Hope I’m not the magistrate alluded to in the OP. I’ve mentioned my job in passing, where it was relevant to the thread, but never following my name… until now.
The Hon. Elendil’s Heir, Magistrate
J.D., B.A. (honors), Eagle Scout
Robot Arm
B.S., ASEL, SDMB Patron Saint of Mix Tapes and Men of Their Word.
BiblioCat,
A.A. in Merchandising, Early Childhood Education Certification
EMT-B, HazMat Ops certified, Firefighter 1, EVOC, Smith System certified
Kat
BA, Speech Communications
National Merit Scholar
Official Cat Goddess of the SDMB
Messiest Desk Award Winner
Illuminatiprimus
Government Official for Education and Children’s Service (UK), Squash player extraordinaire, resident Satanist, possessor of seriously random facts
Silver Tyger Girl
- Graphic Artist, Conlanger, Webcartoonist (retired), Author, Geek, Generally awesome.
Runs With Scissors
B.A., English
M.A.T., Language Arts
MsRobyn
Master of Science, communication studies
Bachelor of Arts, communication and journalism, magna cum laude
Member, Honor Society of Phi Kappa Phi
Guku,
Grade B Stupidity Handler [Helpdesk employee]
Grade A Person Handler [Receptionist]
Certified Hunter [400 metres markup test]
Skeetshooter extraordinaire.
2007 Northwest Russ “Best Bladder” Award Winner.
Norwegian Army Home Defence Youth Sniper Of the Year 2005.
Regional “Norwegian Rural Youth” Axe Throwing Champion 2004-2006.
Knows The Cake Is A Lie.
ETA: Fittingly, this was my 1000th post! 
Stand back, everyone! I have an Associate’s Degree!
Sarahfeena
Girl Scout Knot Tying Badge Recipient
BS, Psychology
I think that’s it. I’ve led a thrilling and accomplished life.
(OK, OK, I did earn a bunch more badges…but that was by far the most awesome one!)
Man, do I feel like a piker after seeing some of those creds.
I hold an expired 2nd class FCC license, with a broadcasting endorsement.
BS degree (I used to teach troubled youths in a lock-up facility)
Master Gardener
Lots of ribbons from horse shows. I have to give the credit to my horses, though.
I’ll play -
Long time first time VMD, MS, DACVIM, BMF
Translated -
VMD - Veterinarian who received their degree from U Pennsylvania
MS- Masters of science
DACVIM - Diplomate, American College of Veterinary Internal Medicine
BMF- Bad motherf…you get the idea
For the puposes of this board, my most important title might be Sternvogel’s main squeeze. He introduced me to the board and posts her a lot more than I.
Governor Quinn
BA (Hist, SCL), MA Can(InStu), AHA, PKP, PAT, GK, PCM, CT, CSUS Alum, SAA
Desperate Job Hunter
Thread Killer Extraordinaire
SSgt. (USAF) (First Termer, One 6-year hitch)
AAS, Fort Steilacoom Community College
BA, English, University of Washington
Life Member, University of Washington Alumni Association
Member, American Legion
Member, Kite Builders International
Member, American Kitefliers Association
Member, Washington Kitefliers Association
Founder and Member, Pierce County Kitefliers Association
In 1960 I was a Member of the Huckleberry Hound Fan Club
And, I’m a lifelong “Patches Pal” (J.P. Patches)
Do we have any PHDs on the dope? I’m sure we must do.
BA Economics and Mandarin Chinese
International MBA
Published book author
FCC Radio Station broadcasters license (required to be a DJ before 1980 & Radio station DJ for 5 years)
Series 7/Series 10 (which no longer exists) and 7 year Investment banking veteran
Kenpo brown belt (2nd degree from Gary Garrett)
20+ years international work experience (China, HK, Taiwan and Japan)
Sales pro
I have doctorates in 17 disciplines, master’s degrees in another 8, and undergraduates in everything from alphanomics to zoo-ophony.
I’d have two more advanced degrees, if I did not to this day deny the existence of both “Q-Bert” & “Wario”