The Pessimist's Guide to the Reality of Life

The BBQ Pit
21

That which does not kill you, merely postpones the inevitable.

If life gives you lemons, Shut up and eat your goddamn lemons!!!

It is always darkest right before it goes completely black.

It could be the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.

Never be afraid to share your dreams with the world, because there is nothing the world loves more than the taste of really sweet dreams.

22

Ah, but you see, if I proclaim to be happy in my marriage now, that guarantees nothing tomorrow.

23

I’m surprised nobody has provided this link yet:

If you aren’t familiar with this line of uninspiring calendars, I suggest you go familiarize yourself.

24

I thought it was, “Life’s a bitch, and then you marry one.”