsy (Michael) got to touching another life. I thought it made sense, I mean, he was a loser. Mooooooooooooo

I actually liked this flic. Parts of it scared the hell out of me - the shark, and when that helicopter (supposedly 200 feet in the air) got hit by a wave. I also felt the special effects were awesome.

However, I have one BIG problem . . . if no one survived, then how the hell do they know all that stuff happened on the ship ? They don’t , which means that 85% of the film was conjecture . . . i.e. bullshit.

Sad, Good f/x though.

** - NM**

Hey I liked this movie. Yes, there were inconsistent parts, but far be it from me to judge a movie because it’s not realistic. I mean, the whole love story of Titanic was fake, but that was ok because the premise was true.

As for it being conjecture, many books are like that, and this is based on the book. Did anyone see “American Beauty”? The narrator was dead.

I cried, I laughed, I screamed. I loved it and I give it 5 *****.


Sorry ya’ll wasted money on it, though.

One of the new commercials for the flick pisses me off. They have some gruff voiceover extolling the virtues of the men who harvest the bounty of the sea blahblahblah. Then comes the line “It’s the toughest job on earth”.

OK, it can be dangerous but the toughest job on earth? How about corrections officers? Navy Seals? Firemen? Washington Heights beat cops? SWAT team? Sherpas? P4 level microbiologists? Bankok hookers?

From what I recall, in the book at least, the conjecture was arrived at though piecing together the known facts with the experiences of people who had survived similar ordeals. As for being underwater for five minutes, in cold water I don’t think that’s necessarily enough to even require CPR. Yeah, it’s a movie, it’s bound to have some flaws, but the ones brought up so far are pretty minor as far as Hollywood goes.

Oh, and since I missed Alpha’s post when I posted my last, I’m not sure about toughest, but I’ve seen on The Learning Channel (IIRC) that Alaskan crab fishermen have the most dangerous job in the US (I believe the ratings were from OSHA). So I can see a legitimate claim, though it is undoubtedly a bit of an exaggeration.

Junior high school teachers? :wink:

Elaborate, please. I’m getting this hilarious visual…“Well, let’s see how many crabs are in the ol’ trap today…OW! OW!!!”

Or do they plunge naked into the seething, arctic waters, armed only with a buttered croissant, to do hand-to-hand combat with the Biggest Darn Crabs on Earth?

Nah, they scour the brothels to find the oldest prostitutes, and use very small combs.

Wow, what an awful visual. :barf:

Your criticism of the visibility is dead on. 40 inches would be a good distance in those conditions.
Your criticism of the salt water is not valid. I’ve done it. I wouldn’t do it for hours at a time, but it is not the end of vision as we know it.

Actually, the book, which is now characterized as a novel, was originally released with a lot of hype about it having been based on what “really” happened and it took a lot of the same criticism at the time.

Alaskan crab fishing occurs in the same kind of weather that Grand Banks fishing does, but to be profitable, it requires that the crew of six work 20-hour shifts for several weeks handling a number of processing machines that are designed for efficiency, not safety. There are a lot of lost limbs, and in those weather conditions, it is not difficult to die of exposure or shock and trauma.

Oh good God… who cares?! George Clooney could just sit and fold laundry for 4 hours and I would pay 20 bucks to see him…

I haven’t seen the movie and don’t plan to based on my observation that every movie based on a natural disaster SUCKS! Armageddon, Deep Impact, Twister, and dare I even mention the name - Dante’s Peak. All sucked. Sucked donkey balls. The genre is devoted to the proposition that the main character is the disaster, as exemplified by the lavishing of screen time to their special effects. Humans are a mere afterthought to remind us that this is supposed to be happening on Earth, rather than, say, Cardassia. Yawn. I inevitably leave disgusted, bored, and pissed off at all the obvious impossibilities. Thanks anyway.

The documentary on crab fishing was quite good. In the season they documented, 7 workers were lost out of around 500. IIRC, one entire boat sank, killing 5, and 2 others were tossed out into the frigid ocean by a wave. That’s a pretty high mortality rate.

Of course, people don’t HAVE to have crab, so one can argue that voluntarily assumed risks shouldn’t be considered. I mean, Himalayan mountain climbing guide is probably just as deadly…

Oh my goodness, girlfriend. Up until now the very idea of a man folding laundry was enough to get me hot and bothered. But George Clooney? For FOUR HOURS?!?!!? ::SWOON!::

THAT’S what we need! A BARFING SMILEY!
– Sylence

Green Eyes:

Amen, sister. Amen.

I can’t take credit for the idea of a barfing smiley. They have one over at Opal’s. They got all sorts of smilies over there. :barf: is my favorite.

Yeah, but it didn’t claim to be based on true events, did it?
As for “toughest job”, wouldn’t suicide bomber be the true holder of that title? (Although I suppose OSHA probably doesn’t statistics on that occupation :slight_smile: ).

P.S. the quote feature includes the name of the original writer! Yay!