And you would be one of those exceptions I was talking about, now wouldn’t you?
//hijack
Didn’t mean to stir up too much of a hornets nest, but you have to admit that every relationship requires a certain amount of effort on both parts to work. Long-distance relationships require much, much more effort, and are therefore less likely to succeed in the long run. And if you add in the specific situation here, I doubt that many people would argue against “guy away at college, girl still in high school” being one of the situations that is most likely to fall apart. Even if the girl “stays true”, the guy isn’t necessarily going to cooperate.
And if you’ve been around enough people in long-distance relationships, you develope a sense about which ones are going to fall apart (the majority) and which ones are going to succeed (the minority), reguardless of what you do. But the OPster obviously doesn’t have this sense yet, so I encouraged him to play the odds. (And no, I would have never, back in my dating days, gone after a girl in a LDR that I felt wasn’t going to fall apart.)
And I’ll add in that I probably should have never typed that out loud without a much better disclaimer, given the abnormally high rate of successful LTRs that seem to be on this messageboard, and the fact that I’ve posted relatively few times and you people don’t know me yet. (And that’s as close to an apology to any LTRers on the board that I’ve offended that I’m likely to get, so hopefully we can move past this point.)
//end-hijack
The point that I was trying to make was that, in this case, he shouldn’t feel too badly about going after another guy’s girlfriend. And he shouldn’t. She’s obviously either hot for him or leading him on, and should expect to get hit on back.
I believe that dud(e)s in college dating girls in junior high don’t count as real boyfriends. And maybe… just maybe… just don’t count… I mean… jailbait, anyone?
You might go for a kiss. A real-life, right-here-right-now, kiss is better than a hard drive full of emails. Even if you do regret it later.
I would go with C. Kiss her. From your description of the situation I think there is a very good chance of it working.
In my experience it works very well. Sometimes even when you don´t know the person that well. I met a girl at a party about five years ago. We had been introduced by a common friend and had talked and danced a little for about 30 minutes, and then there was this “moment” when I just took a gamble, leaned over and kissed her. It worked pretty well. We are getting married in the summer.
I recognize the situation from my own time in high school (and later on as well). You are getting along well with a girl, being good friends and talking about everything etc. But you just do not dare take the next step, because you are afraid you will lose it all. Looking back I know I have had a number of opportunities that I could/should have taken but did not either because I did not notice the common interest or because I chickened out.
What I am trying to say is:
If you get another of those “moments” with her. Take the chance!
Is simply not going to the prom a possibility? Maybe you like going to dances, I dunno. But there’s no law that says you have to go to the prom. Find a nice concert to go to on that night.
Well, that is a possibility, but it is not the prom that I am concerned about. It is that fact that I am wildly in love with her. Sure, I would love to take her to the prom, but I want her to lay in my arms on a rainy afternoon, or go to the park and just lay with each other in the grass. The prom is the least of my concerns, that is just the next major event.
Again, that might work, but I think I care for her too much to do that to her. I do not want her to get hurt in anyway. This is much more than a crush, and much deeper emotionally.
Hmm…this is a bit of a tough one. I’d feel bad about going for her when she has a bf, but you two have definitely clicked. If C presents itself again, go for it and kiss her. If you two hook up, great, if she isn’t ready to admit what you two have, then blame the moment. It could lead to her thinking about her feelings for you or make her realize that you have very strong feelings for her.
As far as the prom goes, I’d say not to go along with them. I went to the prom with a close friend, but have been along as a third wheel many-a-time and it truly sucks.
Plus, if we’ve learned anything from Encino Man, it’s that you should stay home instead of being the third wheel. Everything worked out for him in the end.
